The nature of worship and devotion

Not like I can expound on this in any prfound way, but here are some concepts that came to me inprayer and music today....

1. God is not some NARCISSTIC BEING.

For example, I believe that most of the teaching and examples we have of worship portray God as this being at the center of creation with people/beings fawning over HIM. And while it is totally reasonable to respond to HIS awesome Person this way, it ISNT BECAUSE HE NEEDS IT!!!!

I am not really sure that God made a bunch of things to worship HIM just because He gets off on it. In every other way God is self-actualized (bad word but I dont know how to express it). He doesnt NEED us to be whole, He is what wholeness is. And yet He makes Himself vulnerable to us somehow.

But somehow along the way I have gotten some legalistic idea God wants to be worshipped and created a whole eternal party where He is the center and walks around benevolently condescending to the party goers who got it right enough to get His attention.

I didnt make this up!! I was taught it in several different ways, directly and indirectly. There are the "protocol" specialists that think Holy Spirit cannot fellowship without the right lighting and sophistication (HOW DID I GET SAVED THEN?). The others are convinced you must "breakthrough" and scream in tongunes until you have a spiritual awakening.

Still others explain God has a method, and this method must be adhered to specifically (Praise, Worship, Prayer, Confession) etc... types of worship, experiences blahblahblah

I cannot even list all of it, but I swear I have been battling this perception that worship is somehow this context of climbing up a process hill to end up at a poin t or state of connection.

2. Worship was created for us, not Him. We dont really recognize what worship is. We use that term as a verb when really I am thinking of it more as an adjective (I think that would be right
). Worship is relating to God directly, and there are conditions that are required, just as they are for relating to anyone, but the worship itself is not the requirements, it is the very act of connecting with Him.

I dont think I am making sense yet, but I am trying...

3. Devotion. In prayer and "worship" (I was connecting with God) I really began to sense the role of Bride to Him. When I was married (and it wasnt a healthy ,marriage so the model begins breaking down eventually) while it was nice to have someone really fawn over you, it was a million different actions that made a huge impact. Coming over to work and sharing lunch with me, bringing the baby by to see me or call me on the phone, trusting me to make a good decision, laying her head on my shoulder and just resting, allowing me to rest my head in her lap and just be quiet. For everyone there is personal things that mean a lot more than a constant stream of "devotion" type word.

It would be embarassing to have someone you are married to constantly bragging about you, bragging about you to your face, always approaching you with words and action like we do in gatherings. It would be insane actually.

I dont know if this connects well, but I need to understand relating to God past all the trappings and rote and routine that has been presented, and realize He is a REAL PERSON. Although not human, humanity reflects Him, and He desires relationship with us, but I doubt seriously He is hoping for a bunch of people to keep telling Him how wonderful He is over and over again and never going deeper into KNOWING. We all like to be loved and admired, but that is shallow compared to the richness of relating to each other deeply.

I will stop now....

I am a flake

I just remembered I started this....

OK. So after weeks of thinking I am hearing, and getting loads of incongruent feedback, I am pretty sure God is saying "Stop, put down the music thing, and back away slowly".

Interestingly enough, He told me via several different ways that He wanted me to spend time with Him, and get centered. I always forget, God seems to talk about stuff WAY before it comes. Some of this, I have been mulling over for months, thinking it happenned already, but it didnt. It is now.

Spend some time (measured in years I think) focusing on Him. In fact, even stanger, STAY AWAY FROM THE CHURCH WITH YOUR GIFT!!!! Weird. I am actually more stable and ready to do things outside of gatherings of the Body, than in it. Due in no small part ot idolatry, passivity, and a host of other things that I seem to get tangled up in.

I BELIEVE it is for my PROTECTION, but primarialy for me to take a chance and get focused on ministering to HIM first, not playing some music people like, and want to use to prep their meetings, or their techings, or get "their thing" done. I am honestly looking forward to having a heart change and ministering directly to Him alone, for His benefit. Along the way, I might go play in a abr, or a coffe shop, or a beach, or a park. And I might use this prophetic stuff to fish a little and see if someones heart is ready to hear about Him in a way they might now know.

Mostly, it is a way to pray and prophesy without words. Words get in the way ( a song here perhaps?). They carry the meaning and intent of the speaker, so it is easy for me to get screwy.

