Its a, a, a, demon?!

Some people who check out my blog might want to stop right here, and read something else. It is always amazing to me people actually READ this at all!


Yesterday as we left onething, I began to have this weird yawning thing. It isnt a real yawn. It was like a series of shallow yawns that seem unproductive. Danielle commented on it, and I was kind of thinking it was odd. This was coupled with the fact that her father just died of what we bet is congestive heart failure, and I, for some odd reason, was having the weirdest little twinge in my chest since Saturday night!

I was fairly confident the thing in my chest was actually just being sore from working out, as it wasnt that strong, was more sore than anything, and very small and localized, but just throw a little fear in there....

Anyhow, I had also commented to Danielle on Saturday that I was feeling rather at odds with what I was seeing. I typically have to steward my eyes a little, as I tend to be a very visual person, and I also receive revelation via "seeing". But I also need to be careful, as that same factor makes me oddly vulnerable to women who carry any kind of seductive element. So I simply understand that, and dont engage it.

My mind has been getting stuck on songs and sounds and phrases lately. I will get things just stuck in there, or I will hear certain things over and over again that arent something I want to think about or remember. This is another sign I am dealing with something that is personal, and specific rather than internal and general.

Anyhow, as we left onething, I began to yawn, and then I began to feel rather..... oppressed. I dont know how to describe it, but if you have ever had it, you would know. My head was a little foggy. I could physically feel tension moving up and around my back and my neck. After the 10th yawn, I said "This feels like deliverance". That it typically the way I have gone through it in the past. Most of the time it is that jaw stretching, deep, cracking kind of yawn that almost leaves me dizzy! This time, I couldnt seem to get anything out.

Within about 10 minutes, it became clear to me that God was taking something out of me, and I needed to get into it and push. Deliverance often involves the Will of the individual. At the same time, I am racking my brain trying to figure out what, if anything, I had done to engage something dark. I honestly couldnt figure anything out. At this point, if I cannot determine any place in my own life I actually invited oppression into my life, I have to determine it is either an current assignment, or something way back. Either one is possible, espeically as I have been reading lots of things about this lately, and especially Derek Princes stuff.

As we get on the 435, a voice in my head says "You are going to want to pull over". Im thinking "Great, if I need to pull over, what the heck is going ot happen!?". I have had a LOT of dealing with this kind of thing years and years ago, and I simply wont tolerate them. I have cast these things out of me on the freeway before! But I knew it wouldnt hurt.

I came up on 103rd Street. I figured that was a good Psalm, and I wanted this thing out. We pulled over, I claimed that whole Psalm, especially


Ps 103:1-5
1 Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--
3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
(NIV)

And then Danielle and I prayed. It took a long time! We actually had someone drive up to us (in a red truck), and stop and ask us if we needed help. I didnt see them, as I was too busy yelling "God didnt bring me this far so I could live the rest of my life with some stupid demon, GET OUT". Danielle just waved and told them "Were fine thanks". Then they turned around and left.
Anyhow, we finally got deliverance. Im not afraid to talk about this, and Im not ashamed. God has delivered me from SO MANY THINGS. It is one of the best things He does for me. And I am not in any willful activities (AMAZINGLY!!!!!) that would allow for that to be welcome in my life. There has been so much deep change over the years, that this is actually not common any longer. But there is the reality that we contend with this more than we think.

The more I engage my calling. The more I receive from God. The more I seek to bless and love. The more the enemy wants a piece of me back. I have been both a willful participant, and a victim of things demonic in my life, and I hate all of it. And as I go along my life in my little Kansas City/IHOP bubble, I forget that there is also a proactive agent against me. It isnt just always my flesh or my weak/broken soul. I have an old accquaintance that seeks my life. Just as Ruach Adonai seeks out my life, so does a very real, very evil person.

I am more motivated now. I have felt over the last few weeks that I need to, and am getting, ready to contend with things like this again. It is odd for me, because the last 3-4 years hasnt been full of that. But as God keeps restoring vision and focus to my life, I am finding old tools and things He gave me, and they still fit my hands. As I remember how to swing them, and use them, life is coming back into parts of me that have been fallow on purpose.

This might all sound odd if someone reads it. I dont claim not to be odd. But Im excited. If for no other reason than God delivered me YET AGAIN from something. He LOVES ME THAT MUCH. He wont stop.

A Sad Announcement

We were woken up at 4:30 am yesterday to hear that Danielles father, David Wheeler, was having a problem. At that point we assumed something healthwise, but didnt understand. An hour later we got another call informing us that he was dead.

This was obviously a shock. We are very sad, and trying to piece together the things that have happened, as well as the things that will occur now. And as we do this, around the edges is this grief that wants to come out.

We could all see that Dave was having a hard time at Christmas. And the consensus was thankfully he was starting insurance from a new job Jan 1, and should be going to the Dr to start checking this. Dave had at least one heart attack I am aware of 20 years ago. In hindsight, Im betting he had several more.

I think the thing that has hit me the most is this is the 3rd time I have experienced this same process. My grandmother was having a little bit of trouble 12 years ago on Mothers day. We realized something was wrong, but didnt know what, or how serious. She died within a week. My Grandfather seemed to be having a little bit of trouble a few years back during Easter I think, and died suddenly within a day or 2. Last year, my wifes grandfather was having trouble all of a sudden,a nd then they foud out he had cancer, and died within a few months. My fathers mother was going downhill for a while, and my Dad (Im positive on a divine whisper) decided to go and see her again, got there just in time for her death. Now Dave.

I dont know if I have learned something, or see something, but here is what I believe now.

1. Everytime someone dies, you feel that kick in your butt to do something to take care of yourself better.

2. You commit to connect even more with people.

3. You realize signs in hindsight that you assure yourself you wont ignore again, but you do.

4. You try and process things, and remember, but it drifts into the past.

In several of those cases above, it was a shock. there was something going on, but there is always something going on, and everyone seems to get over it, except for the ONE TIME they dont. In the other cases, NO ONE regrets the extra effort of being there even though it is sad and difficult.

Dave Wheeler was a really neat guy. He was someone you had to sit and wait for the golden pieces that would come out, because on the outside, he tended to be a little aloof or quiet. But if you waited, you would hear some of the funniest things. It was Daves idiosyncrasies that were the best part. The guy smoked, drank a pot of coffee, and ate whatever he wanted. Didnt excercise etc... and the rattle and cough he had was an indicator to me that he was about as unhealthy as he could be, and still be a live. That was part of his little quirks. He was a headstrong guy, with a lot more IQ than I would guess people realized if they didnt listen to him.

He also brought me some venison to try, when he found out I never had tried any. And a bottle of "spring water". Turns out, he probably meant "still water", and when you talk North Carolina and "still water" it is what started NASCAR (i.e. moonshine). It was my favorite gift of the whole thing! It was such a pleasure trying something like this, and enjoying it while feeling special that he brought it for me.

