My Student Kelsey

This is my student, and I cannot wait to see her Thursday. She has been in agony for so long.

I love Todd Bently, however I am looking forward to the day when a man isnt at the center of these things. All Style issues aside, this guy is going for it. God does radical things with very broken people. Im in! If you find yourself offended, then try to look at the reality that God loves His own enough to work through anyone to get the job done. Also remember that if you were an ex drug addict, in prision,a nd completely lost, you would care what anyone else thought either.

Kelsey Hays is on at about the 3:00 mark almost exactly.

Thank goodness for IHOP

So due to a misunderstanding on our loan for our house, our loan agent had to refinance us. It has been 6 months, and it was finally time. Because of the housing market in general, I was a little worried that we wouldnt actually have the 80% equity we have on our current loan, and that would end up screwing up the whole thing.

Well our house gained $2000 in value the last 6 months. I bet it is due to the great job Danie did on the babys room. Anyhow, this market,e ven with all the houses for sale, and some pending foreclosures, is stronger than normal. Thats due mainly to the IHOP. IHOP will be building a whole new campus on Harry Trumans old farm, and the city had a big thing about it int he county newspapaer. The amount of impact we make as an organization to this micro-local economy is pretty dramatic. It was a place that was deteriorating quite rapidly 10 years ago, but is far better off than neighboring communities due to the influx of people.

The one funny quote was the local school board commisioner, who said " The CFO of IHOP told me he has great confidence there will be a lot of these people enrolling their children in the local schools". LOL. Right. I dont know how they got that idea.

But anyway, Im so thankful. We raked leaves yesterday, I found a lawnmower int he shed, and ran it around until it was out of gas (I believe lawnmower are really just mini bikes int he making). Judah and her friend picked up acorns. Nice warm day, and we grilled veggies and chicken.

Then I went to Joseph COmpany Prayer, then the healing rooms for my blood pressure, then had a meeting with a local businessman who is interested in the same kind of thing about adoption I am. Then I came home and my lovely wife was putting the baby in her bouncer on a table by the window, in a new purple dress, so she could watch Zeb and his friend Shep run around the yard.

Tomorrow I go play the set at JPR.


What a life I have.

Donate... Now

Im not ashamed to ask for money to donate to orphans. Donate, its good to do it.

http://specialneedsbaby.blogspot.com/

Excursions in IHOP

I played my second set at IHOP today. Both times have been with the same team, at the JPR( Justice Prayer Room).

Last Thursday I had a great time. Kurt Weaver sat in for the leader, and I had played with Jurt a few times. It was a worship with the word set, which is a devotional type application of the Harp and Bowl model that allows the room to focus on particular bible passages, and reinterpret and develop them in the context of music.

It was the most fun I have had in years. I have been working hard to get my gear set up, and ready, and it paid off. Even though I was totally sleep deprived, I just flowed with it, and didnt think I made any terrible problems for anyone.

Today I had more fun than I probably have ever had. It was an Intercession set, and the actual leader was there. Good group of musicians, and of course, Im the oldest (and fattest). It is amazing what a great bass player will do for you, and this guy can play!!! The keyboardist is fascinating, she tries all sorts of alternate patches and synth parts, and is very competent so it adds so much. My job is to sit an noodle. Todd Phillips, eat your heart out.

The Intercession format is different, and typically more aggressive. The goal is to support the people there to get focused ont he prayer at hand being offered by the people who come up to the mikes. It goes in "cycles" just like the other type, but the content changes rapidly because the prayers are different.


The time went so fast. At one point, I hit that place where playing was effortless. I wasnt even thinking about what I was playing. In fact, most of it was like that (for good or bad!!!), but that magical place where you are flowing is addictive. And with others is wild.

I did find myself at times descend into performance! I cannot believe it. What an ugly thing. I would get focused on what I was playing, instead of simply playing in the mode of the room and the set. It was strange. If I want to avoid it, I have to guard against it. I cannot be passive. It slips in subtly.