But music, and the "prophetic" (need new word here) depend on the Spirit to interpret and apply them. I just broadcast the signal I get, and beleive HE has a message for someone else.

But that is not the goal. The goal is HIM. The goal is to be satisfied with Him alone. Sincerely, not just relgiously. And now I am willfully barging in on back room meetings of hidden sin and compromise and resistance that my soul wants to keep perpetuating until LIGHT gets in there, and rennovates the place. Bad words, scary pictures, lustful stirrings. UgggHHHH.

The good news is, that stuff dont go public unless something is poking at it. And something inside really does keep telling me He will win.

Outbound

Ministering to Others

I am writing this processing some weaknesses I know in myself, and wondering how much they really affect God’s ability to minister through me. Positionally, we are all completely justified. Practically, we are in a process of becoming that experientially. But since all ministry is God’s power, and the blood is our righteousness, then it follows that we are all capable of some kind of ministry to others as well as to God.

My visions of this is making more and more sense (to me). For years I have had visions and dreams about things, and as God has brought more and more healing to me, there is more understanding of the real purpose. Early on, it was really a desire for an experience. Then it migrated to a desire for a significance/purpose in serving God. Then it became a burden in response to knowing how it feels to be trapped in the world. Now it is actually changing to an even more sharp and yet blended concept. God loves the world. He loves me. I love Him. I am beginning to love the world from His perspective very slightly. I desire to be more in step with Him, and His desires and loves. I believe as I continue to engage Him, I will have more of Him, and therefore more of His Love.

What would it be like? Several types of things. Obviously, we need to be led of Holy Spirit. As well, I am beginning to know more and more of specific things He wants me to do, and specific things He has gifted me to do.

Encouraging and facilitating the Body to become the Bride. Some have differing theologies about it, but all I can say is I have come to believe it is just as much a choice to be the Bride of Christ as it is to be in the Body. You cannot be the Bride without first being part of the Body. But I think there is some kind of difference between just being saved, and experiencing and pursuing God as the Bride. However, there should not be an elitism in this. I believe it is time to encourage the Body in “encounter worship”. It is taking the daily practice of worship and the laying down of our life, and periodically fixing our eyes on Him and presenting ourselves to Him for His pleasure (and indirectly ours) as His Bride. Seeking both as an event, but taking that event and bringing it to the forefront of a day to day life.

Encouraging and facilitating the Body to creative expression via all the fullness of created gifts (personal, and corporate). I have had visions and words from God that I would know it was Him when I saw everyone doing something different. That runs contrary to many peoples ideas. People are uniquely made with specific things that bless God. If they all were to do the same thing, it would not be right. It would be forced. I believe in unity, but not in cloning. This would look like environments designed to facilitate visual art, writing, dance, music, silence, fasting, intercession and many many other things we have yet to even consider.

I believe I will see whole rooms of people where some are writing, some are crying, some are dancing, some are singing, some are painting and so on. The best part is, many will not be the skilled ones, just anointed. Or maybe even not anointed (which may be the best part), but earnest in their desire to bless God, and give Him something of themselves. Practically this would be corporate settings, and small groups with room for kids and messes.

Developing a team of people that can engage God this way together and individually, and facilitate it in others. Prayer and ministry types, prophetically gifted, intercessors, evangelistic, all types. The common thread being a developed ability, and a mentality of free expression to God for His heart alone.

The next step is to take that out of the Body experience and out in public. To literally do the same thing, but in a public setting anywhere from a park to a coffee shop. A situation where there is a group of people that can access God and engage Him at will. That know Him and His desire for them, and can therefore be able to connect with Him regardless of who is there.

The power of this cannot be stated. I believe as good as it can get in the Body (and it does get good), the signs and wonders and encounters and wonder and majesty follow the Gospel. To me, connecting with God like I am describing is the heart of the Gospel. It is John 17, in public. It is the restoration of Adam and God.

What would it be like for someone to walk across a group of people who were so engaged experientially to God? If they were the least bit open, they would engage. If there was a team of people able to encourage, pray, dialog, and facilitate a stranger to this, all the better. What if that happened at a new Age Bookstore, or on Venice beach like some folks we know? Or at Wilson Park? Or a Grateful Dead show, or Burning Man? Or set up in the middle of the desert for 3 days?