Dave LOVED Charlotte, Ava, Leah, and Patrick. Patrick was as much Daves son as anyones (I think having 3 girls does that to you). Ava was doted on, and I have heard stories of Leah saying "Pop, I wanna go in the boat", and him dropping just about everything and getting her out in the water.

I now look at myself, after gaining 30 pounds since July, with a heart condition etc... at my age, having a new baby coming etc... and keep asking God for the Grace to enjoy food, but get healthy at the same time. I want to know I have done all that I can to be strong and healthy for my kids, and the calling on my life. I struggle with that daily. And it is clear I am not supposed to live in fear, but it is hard not to make a bigger deal out of something when someone isnt doing well physically.

You just never know. It should motivate us to do what we are already commanded to do, Love Each Other. Serve Each Other. Greet Each Other With a Holy Kiss. Submit to One Another. Seek to Bless and Not Curse. All of these things make sense when you get the crap knocked out of you as someone irrevocably leaves. I cannot do a thing to change this situation.

Im pissed off, because I barely got to know him. My girls and I had high hopes of someday learning how to fish with him. Im sad my wife lost her father, my daughter wont know her Grandfather. Im wrecked my Mother in Law has lost her Father, and her husband within 6 months of each other. Im mad that I didnt recognize the problem, and take him right there to a hospital (even though he probably wouldnt let us). Those are all my little griefs. But Grief is often rooted in Love and Affection. At least this Grief is. I am sad, because so many people lost something wonderful. It is a blessing to have had the wonderful at all.

Over the river and through the woods

I heard you can get to IHOP by going down to the end of our street, and walking through the woods. Danielle and I went for it, and it was an adventure.

The first issue is, our neighborhood seems to be the last (if ever) set of streets to be plowed or salted. This meant that as we walked up and down hills, we were mostly on ice, or packed snow. This was a drag, and hard to do. Add pregnancy, and a dog who is SO excited to be on a walk, and we had quite a work out.


Then we found the woods. We started walking down these little trails, and there was lots of snow, as it doesnt melt down there under all the trees etc... We let Zebulun off his leash, and he became the worlds happiest dog. He was in the woods, running around, showing us everything. You can tell that he is a hunting dog, and comes from a family of dogs that is meant to be outside running around.


There is our fearless Zeb leading the way. It is hard to describe his behavior, only he would dart all around, then look back to make sure we were there. Then he would race off again, and find something to investigate. Thats my pregnant babe trudging up hill. We ended up going up quite a long hill at the end, and found ourselves in someones backyard!


We came across a car! Someone drove this thing down this hill, and left it. It is old enough that all the rubber and seats and such is decayed. We didnt find any bodies (we dont look for those things) or money (we look for those things)


My lovely wife made it the whole way. I am now convinced I NEED my motorcycle here to help me with this. Had I lived in this house as a kid, I would have been on my bicycle, and in these trees all the time. I dont know how much trouble I would have gotten into, as opposed to the trouble I did anyway, but man would it have been fun!

Movies are fun

I always wanted to try and give a picture of our house and the snow. This is the best I can get. Some people have already gone up and down the street, but it shows our pretty street, and the snow.

Just after this, Danie left. She backed out the driveway, and she made a mistake, she started turning to point her nose up the street. Once you do that, if you are unsuccessful, you are stuck, and up for another adventure like I had earlier. She slid, the wheels spun, but thanks to her years of experience, and subtlety (and lack of brash, unrestrained personality) she made it. but barely. Today is going to be fun watching the people slide.

Why we love Christina

We love Christina!! It is hard to explain, but it is like a combination of all sorts of things you would love, coming to live at your house. She has been gone for too long, and is coming back today. She will get no rest, Im sure of it.

right before she left, she was getting sick, so we made some carrot juice, and ground up a few small cloves of garlic. She went for it, and it was really funny. I didnt capture the actual deep shudder that happened, but this still gets kind of the fun of it.

Shade of things to come

Christmas Part 2

Off to Cincinnati. North, East, then unfortunately West for about 20 minutes. Missed a turn off, and toured Indianapolis for a bit. We went to a mall that poses as a church and watched an awesome production called "Awaited". It was truly touching. The music was fantastic, and the concept and story was very well done. I cried through most of it, and found it difficult to not sob.



I caught up on some reading. Im finding myself reading books I have read a long time ago. I didnt remember this one until I read it that day. I fell asleep, and Danie tried to catch a picture of me. Eating Sausage and Cheese balls, fudge, and
Pringles is catching up with me.

Within the first 5 minutes of waking up, I made Ava cry (she looked at me from across the hall). I seem to be keeping up my current habit of scaring children.





This is Chuckles. She is the newest Norwood baby that any of us seem to care about (I might be wrong about that, but you have to ask Danielle). She is probably the most easy going baby I have seen since her older sister, which is hard to imagine. This kids gets shipped all over the room any time she is awake. Sometimes, we make a lot of noise just to wake her up so we can go in and get her.


she simple turned around, and like a mack truck, beeped and backed up until she found IsraelsThis is a picture of Israel and Chuckles. You wills ee throughout the whole process most pictures of Israel include at least one kid. Israel has always been a baby magnet. Kids love her, and it makes perfect sense to any of us that know her. She usually has one kid on one hip or more. I hear that as soon as Ava saw her, lap, and then sat down. Compare that with my experience!


I found all the girls on the bed playing with babies and kids as soon as I left it. The girls basically need a ride to go somewhere, so I drive them, and then they wait for me to leave so they can have fun playing together. I tried to get the camera in time, but Angela and Leah were in there too, but scooted out right before I came for evidence.
Poor Ava! She has been invaded. It took her a day or so to catch up with us. She has now decided she isnt sure about all of us, however she is confident we will in fact leave at some point, so therefore she can enjoy us. She is benevolent with her favor, and holds court from either her high chair, or a specifically chose lap.








And of course presents. My kids made out like bandits, and so did I! Danielle navigated the maze of who does what and buys for whom. Thats (L-R) Israel, Maria, Judah, Angela, Ava, and Leah.

Tomorrow there is something like 70+ people on the Egbers side (Mom Wheeler) coming to somewhere. All I know is I brought my IHOP approved ear plugs, an appetite, an attitude, and my fish oil so I can remember everyone.

Christmas all week long

We started at our house (which in itself is truly a gift). Grandma and Grandpa Henry sent us a big box with lots of stuff








Then we had a fun gift where Grandma Henry got the girls matching tops, notice Huckleberry's laid out over the belly. Looks like it should fit, but we dont know if the big girls will outgrow theirs before Huck gets here!

God forbid we ever get a pool table

My Dad bought a pool table. And it looks like this. All his wifes craft stuff is on it. I might have that to look forward to!

Snow Day Part Deux

Our hill that gave me fits in the car is also great for sledding. Neighbors, Dads, snow. I found out as I was about to get the hose and turn the street into a semi vertical ice rink that I could go to jail, so I relented.

As well, Israel did some shoveling of the driveway! She did a good job!

