There is no balance

I had an interesting conversation with someone wonderful the other day after a bake off at the local school. After eating 20+ samples of surprisingly high quality baked goods, I ended up in a rant with Ricard Lewellen. My rant of course, not his...

It jumped all over, but what really got me is how does one know when they are fulfilling a lifestyle (materially speaking) pleasing to God?

See I dont hae a second thought about buying a $5 loaf of artisan handmade bread. I dont even have to try and justify it saying "I love to eat" or "God made me a type of guy who loves this stuff" or even better "My favorite thing is to buy this and share it with people I love". All these are true. But I dont think it justifies the action.

I have a guitar that costs more than my first car. No one (including even John Loux) needs or deserves a guitar like this. John rips on one that costs 20%.

Some of my firends will counter with "But you love to give". This is also true. But it doesnt justify spending that much money on something.

There simply isnt a justification per se. But my thought is, I probably dont need one. I hope Im right. If Im not, Im a hedonist, or a glutton, or maybe worse.

I dont feel defensve either, just wondering. Should I buy crap bread at Panera (works in a pinch but comparitively an awful value)? Is it more holy, or more Godly? If Im really Godly, Ill go buy a $100 Fender Squier Crap-O-Caster. There have been times I was GRATEFUL to have one to play. But I dont WANT that. I want my Warrior.

How far does this rabbit hole go? Thats what tells me something is smelly about this line of thought. At a recent IHO staff meeting, the statement about social drink was made. It was a good reminder. I dont actually apreciate the idea, I love to drink wine. But that is the rules, and if you want to be apart of it, you do the rules.

Then it got interesting. Now I dont know any of the people personally who spoke, but I beleive and knwo others who will vouch for them and their character, and their hearts. The statement was made "I have never seen someone with aspirit of revival on them that drank". Ok. I dont buy it, but I appreciate you think that way. It isnt what goes into a mans mouth, but comes out of it that defiles him, but I can accpet a different thought. There is certainly a lot less risk not drinking than drinking when it comes to choices and judegment.

But it kept going. The statement was made "The grain used to make beer on a global scale could feed 50 million people annually". WOW. Lets asusme that is true. I think that is a GREAT reason to reconsider drinking beer. People take cheap grain off the market, and make expensive, non essential drink for people who can afford it. Bad Deal. Im sure tere is lots of other things, but hey, you start somewhere.

But then I almost yelled out "I sure hope all that coffee served at Higher Grounds is Certified Fair Trade". Because see this is a slippery slope. It has no bottom. IF we agree Coffee should be certified fair trade, the momentum builds.

"I hope that produce you are eating isnt picked with illegal and/or migrant labor that is wrking for unfair wages"

"I SURE hope you didnt buy that shirt at Wal-Mart. They have numerous pending lawsuits about cheatng employees out of overtime and payroll"

"Hey, how about we establish that non-essential things like coffee, beer, wine, sugar etc... are unholy because you are spending money you shouldnt, on things that could support the poor both with your giving, and the market not raping innocent poor people"

We get ascetic. How many sets of clothes should you have? How many cars? How big? How much MPG?

But there has to be a balance point Here is where I got to so far...

1. Is this choice Im making purely self-gratifiying? Be honest here. God doesnt hate pelasure at all. HE MADE it. I cannot wait to sit with Hm and cook and eat with Him. Im sue He knows how it all tastes, but it is one of the few things I can give Him,a nd one of the simplest ways I show affection. But, rampant self-gratification is sinful. It creates a tolerance for more, and increases the appetite for more.

2. Is this choice something I feel guilty about? Am I convicted? Am I willing to be convicted?

3. Am I able to give this thing away without enjoying it? If I was aksed or even needed to be commanded, would I try to do it, or put myself in the wy of Grace to be obedient?

4. Am I giving in general? Am I listening and looking for ways to give regardless?

5. Is it reasonable for me to do this? When I bought my guitars, I was debt-free, and had landed a ton of capital. I didnt borrow a dime to do it, and had a simple lifestyle that allowed me to do it without even flinching.

I dont know why Im thinking about this so much. As Richard and I were talking, Im right next to someone I love to pieces. They have just adopted yet again, found out they are prgnant and only God knows where this bus might stop! They live on a shoestring. I honestly dont knwo how they do it. Trust me, on several occasions I have asked if we should sell or do something to help, because now, we simply dont have hardly any resources to help.

I dont live on direct support. Mine is indirect. And it is hurting right now. I use wisdom to pull back on purchases that wouldnt allow us to give some here, and be wise. But I can stall use my freedom to go try and get more work, or change things. Most of our firends would suffer greatly to do that.

I look forward to things God may say about this to me. Im willing to be wrong, or right. Im willing to adjust, I just need to know where my target is. And accept it being different than someone else. Because I dont think there is a clear definition excepet for LOVE and OBEDIENCE.