Saturday, June 09, 2007

Dont just pray...

This am as I was trying to slow down the waking up process, I waspraying and thought about the fact that all these crazy people are fasting and praying for a breakthrough coinciding with The Call on 7/7/07.

A really ODD thing is my wife was going. then my exwife called and said someone had wanted to pay for and send her and my kids. Whoever they are, God will You please rain affection down upon their heads every day of my kids life!

Anyhow, since I dont have to stay home, as my kids will be gone, I have decided to go as well. Honestly, I want to support the Call, but I dont feel really connected to it. I love the idea, but it hasnt hit a place in my heart at all. Im not opposed to it,a nd I am for it, not just in a real deep way.

anyhow, the girls told us that they are fasting TV at their moms house, so Danie and I decided to join them in that, as well as fast and pray ourselves. It has had its usual fits.I dotn like fasting, but I need it. As soon as I start any fasting things start cranking up, good and bad. More dreams, more revelation, more anxiety, more anger, more physical confusion. Conviction of my lack of appropriate fathering, remembering times of hunger and visitation, and wondering what happenned.

Today as I was laying there, I realized how much prayer etc.. has gone on, and wouldnt it be a good idea to RECEIVE it? I mean, prayer will work itself out in the world, but my most powerful times in GOd have been when I placed my heart/spirit in an open place, and simply received. SO I did.

I simply began claiming and receiving the prayer going forth by all these thousands of crazy people, praying and fasting. And I add my prayers in too. But I believe it is important for us to consider that we should make willful effort to receive prayer, to drink it in, instead of waiting for it to hit us.

As I stand in agreement, Im not jsut praying for some "other". Im praying for me too, and Im going past just sitting there, Im going to try and open my spirit and receive it NOW. Try it and let me know if it changes anything.