Snow Day

An interesting thing happenned. It actually really snowed. Not just the little flurries we had before Thanksgiving, but a good decent snow, for a whole day or 2.


Everythin was great, except it was a Saturday. and I guess snowplows dont run then, or the salt trucks, etc... So after 4-5 hours of driving up and down our street, we had about 3/4" of ice, covered by a little snow. This is the view up our street.


As Iw as coming home with Judah, right about where that silver car is on the right, I realized I was not going to be able to stop completely. That was a problem, because I needed to make the turn into here (Imagin you are standing in the road, and turn to your right to see our driveway):

I thought having 20 feet would help, but as my tires turned to the left, and nothing happenned, I realized I had a problem (Now turn to the right again):


I made it down to the corner, and turned around. At that point I made it about half way up the hile, and something even worse happenned. Dorothy, The Dodge Caravan, couldnt go up the hill! Now I am in an even worse position. I am facing uphill, but I cannot go anywhere. MY car is beginning to slide backwards, and getting crooked. Behind me is a parked car.

I tell Judah, "Hop out of the car" but as I do, she opens the car door, and the van starts moving! I scream "Get back in the car, Stay in the car". I now realize Im in pretty bad shape. I am at a 45 degree angle, facing uphill, with a parked car behind me. I put the van in park, and it seems to hold!

I get out, and I push the back of the van sideways trying to get it stright. I think it might have moved a little, because all of a sudden it is sliding. At this point, Im not in the car that is crooked facing uphill that cannot stop completely, but my daughter is! As the car door hit my shins (I got hit with my own car) I hopped in. At that point, I realized I simple had to go for it. I had to use momentum, and hope I got some traction somewhere. I actually got totally sideways, and was able to turn around completely before I hit the car. I pulled the car over to the side of the road (It is in front of that Bronco).

At that point, adrenaline and God only knows what else released, and I felt a lot better. Until I heard these words:

"Daddy, you said a bad word back there"....

Odd thoughts

This picture is from 7-6-06. Theres my kids, and Danie came out to KC, along with Jason coming with us. We were visiting, Danie was visiting from somewhere else. We had no idea all the things that were going to occur in the next 18 months.


Now we live here. And Fridays are "Deep Clean" days where the girls really help get the monster house.




We have a dog, in OUR OWN backyard, and he loves the snow.


It just always neat to stop and think about it, and be overwhelmed.

The View around my House

I am a blessed man. That is obvious.

However, no one ever comes up to me and says "We looked at you, and realize how blessed you are...". They look at my life, and then they say it. They look at the people in it, the character of them, and the grace and then they say "WOW, such a burden!!!!"


This is the view from my front door last night. It might not look to you like much, until you realize the context. I like using italics today. Anyhow... There are 5 girls there.

1. Danielle, who has become the worlds best homemaker already, while juggling a job with a disorganization, gestating a baby, helping me try to raise 2 awesome girls, and living a life of creative arts.

2. Israel "Beba" Henry, who is in the pre-teen experience of her life, making friends, being crazy, laughing, and texting like mad.

3. Judah "Boomer" Henry, who is the master of media, and has more ideas than a think tank on red bull.

4. Christina "Chrissy" Ortega, who has become the house pastor helping us learn the roots of our faith, a big sister to the girls, and a best friend to Danie all the while working, praying, and cultivating a spiritual life in a house full of coming and going. See her blog for Hanukkah video.

5. Huckleberry Henry, who is fermenting like mad, kicking, rolling, and making her mommy a little nervous that this might be the last of any sense of consistency she will ever have until the physical return of Christ.

Im not really sure what they are all doing, except for viewing pictures Christina took. The point is, they are like a private flash mob. At any point, they can suddenly, intuitively gather together, around a common and seemingly random object, and next thing I know I walk into a meeting of girls, on the kitchen floor, talking up a storm, with lots of words like "Cute", "Awesome", "AHHHHHH!", "Darling" etc.... and then just as quick, they disperse into the house and act as if nothing ever happened.

My job in this house is rather minimal. Im getting some chores assigned by the boss. I get to enjoy the kids, make food, show up at Hebrew Celebrations, and work in "The Dungeon". As the token male, they all recognize me with some sort of patronizing, benevolent attention, but Zeb and I know who really runs the ship, and we are just glad we are on it.

We know where our blessings come from, and how much we have. All you have to do is come over to my house, and walk in. You will see something like this almost every day. That is a blessing. To see "my girls" all abuzz, being silly, learning, being themselves, enjoying each other. I am blessed. I am blasted blessed.

Tragedy at the Henrys!!!!!!!!!!!

Zeb caught and killed his BUDDY!!!! It is awful/ I was working int he basement, and all I heard was the squeak squeak squeak of Buddy Love. Zeb loves his buddy (or so we thought). His favorite thing is to hold his buddy, roll over on his back, and squeak his buddy over and over. He walks around with it in his mouth, he even tries to share his buddy-joy with others.

I realized after a certain point, there was no buddy squeak. I thought nothing of it. Until I turned the corner......



Note the squeaker-heart torn out, and brutally left there for all to see. It took me 3 hours of inner healing prayer to get this image out of my head.



Im not even sure Cesar, The Dog Whisperer could help! I just dont know what to do. We are seriously thinking of walking him to Shiloh, and letting him run wild. We hope the ducks and birds will satisfy this monsterous cruel heart, or that maybe he can find a cast iron buddy.

Winter everywhere

Had our first ice storm. Over hte last week, I have learned how to slide through intersect...ummm drive in winter conditions. We had snow, then it melted a little. Then we had ice. Then we had an ice storm last night that is essentially rain when its freezing. This means everything is covered by sheets of ice.

It wasnt as bad here as they feared, however, it sounds like it was horrible almost everywhere else. We have no power at my house this morning,a nd I am at my new office, Dunn Brothers. Hopefully this is just temporary, but the phone guy earlier this week scared the crud outta me when he said the last big ice storm they had the whole neighborhood had no power for 10 days, and only McDonalds was open, and it was 2 1/2 hours for a cheeseburger.

Other things are going well. The kids are doing great at The Daniel Academy. Christina Ortega moved in, and that is just the best thing. We have done Chanukah eveyr night, and we are learning a lot about the roots of our faith, even though it isnt a biblical feast/holiday.

Huckleberry is getting bigger all the time,a nd mommy is starting to feel it. Danie is the cutest pregger person, but I can tell it is starting to get real. Im not pregnant, but I look like it. I am also really busy all of a sudden, and we hope that is a good thing but it is changing our lifestyle a lto more than expected.

Its butt cold

This si when the decision to walk the dog becomes silly. And leaving him outside for too long is super silly....

Judah Lion

We went to California for Judahs 10th B-Day. As Beba says "It takes a long time to turn double digits!".

We stayed at GMa and GPas house using it a base of operations while we tried to see as many of her friends as possible.








GMa and GPa gave Judah a complex lego kit that is from Star Wars. All of us figured this would be something Judah would enjoy and give her something to do for the day. In 60 minutes she was finished. Therefore she is a Lego-Jedi.



