BigotsHead Revisited

Unfortunately, after I wrote the previous post, I realized either God is talking to me, or I am talking to me.

I will start off by saying that God has different people in different places, and for different times. 6 years ago, my life was radically impacted and I was forced to lay down everything I understood about the church, how and what it is, and how it is supposed to function. It stripped away everything that I could hang on to find approval and connection. It was a scary time, and a liberating time.

I would come across groups, but they were usually in the throes of coming to grips with the reality that "the emperor has no clothes", and were processing their pain about it. I had already done that. I needed and wanted community, and wasn't patient enough to walk through others just coming to grips with it.

Finally after having a great season where I actually lived with another family, and experienced the simple pleasure of day to day living with others did I get a practical understanding. But I knew in my heart that there was something much more.

You see, I can figure out the perfect scenario, and I believe I can can figure out great ecclisiological doctrine (the doctrine of "the church"). I think it is actually really easy. But the part I wasn't getting was Gods heart.

I honestly believe God is against most of what we call "church". I think that the majority of it is insulting (at best) to the work of Jesus Christ to reconcile believers to the Father directly without a caste of priests in between. In fact, HE mades us all priests. The legalistic forms and twisted structures that we see are based so much more on traditions of man than any simple plain scripture it is astonishing once you actually get away from it and have some objectivity.

At worst, these systems are actually evil. They can literally be powerful tools to keep people totally separated form a true and deep personal relationship with God. They perpetuate apathy, co-dependence, and foster a rampant narcissism that creates tremendous strain and burdens on people.

However, IF I am truly understanding that the Body is not a building, not a system, and not an institution but the literal people of God, then it actually FORCES me to engage it. To objectify and isolate myself from the PEOPLE (regardless of how and where and what they gather) is to become a religious bigot (at best), and to totally shut myself away from the very people God loves and dwells in (at worst).

The real issue is, if I believe I a little more freedom and understanding than the average believer I meet (and I actually do believe that with regard to identity and church gathered, I have been delivered of a lot of crap), then I am actually MORE accountable and MORE is required of me.

To shut myself off from others is a horrific thing. I have seen it a lot. Whole gifts and callings totally dissociated from the heart of God. And to shut myself off in a little "salt shaker" is to admit on one hand that I "don't recognize the church gathered that way", and yet adamantly REFUSE to engage the real church (because "the church gathered that way" isn't what I like) is to become more hypocritical than the people I have opposed!

This is difficult for me to explain well. But I am struck by a simple thing. Holy Spirit looked me right in the eye, and told me "I love these people, and I want to hang out with them". And then He turned and walked away. I knew He was going to visit them. And in that moment He asked my heart "If I love them and want to be near them, why don't you?".

My response was simply (paraphrased) "because I don't like the way and how they do that. I don't recognize it, and you told me it isn't valid". And He just simply kept walking towards them, and away from me. But the understanding bubbled up in my heart that if He was able to disregard all the fluff, and see past all that right into the heart, like He has done so many times with me on so many issues (to my immense benefit), I was missing the end point. I might believe I have understanding, but I have run the intense risk of becoming an even greater Pharisee. Because "they" are sincere. They keep the show going every week because they haven't come to the end of the rope yet. SO they show up and do the best, most earnest thing they can, but I, with greater understanding, refuse to actually practice what I preach and engage my heart and with sincerity see them as the Body, and seek out their well being and heart regardless of how they do whatever they choose to do.

I can go on and on. God has allowed a season of bigotry. And all the while He has looked past the dogma and the rhetoric and seen my heart. I am almost ready to cry right now literally writing that sentence. And He has treated me with great dignity and respect while I groped around sincerely. And now it is my turn. It is my turn to grow up and out. Because it is my season. Others are just entering into what I am emerging out of. Some haven't, or don't even care. And some are looking at me and nodding their heads and understand because they are actually finally experiencing the fruit of the truth about the Body, and can see her with God's eyes.

