Its getting real all the tiiiiimmmmeeee....

Things are getting more.... real. Good, but more true, sharper, more solid.

Moving is becoming a reality. Thankfully, I/we planned very aggressively. Too Aggressively. Wouldnt you know it, but God is more generous and helpful than we believed????

And pregnancy is catching up with Danie. She is tired, and a little sick. Not throwing up sick, but a little nauseous. And her little tiny belly is getting a firm little pocket in there! She woke up the other day, and I looked at hear and realized she is probably the most beautiful woman I ever saw. She doesnt seem to think so, which is really to my advantage! My new nickname for her is "Mrs. Kansas City". I realized, thankfully, she cant be "Miss Kansas City".

The kids went to scholl for the last day yesterday. It is odd. I wish we had decided BEFORE they started school, but it wasnt possible. We had fun with it. At least I did. When I told the school district they were leaving, they asked me where they were going. I asked them "does it matter?". I almost asked them "Is it any of your business?", but I need to be polite.

I had an altercation with an old man a few days ago. My dog wasnt ont he leash, and I didnt see anyone else in the park. After we threw the ball for him, I looked up, and there was a couple with a dog. I was bummed because I knew if Zeb saw them, he might go over there, and I didnt want anyone to be offended. I tried really hard to keep calm and see if I could get him to come back to me. But he saw them, and took off. I shouted "He isnt agressive, hes a puppy, he loves other dogs". The lady looked at me like I was a criminal, picked up her dog, and they kind of freaked.

I ran over there, apologized, and they started yelling. I told them I was very sorry, I didnt see anyone there, and wouldnt have let him off the leash. They kept scolding me, and I tried to be really paitent. I got Zeb and Danie came to get him with the leash. The guy picked up the ball that Zeb had dropped, and threw it over my head into the trees! I was in such shock, I turned around, looked at him (It must have looked like I was going to kill him), and yelled "HEY".

He jumped back, and the look on is face was unreal. He looked like I just pulled out a gun. THANKFULLY, somehow I calmed right down. Normally, my impulse control problems seem to really short circuit at that point. Honestly. But somehow, and it had to be divine, I relaxed. But I think this old guy thoguht I was going to beat him.

I did grab his arm, but really gently, and told him "I dont know why you did that. It sure doesnt help things. If I were a belligerent dog owner who doesnt care about anyone else, that would have lit me up. Im totally wrong in this, but what you did didnt help".

The guy didnt waver. He kept coming verbally. I tried to calm the situation down. He was STUPID. I have never hit anyone in a fight type of thing in my life. I probably wouldnt be able to do it very werll! But if I hadnt calmed down,. I would have put my fist right through that guys chest. And I would have felt so bad and guilty! UGggggghhhh..

On the way home, I realized how much more I could have done to apologize. And how thankful I was for the look of fear on is face.Had he not reacted that way, I might have intensified the issue, and it would have been terrible.

You just dont realize what you are capable of. Had my flesh gotten its way, I could have hurt that man so badly, and carried that the rest of my life. It was MUCH better to be slighted. I was wrong the whole timem, regardless of what he did. I just couldnt believe after him getting the poop scared out of him, he wouldnt relent. And I cannot believe how fleshly I am. That isnt the kind of man I want to be.

I want to be like my new nephew Patrick, who defends his sister from high schoolers teasing her and scaring her in the pool, and protecting other kids from bullies at school. I want to be like Jesus, and love that guy so much right from the start that I dont have anything to repent from, and possibly even be able to rejoice becuase he tasted love and was better off even for a little thing like that.