She also got Heelies which she has wanted for years. The sad story is her mom bought them for her but made her wait until her B-Day to get them. The night before we left she got them and was so excited. However they were much too small and lots of tears happened with Danie and I almost joining in. Thankfully we got to Calif and found a store with them and she was off and heelin with GPa helping. You cannot hear her in this picture but she was talking so much I wasnt sure she could hellie and talk at the same time. My bad....


Dad and I had to bottle the wine and we got Judah involved. She turned into the best helper ever. My Dad called her an auto-optimizer because as she did things she would arrange her tasks in the most intuitively efficient way and ended up helping us a lot. Heck GPa even gave her 20 bucks for being so helpful. Her she is helping sanitize the wine bottles. Again she can do all this and carry on a good conversation. She is amazing.

I love my Judah Lion so much It has been great just me and her on the plane and hanging out here. I am so impressed by her and she is such a passionate excited vibrant person. Everything turns into an excuse for a party with Judah and anyone around her is always better off. So many prophetic words about her from different people talk about how she is made to be not boring because God s boring and these pictures of adventures and excitement. That is her. I think God gave her to us simply to show us how excited He is and how much He loves having fun I miss my Big , My Bigger (although it will soon be unclear who is taller Danie or Beba) and my micro , even my dog. I feel ready to go home.

This is the first time I have ever “visited” California. I was driving around and went on autopilot and actually headed back to our old house. Everything looks so familiar here that my mind went into auto but as I drove around it didnt feel familiar any longer. I know where everything is but it isnt where I live right now. I got to see a few good friends and enjoy them and when we left it was sad. But it is an odd feeling of knowing you are going back home when for 37 years you have lived where you are leaving.

This New House

Well we finally slept in our new house last night. The Cutest Wife in the world has been hard at work nesting, and 90% of everything we own is there, much more of it is arranged than anyone would think, and we actually slept there.

We feel blessed and excited. There has been so much provision and help in this, from earthly and spiritual fathers, to friends and strangers who are now friends.

The next step is going through and unpacking everything. We have moved 3 times in the last 6 weeks, and part of me is scared to get rid of our boxes! As we unpack, there is a great ability to rearrange things, and put them away in ways that make life more easy.

In our family, when I have money, I go buy Kitchen Stuff, Danie buys Craft Stuff. Because Im older and bigger and we all have to eat, I got more stuff. Our Kitchen is fairly big, and it is already full. I have to go through all of it and figure out where I will do prep work,a nd where things need to be. Im already considering a remodel!!

Danie even has a room for the Baby. However, in my mind, babies stay with Moms and Dads until they are sleeping through the night all the time. This means we will have about a year of an empty room, and she is going to use it for a craft room etc... but I hope to convince her to bring all her stuff down to "my" room in the basement.

Danie and I have an odd life we figured out once. We spend a lot of time together. pretty much all day. And when the kids are here, all of us are on top of each other. Im used to it, and I like it. It got the point here in KC where Danie and I were finding ourselves sitting across from each other at tables in Panera Bread or at home or Higher Ground or Dunn Bros working on stuff regularly. I got so used to it, when she goes somewhere I get all confused. So Im hoping to lure her into the basement so when I work, she is doing her crafts.

The poor Dog! Every time the s leave, he gets sad. Really sad. Like a puppy who lost his little s. After he realizes they arent coming back today, he mopes around, and goes up to their room and lays down on their beds or their CLOTHES (that I told them to put away) and snuggles his nose into whatever smells like them, and does the sad puppy dog eyes at any passerby.

He got really excited last night when I took him over to the new house. Immediately he ran around, and then bolted up to the kids room. The door was closed, but I think he realized the kids werent there, but he was hoping they were!

Danielle and I were talking about how hard it will be for HuckleBerry when she is 2-3 years old and her favorite people in the world leave for a few days at a time. Oy Vey. Maybe she will have Zeb to commiserate with, if 2 year olds in fact do commiserate.

Turkey Day in a microscope

Prophetic vs. Sentimental

We went last night and saw August Rush with the kids, and some friends, and their kids. I have come immediately to terms with a few things...

1. It is ridiculous that you can go to a movie with a certain rating, and see previews for any movie with a higher rating. I went to a PG movie, and saw previews for PG-13 movies.

2. It isnt comfortable to see previews in a theater, because I cannot fast forward them, or skip them. At one point, all the Bohlender Boys, myself, and my kids all simultaneously turned our eyes to the side during a makeout scene involving a woman in her underwear.

The other thing that really struck me is that the BEST humans can come up with is sentimentality. At times, they transcend into myth, and those myths ultimately, if they are stirring the heart, eventually have their root in Gods heart or design. But for the most part, humans are anesthetized by a regular dose of sentimentality.

I, by the Grace and Mercy of God, know God. Not as well as I like, but better I realize at times. By definition, Im also prophetic because I am a born again believer who has received the Spirit who now lives in me communicating God both to me, and in miraculous situations (due to His ability to override my flesh) even through me.

I have met scores and scores of people like me. They all have a story of how and when God did what and how, and in hindsight how profound and powerful it was that He could connect the dots. How life changing it was, how awesome and awe inspiring, and how deeply it touched our heart. Heck, it just happenned last week.

So you go see a movie, and you need to realize that more often than not, some human, with a gift for writing, conjures up the best of human experience, and writes something out. And the result is PABLUM. In fact, it is dangerous because if you arent aware of it, you begin to have the majority of your profound experiences of the heart via 3rd party, fake, sentimental experiences that are of human (hopefully) origin.

This is really a problem. You become "In Love with Love". Not In Love itself, but in Love with the feeling of Love, or heartbroken by the experience of heartbrokeness. Your heart is fed a steady diet of junk food experience, and all of it is at best vicarious, and at worst completely unconnected to reality (such as a movie).

At the same time, symbolism, art, imagery, when God ordained, Spirit led, or even just honestly inspiried, transcends simple experience, and draws upon the Spirit itself. It causes the longing of a human heart to manifest, and have a true answer, all in the same experience. It is EDIFYING
more than UPLIFTING.

See, I know God. So silly little cathartic scense like Good Will Hunting dont do it for me. A little tiny come to the truth scene on a movie doesnt compare with a drop down, drag out, crying from the depths of your soul until your stomach muscles are sore encounter with God who explains to you that He has known you your whole life, and hurts and aches with pain over your circumstances. Then you KNOW the Truth. You experience it spirit, soul, and body.

It doesnt have to be soap operas like mine have been, but it goes WAY past an emotional experience. It is an encounter. An unless you see that authentic spirit in something else, all I find myself doing is yawning. Im not jaded, quite the opposite. Im hungry, and I have eaten meat, and baby food sentimental emotion is a waste of my time.

Thank God for His Grace!!!!

Turkey Results Pt 1

Well thankfully, it was a fairly good success. I learned a LOT, and realized later I should have done it by myself first, then cooked for other people.