I picture it a lot like Saul and the prophets. He came across them, and got lost in God. Now it certainly didn’t impact Saul in the long run, but I believe it could have. What if there were dream interpreters, and deliverance teams milling about in the crowd that would gather. People standing right next to you while you are enjoying the “energy” and the “atmosphere” that were praying and interceding for you, and could engage you in a spiritual dialog as led?

Obviously so me of this can get grandiose and self serving. Additionally the sacrifice and call to practical sanctification would be involved. Additionally, real and deep fellowship would be an utmost necessity for both the health, and the strengthening of the people involved. The warfare could be hard, and the personal issues would surface. But the opportunity to see a person engage the Presence of God would be incredible. The place it would be to have a conditioned and ready spirit that can engage God, and really minister to Him like this? Wow.

Never before have I seen this clearly. And I don’t believe I am even really seeing clearly. I would guess there is still so much of the flesh and lack of vision that needs to be dealt with. But isn’t it worth it to persevere with those things with a concept like this? For me it is. I want to be able to Love God for God alone. But I also realize that I must start where I am at, and believe God wants me to be sanctified in mind and motive more than I. And that He has a dream in His heart like this.

Think about it, and pray about it. See if God gives you similar dreams and ideas.

So What Does it Mean?

So what??? Well God has given me (as well as others) talents, gifts, desires and visions. One of my enduring burdens is to see people experience the Love and Passion of God for them, and experience the unlocking of their souls in Love back to Him. It has been the single most incredible experience of my life to have revelation of Gods overwhelming Love pouring through me. I am convinced that if everyone experienced it, it would change them.

My primary means of doing that seem to be through music, and more importantly the facilitating of environments where that can occur. It has been prophesied to me several times by different prophetic people about a “sound” that will be used by God to touch people, and eventually bring about an experience of God pursuant to salvation.

For the last 10 years, (primarialy the last 6) God has taken advantage of my significant mistakes and poor choices to break and heal me in a lot of areas. Notwithstanding the huge amount of work left, He seems to be moving closer and closer to sharing things with others. But what does it mean? What does it look like?

Both Todd and I have been discussing the context of worship as it relates to “ministry”. This is a very overused word that has lost a lot of appeal to me, but so far I cannot think of an easier one to use. Additionally, as a “priest”, we have 2 functions, to minister to God, and to others. How would that work in context of what I believe God has both gifted me to do, and what I feel called and like to do?

Ministering to God

I just love it when God gives me the Grace and Presence to engage Him directly. It can be so significant. And yet every time it has been sovereign. It seems that it comes over me, I love it, and it goes. I am beginning to believe there is a much deeper reality, experience, and even call to have more.

Based on an article on the web (http://www.etpv.org/2004/tpotl.html) I really felt like I had a good picture of this. For years I have experienced things similar, but couldn’t seem to put it together, or keep it all in perspective. The reality is, it is my privilege (I believe every Christians) to go before God, and love on Him. Some have an easier time, some are even called to do that exclusively. But I believe too many verses and directions in scripture show us we can, should, and will do this one way or another. In this article, it is explained well, and one piece I really engage is the concept of going TO God in the Most Holy Place and not thinking it is coming out to get me. Periodically, we experience Him, but that is no the same as going to Him in the Place of Meeting.

I want to endeavor to do this personally, I am praying and seeking for God to show me how, to facilitate it, and to remove from me anything inconsistent with that happening. Most importantly, it is the realization that Holy Spirit is the one that not only brings it to me, but helps me get there, and does all the work. I ask, and then respond.

Additionally, I believe it is possible to get around a people who can do this. Scripture doesn’t show us more than one person in the Most Holy Place at a time, but now we are all called as priests, and all are commanded to see ourselves that way. Whether or not we all have the same conscious experience of it at the same time, I believe it is time to join with others who can place themselves squarely in front of the King, and Love Him with abandon, making ministry to Him a priority by Loving Him, and laying down our lives in a constant sacrifice.

Worship thoughts part II

Anyhow, in the NT we have this new definition in Rom 12. It is basically saying:

Start with this revelation of God’s mercy and generosity. This whole request from Paul starts here. Have a revelation (a “view”), of God’s pity. This is not Grace, but Mercy. In response to this Divine Mercy (and subsequently VIA His Mercy) do this….