Religious Bigots

I recently shared some things God had shared with me in a meeting with a local pastor of a "church". I beleive Holy Spirit wants to localize himself, and visit these people, and I wanted to let him know. I had relationship with this person years ago, so there was some rapport.


Unfortunately at the end he asked me the magic question:

“So what is your position in relation to this church with what you just shared?”.

I told him I was committed to continue to pray and agree with what I saw God doing and encourage as much as I could. He then carefully (and respectfully) chose his words and said"

“It ummmm isn’t that I oh gosh I don’t know how to say this… ummmm there are 2 different types of people, those that relate to me from outside this church, and those that are inside it and are willing and part of the solution. I am wondering if God is asking you to be part of the solution.”

To which I replied (ever so carefully with antennaes flopping around in the air!):

“If I wasn’t willing to follow God and participate in something if He asked me, I wouldn’t share what I did with you”.

To which he replied:

“I would really have you pray about it and ask God if he wants you to get plugged in here.”

To which I replied:

“I am and will continue to ask God what he would have me do”.

Then he said:

“I love and respect you wither way, that isn’t the issue”.

And I said :

“Well ok, I will pray about it”.


UGGGGGGGHHHHH. I believe there is code in there somewhere for “Come join my institution”. But one thing I know, God has told me He loves them and is hanging out with them, and wants to know if I will to. Im asking this man to consider going way outside his convictions and comfort zones to engage God. For me not to do that is beyond simple hypocrisy. It completely undermines what God has done in my heart. If I cannot recognize the Body, regardless of how it gathers, relates, or expresses itself, I have gotten nothing from what God has taken me through and shown me. If I do not truly attempt to “one another” regardless of style, I might as well be a racist, because it is essentially the same thing. I am refusing to engage both God and the Body because of my position or my desires or preferences. And that makes me a bigot.

I don’t know that God is asking me to jump through their hoops and do whatever they construe as being “plugged in”. Most of that is silly stuff that has nothing to do with following Christ and expanding the Kingdom. But this man is very earnest. He was very transparent with me, and is about to go through something very intense. His desire is to do it right, and he is working with what he knows.

And I believe God is showing me that while community is wonderful, it isn’t the primary thing at all. We need one another, but the church exists to demonstrate the Kingdom of God, not to gather together. Gathering is a means to an end, which is to experience God, facilitate one another, and exemplify what the Kingdom is. The rest of it is wonderful, but not the primary reason she exists. Therefore, I need to be open to the fact that in my life, God may lead me to where He likes to go, and do what He likes to do, regardless of what I like, or how I like it. And I am open to that. It will just take a lot of discernment. But the only fruit in in His steps as He walks in the vineyard.

An Addition

Someone named Julia almost experienced incontinence whilst reading the last post. I dont know if I am proud or shocked or encouraged. However, I agreed in light of the great personal sacrifice she made to share her comments directly here.

7.Encourage prayer (if it conforms to the church standards and regulations without offending or deepening intimacies with Christ)

I have personally experienced this particular form of expression in modern "church". Prayer is ok, as long as it has some kind of scenario easily understood and conformist. However, the real sick thing, is I do this all the time!! IF someones bend doesnt suit mine, I refuse it. It takes an actual act of discipline and focus to put aside my expectations, and charismatic requirements and hear and feel the LOVE that might be inherent in the prayer, all the while stumbling over the doctrine.

But alas, it is true. It we could shift the DaVinci Code stuff to Randys blog, we could free up more time for additional conformist prayer tactics and ensuring and perpetuating a consistent and shallow experience of God. Hey at least it is consistent!!!

Interesting problem

http://rbohlender.blogspot.com/2006/05/i-figured-this-was-coming.html#links

My friend Randy wrote some interesting stuff on his blog. I made a comment, and it is somewhat sarcastic etc... and realized he may not want to publish it because people might actually a) believe I was serious about some of it, or b)think he was endorsing what I said.

So I decided to write my own response here. I LOVE randy, and the way he thinks. This is just simply my take on it. Read his post first.