I used 2 small turkeys, 10 pounders. They were Deistel turkeys, with no brining in them at purchase etc... these are different than other turkeys as the arent injected with brine, arent raised to be super fat, etc...

The first one I put in the oil at 300F. At first, it really seemed as if my thermometer was 20-30 degrees off! The weather was about 25-30 degrees, a little bit of wind. It took about 45 mins for the oil to get hot,a s I couldnt see the flame, and was nervous about how the oil would heat up, so I started slow, and increased the flame until it got to 300.

I out the first turkey in, and didnt have enough oil to completely cover. About 1/4-1/2 inch low. I let it run like that for a bit, and then added more oil after I saw the temp come up. I had a difficult time getting the oil over 300, and ended up opening the valve and carb all the way. It finally got to about 320. I think with the cold weather, and the lack of heat in the beginning, momentum was against me.

I noticed the oil temp pick up quite a bit, which gave me the indicator that the turkey was about half way done. I backed the heat off a little to make sure I didnt cross 325-350. I pulled the turkey and temped it in the breast, and then where the thigh and the breast meetm whcih should be the last place to hit temp.

My plan was to pull at 151, and let it finish to 160-161. My first readings were low, so I put it back in for 5 minutes, and then pulled again. I actually dropped my thermometer in the oil! Deep Fried Thermo.

I had to go another 5 minutes or so, and found that my breat temp was 160! The thigh was 150. I pulled it, and then put the next turkey in.

The first turkey did have a slightly pink section at the fron of the breat. Im betting a few things happened:

1. Turkey was not thawed as much as I thought.
2. Oil wasnt high enough, and that was the section that wasnt 100% covered the whole time.
3. Turkey cooked unevenly because of above theories. Some of the breast meat was a little dry, as was some of the dark. some of the white meat was a little under, although to be honest I KNOW it was over 140 for a long enough time, it would have been great to keep it aside and use it for leftovers because reheateing would cook it perfect.

With the second turkey, I ed the heat from the beginning, and was able to keep the oil at 320-325. This bird cooked a lot faster (about 20-25 mins actually vs 30-35 mins for first bird, I forgot to measure exactly). I pulled it about 5 minutes after I saw the temps going up, checked it a little low, and then put it back in for about 5 mins. I pulled it,a nd this one was on 150-151 in the thigh, 160 in the breast.

The second turkey was much more evenly cooked, and juicy. My thoughts on this one are:

1. Turkey sat out for about 15 mins while other one cooked. A little more thawing.
2. Oil was completely covering and hot BEFORE it was inserted.
3. I cooked it faster.

One odd thing was the sin was MEGA crispy at first, but then softened up. I dont know why that is.

Next time Im going to try a 15 pounder, and get the heat at 350.
Im also going to build some wind blocks around the base both to keep wind from messing with the flame, but also to make it a little darker so I can see the flame and adjust it better.

It was suggested, and I agree, that we have a deep frying party. Everyone brings something to dip, and we go for it, kind of like Cajun Fondue. In fact, we might call it FunDue.

Another idea was to go to BurningMan, and bring lots of fishing poles. We sit in a circle, and put fish sticks on the end (with wire) and drop them in, then reel them out. It will be called "Deep Fat Fishing".

In relation to a prior post Pt II

Mr Bohlender posted a fair warning for his street and anyone West of Holmes and North of Red Bridge.

We fry today. We fry in one of the only devices in common household use without a UL approval.

My first attempt to get the turkey ready on Monday freaked me out, and I had to go buy some more yesterday. I was afraid my frozen turkey thawed to more than 40 degrees F, without my realizing it. The main problem with this is that certain bacteria begin to grow between 40-140F, and I dont intend to overcook my bird. However, what freaked me out worse was the finding that certain bacteria product heat resistant toxins that wont go away no matter how hard you cook it.

It is too much risk. I literally work up at 4:10 am Wednesday, and tested the temp. It was 41 degrees. That is probably ok, but I have no idea how warm it got before I added ice etc...

So we bought 2 10 pounders, with the intention of bringing one, and leaving one standard and trying them. As I was under the gun, I quick thawed them both CORRECTLY (cold water), and tossed them in my 5 gallon drink cooler. They read 38 degrees ambient brine temp, and the underside of the bird was 30 degrees. Possibly still frozen a little, however the unique properties of salt lowering the freezing temp of water might mean it is thawed, just REAL cold.

I was going to cook the first bird anyhow (it is still in the backyard covered in ice) and test it to see if the voice in myhead was divine or not. I honestly felt like I was warned. As I pondered testing it on myself to see if I was right, I heard another voices say "Youre going to be sorry"

Oh well. I was so stupd I didnt throw it away on trash day (wednesday!) So now I get a week of stinky turkey carcass. I hope it stays real cold this week.


Will post pics and description for anyone interested, and my new Daniel Academy students.

I am really thankful

It really isn't cliche to stop and be thankful today. IT is a GREAT excuse to remind oneself, almost a discipline as it were.

It is obvious what Im mostly thankful for. If I could boil it down to the thing behind the thing, it is all about Gods goodness as expressed in His Will. Simply put, He has never let up on me. My whole life is now balancing on the historical fact, and the future hope/confidence that He will simply not relent in my life.

Via that Perfect Will, all these good things have come. God does not have one intention towards me that will ever not be completely good. When we say all things are possible with God, or with God all things are possible, we dont realize some things are impossible for God to do.

He cannot EVER think, intend, act or succeed in doing anything for me or to me that is anything other than good.

And all the "bad" has either been my rebellion, my brokenness, or others. Even some of the bad, in hindsight, wasnt. It was God taking things away from me that were hurting or even me.

All the details of this goodness, all the outworkings of it, those are facts evident in my life. I couldnt list all of them, and to broadcast some of them are to reduce them down into a list.

But it is still a great thing to stop, think about it, thank God for it, and enjoy it.

The Turkey Derrick

In response to an anonymous comment, here is the link my Food Jedi developed.



I am unworhty, and will not be able to duplicate this, so I plan on using teenagers.

Fry Turkey Fry

Alton Brown is probably the only mentor I have truly had. I am attempting to fry Turkey Thursday.

This is why I want to be careful....

Sometimes YouTube pays off

I love this. I dont know why.

God is not generous...

All I can say is prepare yourself. I had a wild encounter with Holy Spirit this week. Interspersed with crying, laughing, and screaming came the reality that generous is too small a word for God. In fact, while from my human perspective it makes sense, it isnt correct.

Although I do believe God is generous, I think I misunderstand it when He is, and when He is doing something else.

It is safe to say my kids have been rocked by attending a few sessions of The Daniel Academy. That might be an understatement.

And God has seemed to provide a way not only to attend it, but to provide financially. At that point when I realized it, I simply just got overwhelmed. I didnt know what to say or think. All I could do is play catch up with my spirit and say "Thank you God for your generosity, and your..." and I was stopped pretty short.