Make an offering of yourselves, your life, even your physicality. But this time, instead of giving it once, give it as a living, pro-active, constant sacrifice. Over to death, all the time. But over to death, just like the OT version. Be a constantly dying offering, giving yourself over to the burning. Sacrifice used here means the breathing out, the burning up of something. So a living dying. But it is something you elect to do, and put yourself in, not God. If God does it, it is discipline and sanctification. If you do it, it is worship. More on that later.

This is your spiritual act (a living constant act). It is also a logical, rational response (look at the Greek behind those words). In fact, the word for God here is theos, and the word reasonable derives itself from logos. Trippy in the fact it references a relationship to logos and theos, similar to John 1……

Rom 12:2 seems to be a different, but related thought, Kind of an “add-on”. Paul seems to be saying “Do this worship thing, and as well change your thinking so you can be confident about what God wants and is directing you to do about it”.

What is worship?

This is from August of this year. I understand that it isnt a complete thought, nor is it completely theologically correct. But it does stimulate discussion.....

I think it is time to try and write down in a centralized way what I have been thinking about, praying about, and experiencing in God for the last 12-15 years about HIS desire to use music and creative expression, and our need and desire to have that. It goes way beyond “worship” as a musical thing, but it is the springboard to what I have been thinking.


1. Worship

Worship is NOT singing, dancing, or some other expression. Worship, at it’s core, is a lifestyle (Rom 12:1-2), not an event. A constant, and progressive process. It is a laying down of our life, a living sacrifice. It is a constant thing. It also involves (as it’s result) a transformation (via a renewing of our mind) that should completely change us to have a different experience and understanding than we would normally have.

Additionally, one of the perspectives of worship in the OT is sacrifice. The irrevocable giving over of things to destruction, such as cities that were burned down to the ground (at God’s explicit command), killing people (ewwwww!!) and animals and things of value etc… This was combined with offerings, which was giving of something of value to God.

Here are some other thoughts I wrote on this a couple years ago. This seems to apply much more to the OT concept of worship, which was really a worship in response to rules and process laid out by God. You didn’t get to think up a way to worship God in this context. If you wanted to worship, you found out what the law said, and did it that way. There was Praise etc… in the Psalms. This was different.

1. At it's very basic essence, worship is a transaction
2. The transaction is always a giving up of something of value by the worshipper. The greater the extent of the value, the greater the worship. This is the application of the word sacrifice. In reality, sacrifice is a death of some level. The old testament meaning of sacrifice was also interpreted to be the "irrevocable giving over of something to death". The burning of a city, the slaughter of an animal that could be used for food or work, the destruction of something personal to the extent that it could not be retrieved and picked up again. This ties in to the "If you eye offends you" statement of Jesus. But that is for another discussion!!
3. The hope of the worshipper is to get something in return from the worshipped in response to the death. Atonement, Deliverance, Cleansing…..
4. When worship does not result in some form of death on the part of the worshipper, it is not worship. It may be praise, it may be fellowship, but it ain't worship.
5. Humans are always full of something. Themselves, God, the world. Combinations of all.
6. "Giving is Receiving, and Receiving, Giving" In order to give something of any true value, you must receive something from God. The flesh profits nothing, but the Spirit gives life. You must displace what you have initially with something from God, which means something must be emptied before something can be filled. (Tommy Tenny has a great take on this in his recent books). So, in order to have something to give, you must give up something about you to have "room" to receive from God. In order to receive something from God, you must empty yourself in some way, through giving, or death to something.

So where do I start?

How does this thingy go? My friend Randy Bohlender is a blog master. He is a writer, and a communicator (not always identical).

I am going to dredge up things I have wrote before to create an environment. Thats it! And one only hopes this is not some significantly narcisstic excercise.....

I am not a writer....

Seriously.... I cant understand the cathartic experience of writing, nor do I seem to have a need to do it. And yet, I sometimes write stuff to get it all out. And as I was reading it, I realized that these might have value, or at least provoke someone else.

Dont look for good grammar. I dont believe in it. Spelling correctly is also optional. I just want the gist of it to come through. You could almost say it feels like a divine assignment.