It is a really interesting thing for me as well, being more improvisational, that the model of harp and bowl seems so restrictive. It is, in a sense. But in reality, it really is the least amount of structure to accommodate the most amount of flexibility I have seen. It is the talent and the creativity of the musicians that limits the actual model. We did some stuff today I havent heard around here, and no one is going to stop us. They arent the music police trying to get something. The point is to sub,it to the concept and the motive, which is universal, easy prayer for any person on staff, or dropping in, or watching on GodTV.

It does seem to have some roadblocks off the music side. The creativity level is VERY low as far as non musicians. If you dont pray out loud, and you dont play an instrument, there is very little for you here. And that is tragic. The musicians are set up like a concert, which is ridiculous. There isnt room to dance, and it isnt encouraged unless you are part of a special sub set of people here, and on and on..

There is a lot to grow into, but there is a lot here already. Im looking forward to developing my skill set, participate and help facilitate prayer, spend time in an anointed atmosphere, and then see how that translates out to BurningMan and other things.

A Little "MAN" Time

Here I am. Just me. All the females have left. Judah and Israel gone with their mom, Danie, Havah and Christina and Kathy to FCF. Just me, and Zeb, and a dog pal that seems to come over and hang here.

Ahhh.... the testosterone. The unwashed body odor. That unique butt smell that follows me without anything to cover it up. Just time to relax. Time to be the only man in the house, and be him without and estrogenic interruption.

Yep, just me.

Alone.

By myself....

Hmmmmmmmm...........

This isnt working as well as I had hoped. I miss everyone. And I dont actually LIKE the way I smell, I just always seem to smell this way.

I think I will take the motorcycle out for a ride in the woods until everyone gets back.

Havah.... Its whats for dinner

Took this one at about 4:50 am today.

This is what my mother in law does at my house

Sitting in the big chair, talking to a sister, holding Havah. I took this after 2 hours. Thent he lady goes and does all my dishes.

It is a hard life I have here.

more pics

Christina put up a bunch of Kathys pictures on a site.

http://picasaweb.google.com/helloortega/HavahPearlineJoy?authkey=PDov4kpYhtc

A quick Pic

Here she is. Not the best picture of her actually, but its a start. Trust me, there are already 50+ and movies on Kathy Wheelers camera. It looks like she is a redhead, which is wild. We will see. Shes pretty happy, breastfeeding, and pooping. Definitely a Henry.

Danielle did a textbook Bradley labor and delivery. It was amazing to have such a supportive staff in a hospital. We had a phenomenal midwife team that really blew me away. And the labor nurses were very kind and supportive.

It was rather stressful dealing with the possibility of aspirated myconium. The baby was immediately taken to a tray and scoped and sucked out and fussed over for a good 10 minutes. It was a little touch and go there, and I was overwhelmed. Thank GOD things were fine. She seems not affected at all, and can definitely breathe and scream with the best of them.

Recovery seems good. Baby and Mom are doing well, and dont seem out of the norm, which is VERY important in a hospital. Im tired, but we did sleep some, so Im ready to get OUT OF HERE.

Things are well. We just ate again, after sleeping about 3 hours. She wouldnt sleep until I picked her up, and then wouldnt sleep until I carried her about for a while. Then she crashed with me. We have done this twice, just me and her crashed out in my little fold out chair. She seems to like it with me, and thats good!

I Love my Israel and my Judah so much! They came first to see her, and Havah seemed to be just fine with them holding her. She is one lucky girl to have older sisters like that. Judah already have plans for her...

http://judahland.blogspot.com/

I think we will come home today, and rest as much as possible. Thankfully, I had no appointments or crises today at work, and I hope for tomorrow as well. Im anxious to get back to TDA for my class on CHOCOLATE!!!!

Its a girl

Havah was born 9:14 am 6lbs 9 oz 18.5 inches.

We had a little trouble right at the end. Mycnium was present all the way through, and they didnt like how she wouldnt scream. I was able to cath her, and went with her to the little toaster and helped her breathe and was with her while the team did their thing. She seems fine now.

This is consistent with a dream a friend had months ago, and it wasnt entirely unexpected. It seems like things are great.

Will update asap.

Yep its labor

Here we are at Shawnee Mission Labor and Delivery....