I cannot say I heard the clear voice of God in my ears, I dont normally anyhow. But I can tell you that what came very clear to me was something very close to a feeling that can be paraphrased in the following words:

"I am NOT being generous here. I am releasing MY PROVISION, to do MY THING, for MY PURPOSES to accomplish MY WILL. When I decide to do something, I PAY FOR IT MYSELF".
As I began to catch up with this, and then all the obvious implications and examples of this such as Jesus Christ on the Cross, manna, miracles, etc... I began to realize I was thinking in far too small a concept about God.

And as this reality began to trickle into my conscious thought, all sorts of other facets and dimensions of information came too. They came in parallel, so I was basically screaming and then crying and then laughing a different points trying to receive so much. I must either be very slow, or God is very gene... never mind.

Anyhow it became clear my kids needed to be here. Tracie Loux said it to me "Oh, you realized you are here for your kids too. It took us 2 days to realize it". Took me 4 weeks.

Not only is it important for them to be here, it is important for Huckleberry (the new one coming) to be here. God has ordained it, for His own purposes, to accomplish His Will, and provided all that was needed, from changing peoples hearts to providing money.

We can talk like this all the time, but to have Him tell it to me straight away was another thing. I have a new faith right now. I almost feel as if I have a spiritual credit card. God gave it to me to use, and when I am confident I am using it for His purposes, for His Will, I can exercise it.

There is other dimensions to this. Like the reality that my children are mine. It is my delight, but also my prerogative to provide for them. I get the privilege, and the right to do this because they have been given to me. If I decide and/or request my children to do something, it is both my prerogative to support and provide for it, but it is also my OBLIGATION.

I could even use the cool term noblesse oblige because to my rank, the honorable and responsible action for me, not another, to provide for my own wishes.

How much more God?

I dont take this as an opportunity to reduce God down to an ATM. FAR FROM IT! What it does (in my heart at least( is forces me to realize how perfect, responsible, trustworthy, righteous etc... God is. He doesnt expect someone else to pick up after Him. He owns everything. No one else gets the credit for providing anything. No one will claim at any point "I did this part here God when you didnt provide for x and y so I loaned you some of my..."

And because His rank is THE HIGHEST, He obligates Himself to the HIGHEST. He save me by paying for it, sanctifies me by His own Spirit, entrusts me to work by His own Authority, and completes it all by His own Grace.

There are lots more things to think about in this, such as no wonder things suck when I am not found in His Will. It requires so much work and toil and such, Im simply not able to fulfill it. No wonder sin has such tremendous consequence. No wonder it is impossible without His Spirit.

No wonder I am here... Now... in light of all this, what is God doing for YOU? What provision is coming down the way for YOU?? If He not only loves me this much, but out of His own High rank and honor provides whatever I need to do His thing, what is He called you to do and wants to provide for?

Girls Part 3

I have found out I am hurtling headlong into the "estrogen ocean" as Jeff Foxworthy says. The newest Henry is a... duh!

I must say, Im fairly confident with s. I have had a crash course in it, and came out better off. Yeah GOD!!

It is hard for me to imagine how God can make another s as awesome as Beba and Boomer. It will be simply amazing to experience.

Can you imagine what it would be like to be born with a 13 year old sister like Israel? This is a walking baby magnet. I have honestly never seen someone who can attract children like her. And what a role . Israel is/has become such a fantastic kid sure, but more than that, she is a good example. It is almost like my newest baby will get a chance to have her own Katie Mae in the house, like Israel had. I can remember watching Katie Mae playing "Super Beba" int he living room with Israel on a yoga ball. Israel was surrounded by an older sister type, who to this day, is still a tremendous role and influence.

And what kid wouldnt be rocked with a Judah Lion around? A wild, fearless, creative kid that can stop at a moments notice, put underwear on her head, 3 different color socks, a hat, and inside out pants and dance around the house singing "One of these kids is not like the other one".

And then a mother like Danielle. What kid wouldnt want her for a mom? She has already demonstrated so much character and class, besides self sacrifice, in being with us. Im serious when I say I have never seen anything like her, and the benefit my family has already had by being together with her is enormous. I have had more time with my kids, had more help understanding them and changing my behavior, learning to enjoy them... I just cannot factor all the parts and explain them . She is finally getting a very little belly, but it is growing almost daily. Mine is too!

So its just me and Zeb representing testosterone. And unfortunately for me (and Zeb) he just got snipped last week, so we are kind of at a deficit. But we will manage. Last night I took him outside, and after he "got busy", I told him "Come on buddy, lets go back inside". He stopped and looked at me. Then I said "Come on, we got to go take care of the s and put them all to bed", then he perked up, and led the way back inside and up the stairs. Hes a good dog, and he knows what he needs to do.

So here we are, the tide is rising. Thankfully next week we move into our new house. It is huge, bugger than anything I have lived in before I think. We just increased our potty capacity by a factor of 2.5, and have extra rooms for storming off in a fit. Not that Ill need that of course...

"Now I know why we moved to Kansas City"

I heard this in the car yesterday. The person who said it was 12, and I think we all kind of came to that realization as well...

We just came back from an exploratory trip here. We get a special dispensation of Grace and will be allowed to join this group of wild, fun, organic, build this boat at sea group of marvelous comrades. All I can say is I knew it would be neat, I had no clue it would be so powerful.

At one point, I was in Judahs class, sitting in and trying to get a picture of what we need to do to get caught up to jump in the second semester. Immediately, the 2 other young s at the table began warming up to Judah. Now, Judah is wild, she is outgoing, and she is exuberant. But most people dont realize she is also a little shy! It is quite cute, but a little surprising if you didn't know it. These s, Sara and Jessica, without asking or being prompted, offer their bibles, their money, their supplies etc... to Judah to use. Judah sat there almost catatonic! I was almost crying. These were absolutely the warmest children I have ever met. Within an hour, Judah had memorized the bible verse, and was coloring, and I had to tell her to be quite 3 times. PERFECT.

During this process. Danie was with Israel. I send a text message (a no no except Im a new) with the word "Status?" in it. I get back "All these s are flocking around Israel talking to her" or something like that. The next one is "Im so happy I could cry". After about the forst hour, I go over there to see.

I walk into a large room, with this lady at the helm. There are 40-50 kids, and they are going around the room sharing what God is doing in their heart. It is obvious that the right people are in the right places organizing this. After a while, Danie goes over to Judahs class, and I stay with Beba. We listen to all these kids wrestle with being teens, wanting God, living in a hyper charged atmosphere like IHOP, some of whom have either grown up on, or been involved in missions work etc... and you realize "Im in SCHOOL".

We end by praying and asking God to come and do something like HE did in Acts, and finish by praying for a young who needs a creative miracle. It was similar to a mosh pit by the end, the whole mess of them rocking and swaying and yelling in tongues, against the devil, at God in petition, at her body,

On the way put, we have a few interesting conversations, I meet a young man I have been watching for weeks who God has got PLANS for, stumble to the car, and drive off.

And on the way to lunch, my kids said it all... "Now I know why we moved to Kansas City"

I guess I do too.

