I am a flake

I just remembered I started this....

OK. So after weeks of thinking I am hearing, and getting loads of incongruent feedback, I am pretty sure God is saying "Stop, put down the music thing, and back away slowly".

Interestingly enough, He told me via several different ways that He wanted me to spend time with Him, and get centered. I always forget, God seems to talk about stuff WAY before it comes. Some of this, I have been mulling over for months, thinking it happenned already, but it didnt. It is now.

Spend some time (measured in years I think) focusing on Him. In fact, even stanger, STAY AWAY FROM THE CHURCH WITH YOUR GIFT!!!! Weird. I am actually more stable and ready to do things outside of gatherings of the Body, than in it. Due in no small part ot idolatry, passivity, and a host of other things that I seem to get tangled up in.

I BELIEVE it is for my PROTECTION, but primarialy for me to take a chance and get focused on ministering to HIM first, not playing some music people like, and want to use to prep their meetings, or their techings, or get "their thing" done. I am honestly looking forward to having a heart change and ministering directly to Him alone, for His benefit. Along the way, I might go play in a abr, or a coffe shop, or a beach, or a park. And I might use this prophetic stuff to fish a little and see if someones heart is ready to hear about Him in a way they might now know.

Mostly, it is a way to pray and prophesy without words. Words get in the way ( a song here perhaps?). They carry the meaning and intent of the speaker, so it is easy for me to get screwy.

But music, and the "prophetic" (need new word here) depend on the Spirit to interpret and apply them. I just broadcast the signal I get, and beleive HE has a message for someone else.

But that is not the goal. The goal is HIM. The goal is to be satisfied with Him alone. Sincerely, not just relgiously. And now I am willfully barging in on back room meetings of hidden sin and compromise and resistance that my soul wants to keep perpetuating until LIGHT gets in there, and rennovates the place. Bad words, scary pictures, lustful stirrings. UgggHHHH.

The good news is, that stuff dont go public unless something is poking at it. And something inside really does keep telling me He will win.