7 cm dialted, bag of waters still tact, progressing very well. Danielle is doing very well, doing her best to relax, and feeling the birth. Im amazed.

Will update soon.

Hmmm....

Now I'm up at 1:45 am!

Danielle woke me up and said she is having slightly painful contractions that only went away when she got up and walked around and ate. They are repeatable etc... and increasing in their pain, so there is a good chance this is the beginning.

The problem is, NOW IM AWAKE. I dont know how to relax to well. I just filed the taxes electronically, but I need to make a deposit, and mail off the returns as soon as I get notification. Thankfully, I have no appts this week yet, so we will see...

I might not get to update before the "kid hits the cervix", but at least I documented it. 4/15/08, 1:34 am, Havah seems to be starting her short little journey out. We odnt know how soon, but we know it is a lot closer. We will try to be patient.

Adoption Agency Guidleines from the consumer

I think it is time for the demand side of the adoption marketplace to create a set of guidlines Adoption Agencies have to follow in order for those of us who wish to adopt to give them our money and time.

In any market, there is a concept of efficiency. In essence, this idea means the market itself will correct based on the dynamics at play. One of the dynamics, is the price as well as the customer.

I believe we should start a dialog amongst active adotpion couples, agencies, and consultants and create a list, similar to here.

Here are some examples....

1. Any Adoption Agency participating in this must be a fully "not for profit" venture, whether they are in fact a 501c3 corporation or not.

2. Each agency participating must have at least an annual financial disclosure including a balance sheet, an income statement, and a profit and loss statement, publicly available for all prospective adoptive people.

3. Each Agency will disclose ALL salary, dividends, and payouts to all board members, owners, and employees.

4. Each Agency will maintain a maximum of xxxx% overhead and admin costs including marketing, office and support supplies, etc...

5. Each agency will have a clearly written and communicated policy about the actual costs for adoptions, including any method of pricing changes for "hard to place" children. This would mean explaining in actual terms and numbers, as well as policy, how the agency handles and disperses monies that might be more than actual costs for "easy to place" children for "hard to place" children. If indeed, the agency does not have a policy for this, they will be disqualified.

5. Each agency will have the director or officiating board member sign and post a copy of "Articles of Compliance and Intent" that we create, and renew it every year.


This is a start. I would love to hear input from all of you. I dont know how to arrange it and process it, as blogs arent the best way. I have a new website called adoptionrelief.com, and I can set up a message board there etc... soon.

Im a wreck

compared to my last post, this man has jumped on a grenade almost every day for the last year. If you dont believe in justice, his story is something to ignore.

If you believe that God counts every gasping breath, every minute of confusion, every demonic cackle when you lungs are sucking and struggling for air
, or the grief of being a parent watching your child suffer, or your baby girl fight just to stay warm at 1lbs, then you realize the immense accounting coming at the end of the age. When the last enemy is put under, when the disrupter and the defiler is presented in front of all creation, everyone with a case against sin, sickness, death, and distortion will have every single act of oppression resulting from his influence answered with justice.

Not only will eternal punishment be handed out, but an offsetting action will be released fromt he right hand of YHWY. HE will not only punish His enemies, but HE will give back more than what was stolen. HIS LAW requires it. HE will not be bribed away from it. HIS Vengance and HIS MERCY and GENEROUS HEART WILL GIVE into the black hole.

http://cfhusband.blogspot.com/

Medal of Honor

I heard this story today and was struck. Regardless of the position people have on the war, this story is so self sacrificial.

http://www.navy.mil/search/display.asp?story_id=36049


Imagine going into a situation like this. You HAVE to believe the other guys would do this for you. In fact, you might even believe that they would try to do this in your place if they could. This kind of action is unbelievable. Even more so considering this young man was 25 years old.

I think of the kids at The Call School, I think of the Daniel Academy. I think "Am I ready, willing, and able to do this for someone, let alone someone I love?".

Cool Comment

This was posted from an entry a while back, so I thought I would bring it forward. You can read her blog here

"As a child-centered ministry, Buckner’s goal is to serve pregnant women and their unborn children in such a way that the children’s lives are affirmed and that they are parented in the best way possible. Thus, we serve a large number of pregnant women who inquire about adoption but who, after counseling, decide to continue to seek a way to parent.