Were off to the races...err school

We just had our meeting with the powers that be at The Daniel Academy. It is hard to describe this school, but the word "ORGANIC" fairly screams at me. It is delightful, crazy, bursting with life, and all the things that come out of life.

We are honored because in exchange for our involvement teaching there, we are being allowed to join mid year. It has become clear to us we simply cannot accommodate our kids needs for connection with other kids on a consistent basis without involvement in something fairly structured. On top of that, the intent and the curriculum as well as the environment is so surperior to anything I have been able to consider that it is worth the cost and effort.

The main point (that I can tell) is equipping kids for their calling via the educational requirements needed for our modern American societal mindset with a solid, biblical paradigm. This preparation come mainly through a curriculum that is centered around Daniels example in Scripture; prayer, worship, fasting, excellence and service. The context for this instruction is heavily social, i.e. among "excellent comrades", Daniel had his fellow exiles, and they went through their own trials as well. This created a tremendous camaraderie that facilitated the success and fulfillment of Daniels calling and impact.

This is a great opportunity for us as a family, and a real kiss from God. We get to do this because we/I am teaching a culinary arts class!! LOL. I cannot wait to see how much fun we can get ourselves into. It will be for High School and another for Jr High on Thurs afternoon. We dont know about a kitchen, so a lot is instruction and I will have to figure out how to do demonstration. Im hoping to include a lot of field trips and maybe work from our house for the cooking. This is a great opportunity to work with kids, help them, encourage them, and EAT!!!

Im intrigued by the intensity this school has generated. The story is amazing, and many people across the world are interested in using the . I hope I can help grow the organization in a way that allows everyone to fulfill their calling, and shape the next gen of precious children here in KC.

Updates... and Auntie Michelle!!!

Things are going well out here. Weller than Im able to process. If I shared it all, it would sound odd, and probably not mean as much to anyone else as to me/us, but suffice to say it is well.

We went to our 4pm intercession set yesterday. The s and Danielle and I have made a commitment to go. We have filled out our GodTv prayer guides, and we dig in. People dont realize how hard it is to pray for 2 hours straight for everything else but yourself!! LOL.

We actually stayed for about an hour. By the time the first session ended, at about the 45 minute mark, Judah, who had been rocking forward and back on her 2 feet, praying very loudly (although I couldnt hear the actual words), semi-collapsed in her chair, and said "WHEW, Im tired!!". No kidding!!! She had been yelling and praying and speaking life over her list, and I have no clue how many lives just got altered because she asked God to do a LOT of stuff. Take her imagination, mix it with anointed atmosphere, and give her some stimulus (music, lights, people) and you have something that is quite powerful. If Hurricane Leah and Jenai Dreger were here, I think the rest of us wouldnt have to pray, they would take care of it for us.

Israel has been growing in many ways, but they arent as obvious, but still very powerful. I believe God is beginning to use her intuitive, and sensitive aspects of her heart and speaking through it. It is more of an under the surface thing, but only God truly knows all the subtleties of my lovely . I think it might be He even hides some of it just to keep for Himself, and she is beginning to change in so many ways.

Danielle is getting a very little belly! We find out what Huck is (well we know what Huck is... a baby human, but dingle or no dingle via ultrasound next Friday). Danielle is a tremendous woman, and most people tell me that regularly. She is so productive, in such a chaotic environment for her. She has done so much, for so many, with so little. Most of you are already aware of this, but to live with such a Godly example has helped teach me and shape things in me. She is really a leader to me in so many ways, and yet she is never ting or controlling, but very thoughtful and considerate.

Im rolling along, picking up speed. Im intimidated about some changes coming with work, as it looks as if I am about to get much, much more busy than I anticipated. With that comes more resources, which is something we really want. Im going to have a food budget bigger than my mortgage because we are having so much fun the few times we have had people over for food. Our new house is almost ready for us to move into (3 weeks early!!) but we might not actually move until after Thanksgiving.

I have some opportunities to get involved with real estate that are unreal, and Im a little overwhelmed. I wasnt thinking inner city landlord type stuff, but the scenarios look really good for us to either do that, or some thing around here. I believe we need to transition our income out of direct software over the next 10 years, and that is both daunting and exciting.

God is moving around here. Being here almost 4 weeks straight has shown me some of the reality of IHOP. It is still a tremendous place, and God is moving so strongly here. But it isnt that far off when people like Mike Bickle say "Our very weak expression of the prayer movement here in Kansas City". It is lovely, and great, but shocking to the flesh to realize how much God is actually doing because we cannot, and probably never will be able to do. If we were able, He wouldnt be needed.

It is somewhat of an assault to the flesh how unnecessary it really is to night and day prayer. Your flesh (body etc...) is good for getting you to the prayer room, but worthless once inside it. Unanointed prayer still counts! But without the Spirit of prayer, it is wooden. And sometimes I can actually perceive the resistance grow, and dissipate. But you keep showing up, because more often than not it is great, and periodically, it is dramatic.

Aunti Michelle is here for the Joseph Company summit! One of the best friends of my life has come here, and the s are going crazy waiting to get to see her. She is even staying at Katchens house, so friends with friends, does it get any better?

We miss many people. We are close to manipulating and guilt tripping Jason to come here, and find ourselves getting restrained from cursing his job and house to make him have to move. We miss our friends in California via the Dregers gatherings, and the Phillips family, along with many others. It is surreal to be so busy and excited, and find place of the heart hurting for its friends.

Off the Ihop.

What IHOP does for Halloween-Millenium Practice

I wish my picture came out....

Some groups trick or treat. I personally refuse to participate in Halloween. Others make "HArvest PArties".

At IHOP, considering the nature of supported missionaries, youth, and overall zaniness...

They go to Chipotle.

We drove by the place, and there was a line around the building. And we recognized 76% ("Thats a made up number!") of them, all in various states of foil decoration.

If you wear foil, you get free food.

So think about the potential. You get to eat out, for free. When Starbucks is a luxury, this deal is a precursor to the New Millenium. "Those who have no meny come and buy" kind of thing, but in real life, and instead of milk and honey, it is beans, onions, pork, sour cream, and guac.

It was hillarious.

What do I despise????

Thank goodness for the IHOP, and the faithful people who show up and keep pushing. I am looking forward to more and more of my heart opening up and being able to stay connected and hungry so I can be counted among these nameless and faceless ones.

Getting the I got something stuck in the back of my mind, kind of like how you get something stuck in one of your back teeth, during either a worship with the word set, or someones faithful prayer.

Hebrews 12:2 (NIV)
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

The part for me here is SCORNING

Other versions use slightly different words:

DESPISING (Darby Young (a favorite of mine), NAS,
DISREGARDING (NRSV)

This is just stuck in me. Scorning, Despising, Disregarding are all active. It isn't an afterthought. The way Holy Spirit is showing my heart about it is

Hold on a second. I just started crying as I wrote that. God is actually showing me something important to Him, about Himself, and helping me receive it, because He knows I wont even pay attention to Him without His help...

anyway...

