Its a, a, a, demon?!

Some people who check out my blog might want to stop right here, and read something else. It is always amazing to me people actually READ this at all!


Yesterday as we left onething, I began to have this weird yawning thing. It isnt a real yawn. It was like a series of shallow yawns that seem unproductive. Danielle commented on it, and I was kind of thinking it was odd. This was coupled with the fact that her father just died of what we bet is congestive heart failure, and I, for some odd reason, was having the weirdest little twinge in my chest since Saturday night!

I was fairly confident the thing in my chest was actually just being sore from working out, as it wasnt that strong, was more sore than anything, and very small and localized, but just throw a little fear in there....

Anyhow, I had also commented to Danielle on Saturday that I was feeling rather at odds with what I was seeing. I typically have to steward my eyes a little, as I tend to be a very visual person, and I also receive revelation via "seeing". But I also need to be careful, as that same factor makes me oddly vulnerable to women who carry any kind of seductive element. So I simply understand that, and dont engage it.

My mind has been getting stuck on songs and sounds and phrases lately. I will get things just stuck in there, or I will hear certain things over and over again that arent something I want to think about or remember. This is another sign I am dealing with something that is personal, and specific rather than internal and general.

Anyhow, as we left onething, I began to yawn, and then I began to feel rather..... oppressed. I dont know how to describe it, but if you have ever had it, you would know. My head was a little foggy. I could physically feel tension moving up and around my back and my neck. After the 10th yawn, I said "This feels like deliverance". That it typically the way I have gone through it in the past. Most of the time it is that jaw stretching, deep, cracking kind of yawn that almost leaves me dizzy! This time, I couldnt seem to get anything out.

Within about 10 minutes, it became clear to me that God was taking something out of me, and I needed to get into it and push. Deliverance often involves the Will of the individual. At the same time, I am racking my brain trying to figure out what, if anything, I had done to engage something dark. I honestly couldnt figure anything out. At this point, if I cannot determine any place in my own life I actually invited oppression into my life, I have to determine it is either an current assignment, or something way back. Either one is possible, espeically as I have been reading lots of things about this lately, and especially Derek Princes stuff.

As we get on the 435, a voice in my head says "You are going to want to pull over". Im thinking "Great, if I need to pull over, what the heck is going ot happen!?". I have had a LOT of dealing with this kind of thing years and years ago, and I simply wont tolerate them. I have cast these things out of me on the freeway before! But I knew it wouldnt hurt.

I came up on 103rd Street. I figured that was a good Psalm, and I wanted this thing out. We pulled over, I claimed that whole Psalm, especially


Ps 103:1-5
1 Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--
3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
(NIV)

And then Danielle and I prayed. It took a long time! We actually had someone drive up to us (in a red truck), and stop and ask us if we needed help. I didnt see them, as I was too busy yelling "God didnt bring me this far so I could live the rest of my life with some stupid demon, GET OUT". Danielle just waved and told them "Were fine thanks". Then they turned around and left.
Anyhow, we finally got deliverance. Im not afraid to talk about this, and Im not ashamed. God has delivered me from SO MANY THINGS. It is one of the best things He does for me. And I am not in any willful activities (AMAZINGLY!!!!!) that would allow for that to be welcome in my life. There has been so much deep change over the years, that this is actually not common any longer. But there is the reality that we contend with this more than we think.

The more I engage my calling. The more I receive from God. The more I seek to bless and love. The more the enemy wants a piece of me back. I have been both a willful participant, and a victim of things demonic in my life, and I hate all of it. And as I go along my life in my little Kansas City/IHOP bubble, I forget that there is also a proactive agent against me. It isnt just always my flesh or my weak/broken soul. I have an old accquaintance that seeks my life. Just as Ruach Adonai seeks out my life, so does a very real, very evil person.

I am more motivated now. I have felt over the last few weeks that I need to, and am getting, ready to contend with things like this again. It is odd for me, because the last 3-4 years hasnt been full of that. But as God keeps restoring vision and focus to my life, I am finding old tools and things He gave me, and they still fit my hands. As I remember how to swing them, and use them, life is coming back into parts of me that have been fallow on purpose.

This might all sound odd if someone reads it. I dont claim not to be odd. But Im excited. If for no other reason than God delivered me YET AGAIN from something. He LOVES ME THAT MUCH. He wont stop.