Randy I went to see the movie and was so blown away, and it was so good I bought the book to really "dig in" and do some research. I cannot wait to talk with you about it when I get to KC. I think it will really open your mind. You and Kelsey are so smart at that kind of thing, and my ADD kicks in and I cannot understand a lot of those words and biblical history stuff...


Did you know it is possible Jesus was MARRIED? WOW. And it sure explains a LOT of stuff that I thought was probably happenning that the church is hiding from us for CENTURIES.
It might be a great idea for a thread on your blog where you can read it all and help us really grab a hold of the stuff, rather than having to waste time going to churches on Sundays. YOU could be our central "point of contact", and because you are such a good teacher you could help us understand what Mr. Brown was really getting at.


Im thinking that way we could continue to use Sundays and buildings for more interesting things like:

1. Sitting around listening to people tell me what they think God wanted to tell me (but couldnt seem to tell me directly)

2. What they think the bible says

3. Ask me for money

4. Explain to me the finer points of their doctrine and position on all sorts of things

5. Provide me with music and multimedia

6. Help me balance my checkbook, save my marriage, and "reach out to others".


Since by your estimate, they only get 40 shots a year to do their thing, we should do everything we can to help them do their thing more often. I mean gosh, they get paid to talk and run the show so we should let them go for it.


I think I am on to something here. We could free up a lot of resources by using the internet so we could perpetuate more activities.


disclaimer: Because email and this stuff is so detatched it is not implied that Pastor Randy or Pastor Kelsey will truly help us meander throguh the book of DaVinci. The above statements are made purely tongue in cheek, and meant as an outlet for my cynicism and outright "rage against the machine". Randy and/or Kelsey will certainly discipline me upon first contact.

Food

Tomorrow is the celebration of 8 years of day dreaming!!!

God has finally brought about the reality my business partner and I had of giving money away that is generated by the software we developed. Up until now I was taking the revenue and using it for income, but now we can send all of it to work with widows and orphans and other things we ar eled to do. And if we feel led, we can take some as income as well, but neither of us actually need it as we both get paid outside the company from our other endeavors.

I have given up so many times. I have been broke so often,a nd struggled and struggled. I havent ever been faithful to this! If it werent for Gods help this would be a big stupid mess. And yet wehn the realization came about that this was hapenning, I was shocked!

It was almost like God winked at me and said "Thats was fun and easy, now what?". And when He said that, He had a very crazy kind of look in His eyes. I cannot explain it, excpet that you would think someone was crazy or a little "off" if they just stared at you that way!!!

Anyhow, the following meal is going to be consumed and eaten with great relish. I felt the need to throw a party and celebrate (read the last half of deuteronomy if you dont beleive me).

Course 1:

Bread and assorted raosted peppers, olives, artichoke hearts, olive oils and the like.

wine: 1995 vintage Champagne (Blanc de Blanc for those interested)

Course 2:

Bacon wrapped Scallops over roasted red onions and braised spinached with aged Balsamic Vinegar.

wine: 2005 Kim Crawford Sav Blanc

Course 3:

Seared sesame seed encrusted Ahi Tuna with grilled asparagus and pickled Ginger

wine: Pinot Noir (dont rmember the details but will supply if asked)

Course 4:

spit roasted Grassfed Prime Rib of Buffalo with a huckleberry and prickly pear reduction sauce, smashed purple potatoes with roasted garlic, and collard greens.

wine: 1987 Medoc Bordeaux, 1992 Hess Collection Cabernet and then God only knows what else

Course 5:

assorted cheeses, american fireweed honey, dried Turkish figs

wine: White and Red Rioja

Course 6

Hot Cocoa Coffeecake with Zingermans dark chocolate, brandied cherries and dulce de leche caramel sauce with vanialla ice cream

wine: Giraud Sauterne

And then to top it all off, a 1967 vintage Port!!!

Im so escited I have been planning this for weeks. I think this is what Heaven os like, with feasting and food and flavors and fun and celebration.