God is showing this to me in a way like a picture. I see a bunch of people who have collectively decided that the epitome of shame is to be judged, found guilty, publicly ridiculed, hung naked, and suffer for whatever they judged you for, until you slowly suffocate under tremendous nerve damaged induced pain.

These people, whether knowingly or not, would look at someone on a cross, and feel revolted. Not at the death itself, but what must have put someone there. The death on a cross is bad enough, but if you are one of those people, you must be someone to be scorned, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, etc...

The cross is a symbol as much as an execution method. Out of all the other ways to kill, this exposed more of the suffering and agony to the public than anything due to its very nature... long, tortuous, elevated (literally), in the open area (not in a cell)...

And the picture I get is EVERYONE with a sneer on their face. Mention the cross, and int hat culture, its the full measure of everything people turn away from, and cant stand to look at.

And Jesus walks in, and basically says "All that shame and disgust you associate with what you think this represents is NOTHING TO ME. It isn't just nothing, I DESPISE ALL THE SHAME you associate with this. I TOTALLY DISREGARD your assessment of this, and what it represents. My response to your conclusions is SCORN. It is NOTHING, INSIGNIFICANT. Not only do I not follow your thinking, I am OPPOSED TO IT. It is STUPID THINKING, worthy of SCORN".

Not only does Jesus have totally different values about what we consider worthy of SHAME, He is ACTIVE about it. HE is opposed to it, to the point that the same look and attitude on the faces and in the hearts of people towards HIM, was similar to how HE felt about the SHAME they were projecting on Him.

God HATES shame. He disregards it, scorns it, despises it. Not the people, but definitely the shame.

Now I stop and think, and ask you to think.... What is the object of your shame? Someone Else's behavior? Your own? You yourself?

God doesn't hate you, but He hates the shame in your thinking. He is opposed to it to the extent He will willingly disregard it. The Cross wasn't just a demonstration of Gods heart, it was a flaunting (to principalities and powers even) of Gods disregard about what we place value and shame on.

The only pictures I have are someone with an attitude, flipping someone else off. It is a total disregard of the other thing. I cannot say God is a mocking person etc... but I know of no other way to picture it. God isn't arrogant etc.. but He simply doesn't give a RIP about what you think is shameful. He doesn't play by your rules, and He doesn't ascribe to your values. He loves you so much, but don't confuse the fact that He think like you.

Anyhow, this isn't developed enough, and I'm struggling. I cannot help but think about this, and ask you again... what do you despise? What do you disregard? For me, it is me. I walk around with a sense of shame about myself. Internally, externally, it doesn't matter. Shame is like a molecule floating around looking for other molecules to bond with, and attach itself too. And there are too many things in me that are waiting for it to connect.

But Jesus (and therefore Holy Spirit and Father) hates shame. He doesn't participate in that. He looks at me, and sees His joy. He looks at the Father and sees ultimate joy in obedience and being a blessing to Abba. And in light of that, the shame people attach to their own conclusions is silly to the point of being scorned and disregarded.

I guess as He helps me see joy in Him, and His heart, what people (including myself) attach shame too will not only seem silly, I will oppose it to the point of sacrifice.

Here is what I have so far...

Different people have brought some things to my attention, and Im starting see a thread...

24 hours after getting here to KC, we found ourselve in a prayer meeting with many people, almost none of whom are from California, who are all gathering and preparing with a burden for California. They all either have direct experience, sovereignly, with 9/11, Hurrican Katrina, and the tsunami that hit a few years ago.

We were stunned at both the vision, the burden, and the lack of wild eyed judgement in these people. Many of them are simply grieving about what God is telling them about California. They are all paying their own way to become certified with the federal government, as well as trained inother capacitied in order to be used "inside the yellow tape". Additionally, the favor God is showing them with reagrds to finances, resources, and practical details would shock you. What I picked up during that meeting is a progressive series of "birthing pangs" about to hit California, that will increase in intensity and ferocity over the next 5-10 years. I have yet to discern this, but thatwas what I got.

This is combined with some very heavy words, and prophetic experiences people around IHOP and The Call have had recently that are quite direct.

Then, (in hindsight), we find that around 9 days ago, the Governor of California signed this…

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=58185

essentially creating an atmosphere in public school that has an unbelieveable potential to program and influece children into what many of us beleive to be directly immoral, and broken behavior. I do not personally consider these lifestyles and patterns to be any more sinful than religiosity, jusgementalism, and other things. I do however maintain a vigilance that endorsing any sin is unrighteous, no matter what it is, and these particular scenarios lead to extreme destruction for the individual.

Approximately 3 days later, The Call in Las Vegas happenned. No one I know of is yet praying for judgement. There will be a time that will happen, but I dont know anyone being told by God to do this yet. However, this is a solemn assembly, and repentance and confession is primary to this movement, as well as intercession. This event was technically in Nevada as well. However, according to someone who was present, there was an odd wind that come either in, or around the venue. More on this later...

Las Vegas is on the I-15 highway, which runs south right down into San Diego....

Within a day or so, fires started appearing, and they were primarially (as I understand it) caused by a Santa Ana condition, winds from the desert that are hot, dry, and fairly strong.

The origin of Santa Ana winds can be understood by some as "Devil Winds", which tend to travel down the I-15/215 pass in Cajon.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1915800/posts

However, you could interpret the name "Santa Ana" as "Saint Anne (Ann or Anna, which is a greek variant of Hannah). The idea of Anna is central to the IHOP. Anna was an intercessor who prayed and fasted in the temple, and really has a symbolic connection tot he praqyer movement God is raising up progressively worldwide.

As the Santa Ana winds picked up, fires started in several places, but most noticeably in San Diego, and Malibu. They are continuing even now, with over 1 million people evacuated,w hich to my knowledge is the largest evacuation I know of in California.

6-7 years ago, I had a vision of fire running north fromthe Mexican border along the 5 freeway, hitting the 101, and then splitting into 2 paths, one up the central valley, and the other up the coast.

Many of the people I know in the church are not prepared or have a grid for the idea of God bringing revival and renewal int he midst of judgement and destruction. A group of people I was praying with recently in the South Bay interpreted every image of flood and such as the Holy Spirit, which Im sure it was, but I believed than as I do now, that it could be both Holy Spirit. and a literal flood.

There will be much more connections in hindsight to this. Currently, all I have heard about is property loss. thank God. However, if there is no Grace poured out, the next time will be worse. People losing their homes must be awful. And yet to take Scripture literally, it is far better to lose that and gain your soul. Part of Grace being poured out for me is to realize Gods hand, and turn. some of the most significant times of Gods hand in my life have been associated with physical pain and trial.

I believe God will do everything in His power to turn the heart of someone, as gently and graciously as possible. But He is determined, jealous, and unafraid. If there is no other way but pain, I am grateful to know He will go there with me. Literally with me, alongside me, suffering as well.

Prepare your hearts. Dont be offended. Get oil. Be ready.