Wow

Todd emailed me about this book he heard about. Someone we had both met, (a simple man who lives a simple message came to our area long ago when I contacted him, and he really affected my heart and life in a good way, during a dark time. He came, stayed over at Todd and Kims, and then went on his way) had another friends who wrote a book he highly recommends.

I thought I had ordered it months ago, but something got mixed up. I went to order some other books at amazon, and it remembered my previous attempt (I guess a good case for cookies?). I ordered it.

I finished it last night crying, almost weeping. Im glad I bought 3 copies, and they are all committed in my heart to specific people that are on my heart.

As I read this book, I didnt learn a whole lot of new stuff. I more had a remembering. As I read these words, I realized how much God has done in and for my life. So much more than is evident ont he outside yet. And how many things had gotten revealed, and then essentially shut up in me.

So much creativity. Holy spirit is so wild, and I forget it. How compassionate and gentle and self sacrificing Yeshua is. How totally trustworthy and stable and consistent and giving Abba is. How determined to heal, at any cost to themselves. No cost is outside of the discussion. No time restraints, no resistance too big. Pain is simply a stepping stone into deeper dialog, just as great joy. They are both share the same intended endpoint when life is surrendered to them.

And then as I went to bed, I asked God simply "Why did I forget all this? Why dont I live hardly any of this consciously?" It seems to wasteful for God to do the things done in my life, and for me to sit in object difference.

"Vanity"

Yep. I dont have any reason to brag. I have had tremendous encounters with God. All the big ones I have heard about. And I am finding that I am still in the immaturity part. I took the truth, and turned it as power and position and applied it to others instead of allowing it to empower me to love MORE and more DEEPLY.

My humanity saw something, and hijacked it. I have seen everyone I know personally do this. It is the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Truth is good, and when we coem to know more of it, we know what ISNT. And we get distracted and turn against Evil, rather than rejoicing in the Truth (a characteristic of Love). And some of us catch it quicker than others.

I have all too easily allowed myself to be defined by what I am NOT ABOUT! And I catch it. Holy Spirit helps me. And I surrender. I dont know how God does it.

One of the main reasons Im not living in a steady stream of this, is because it would cause me to stumble. Knowledge without intimacy and self control/focus on the real only causes me to descend into the non-real. God doesnt want me to do that. God doesnt cause people to unlove someone.

I desire to turn. I desire to re-turn. I want a life flooded with revelation. I want it to course through me and out of me into a violent force. I want people around me to be shook up by the wildness I have seen in the eyes of a man stretched out on my behalf, becoming my curse, and screaming out for me. I want the colors again. I want the smells and the creativity. I want the smallness (and even distortion of space and time) that comes when YHWH is locating around me. I want my kids to see past this thin veneer of self indulgent life. I want them to shake false convictions and make evil unstable and obvious. I want power to Love, especially down tot he practical.

So I recommend the book as a good catalyst. It has its weak points. It is human. But it is divine in origin, that much is clear. God is speaking here. Some people are positioned to hear it right now. If not this book, then do whatever edifies you enough to get real today.

http://www.theshackbook.com/