Only a small percentage of the clients we serve actually make adoption plans for their unborn babies – but almost all decide to give life. We provide these services at no cost. Therefore, the fees we charge adoptive parents must cover the services to all the pregnant women, not just the one whose baby they adopt.

Indeed, prospective adoptive parents who work with us become a part of Buckner’s ministry to pregnant women and their unborn babies."You are charged on a sliding scale based on your income ... if you have more to give, you are expected to do so ... equal sacrifice. You are not paying for an adoption - you are giving your part to the ministry, which encompasses much more than a child that may be entering your home. "


They make it very clear that every woman entering their doors is counseled first to parent. If every avenue has been exhausted, then and only then is adoption discussed.Your money may also go to help place a child with special needs or a waiting child into a home that may not have the funds to cover their full fee. They don't apologize for that. In fact, they take pride in it.


Find this adoption agaency and use it for your adoptions!!!!!!

More thoughts on adoption

The more and more I think on this, and talk it out, the more and more galvanized I become. It isnt a judgment thing, it is more a conviction for me personally, and my take on the situation.

1. I believe it is better to birth a child than to kill it. For lots of reasons from the theological aspect, to the social. Take Planned Parenthood. It is clear their founder was a racist, and her intention was to slowly eliminate black people specifically, and others by implication. Planned Parenthood has more locations in economically disadvantaged areas, primarily black, than anywhere else. The most dangerous place for a child for "african-american" ethinicity is a mothers womb, where 2 out of 3 children are murdered. The social implications of an ethinic minority killing their own generations is reason enough to stop, even if you dont have a theological ground for anti-abortion.

2. It is better for the natural mother to parent her baby if possible. This is MORE of an investment than adoption, and requires even MORE effort in some cases. It is still better. Dont sugar coat the issue. As great as adoption is, as inherent as it is to the Gospel, to the message of love, to overall righteous behavior, any child wants their own natural mother first, and will hurt deeply if separated.

3. It is better to adopt than to leave children in compromised situations of abuse or neglect. No matter how redemptive, adoption should NEVER be the first choice offered, or the place where finances and social support are initiated. It should be offered far earlier than this.

4. We dont love people for a result. Our role model never "loved people into the Kingdom". He loved. period. We dont love children, mothers, others etc... so that something occurs. We must love them because we do, and we will not be restrained. Jesus is frankly crazy, and intimidating in this regard.

The work of the church should be involved far earlier than these above situations, and we should take the reality of widows, abandonded children and mothers, and orphans as a slap in the face, and a comment about our unfaithfulness and lack of understanding of how we are loved, and how God is earnestly desiring to give us everything we need to love them.
If we do not see this, we have fundemental flaws not only in "theology" but in actual practical relationship.

Awesome feedback,....

"While I have been praying over adoption and thinking it a God thing, my heart breaks. I remember what I felt after birthing my child and I can't imagine giving him up. But I was in a situation where I was loved and cared for and safe. It is not like that for all women. Fear can be such a vehicle for human decisions. But if we (the BRIDE) could love more, I have to hope that it would be all the difference to a women facing these decisions. 1 John 4:18"

Absolutely!!! If indeed God knows how to lead those with young gently, we had better as well.

"It is true that some women are forced into giving up their children for adoption, but it isn't always at the hand of the "business" side of things. Often, it is by the natural mother's family. "

That is a great point. We need to make sure we dont take for granted the type of adoption. I know people with open adoptions, closed, and REALLY open (like regular dialog and visits with the natural mother). These are critical. In our haste to adopt and such, we cannot forget the reality that to be a woman in this istuation is unlike any other situation.

I have a belief that goes even further. I believe that most of the "theology" perpetuated by institutional churches is largely misogynistic. I love my spiritual family, but I disagree on a lot. When we take things like women, and we treat them as any different status wise (and try to explain it off as "God") we end up perpetuating an atmosphere that devalues women, and puts them in modes where decisions that are difficult normally, are downright impossible.

I actually know a woman who was pregnant, went to Georgia to have the baby and pick out the perfect adoptive parents. She found the ultimate couple (who were bi-racial in the same exact way as the baby (south american btw...)), and made a quality decision to care for this baby, and make as healthy an environment as possible. She actually was accosted IN A CHURCH by an older woman yelling at her that she might as well KILL THE BABY as adopt it out. What a wounded, broken lady to say this.

Now this is radical, and over the top, and I realize it. However, I only know a a very small amount of women who ever adopted out a baby, so this is a high percentage for me. I also know a woman who lived with a family for 9 months, at at the end decided to keep her child. He is now 15-16 years old, and she struggle through this with her own issues etc... and it is a testament to how a simple sacrifice for a few months could be more powerful than adoption.

The issue really is this... honoring women. If they are pregnant, or not. Honoring them and providing all the support they need, and helping them through these decisions only they can make. And adoption should be the last result, not the first pitch made to her.

Why I beleive the Adoption Industry is Human Trafficking Part 3

I did some investigating and found loads of websites of adults against adoption! Wow. Most of these were natural mothers (they prefer to use that term rather than "birth mothers" and I understand why after reading their thoughts), and they honestly feel manipulated into giving up their children by the adoption industry. They actually feel like they were the victims of predatory practices by individuals involved in the business of poaching babies from women for couples who were infertile.


Just the thought of it makes me feel sick. I do NOT believe that is the majority, nor do I believe people I know that have adopted have ever willingly participated in this practice. To be honest, I dont personally know anyone with adopted kids that dont have "natural" children. Im sure there are some, I just havent met them yet.

But there was some interesting points in this. As a person interested in adoption because of a command to work with widows and orphans, when is a child truly an orphan? That was the main crux of the problem as I read it.

Adoption itself is focused on the reality of a child without any parents or "natural" family. The point of it is to walk in Gods heart for people, and people without family are something He doesnt leave alone.

So the real underlying issue is... We should be encouraging women to birth and raise their own babies. We should be facilitating that at every opportunity. I know this already, but reading these articles brought it back in focus. The reality is, helping a single mother raise her own child is the single best thing to do about the issue of Life.

We shouldnt try to sugar coat adoption. Adoption is the last resort. IT is a beautiful thing, however it is a grevious thing. The fact it exists at all is hurtful. We cannot just focus on the reality of wonderful, loving families as if that is the only aspect. There was great injury in the whole process. And God forbid we did "business" with anyone who influences a woman to give up her child for their commission.

This is where I think my heart has gotten to after thinking and feeling my way about this for a long time. Im not for adoption of newborns in most cases:

1. For one, the potential for manipulation of a woman in crisis is high. I think every attempt should be made to help that woman to parent her child, and all efforts should be put there first.

2. As I understand it,we are so desperate for someone not to have an abortion that we push adoption as the alternative. However, we need to understand that the best thing (and the most expensive, difficult, and personally costly thing) we could do is actually help a single mother (think widow here) grow into motherhood fully respected and empowered to live herself,a nd with her child, regardless of any personal faith decisions or values she would embrace past things that endanger the child.

3. Newborns are easier to adopt out than any other child. Almost everyone I know goes after newborns. While some dont get adopted Im sure, the point is that is where the market is.

4. Children a few years old and more are clearly orphans. They have been abandoned. They were the newborns that either didnt get selected, or they were put in situations that didnt work.
I think this is more towards the bottom of the issue for me. The fact that mothers feel manipulated doesnt mean they were. Hard to say, but true. Im sure some WERE. That is sick, and to stand before God with that makes me shudder. But painting the whole industry with a broad brush and claiming all of it is wrong based on the pain and true anguish of a group isnt correct.

However, take their cries, and listen. Listen to the reality that there is a deeper issue even underneath adoption. It is the cry of a (mostly young) woman, caught in a snare. That is the first problem. The baby isnt the problem, the situation of the woman is. If we are to be wild lovers of people, we cannot bypass this part and say that is for someone elses "calling". It is our first one. Then adoption.