My secret is out....

I didnt want to say anything to anyone, but Jason Babcock "outed" me. I will be relying heavily on Randy Bohlender, who successfully lost a failed campaign recently with his awesomely patronizing "Together we can make a mess" slogan, as well as "Come on now, dumber things have happened". He should provide great insight into the irrelevant movement where I am indeed the strongest.



I think my eclectic policy will have an equal amount of people both curiously satisfied and revolted:

1. Im not sure what my primary colors are going to be, but they will probably be primary.

2. Im pretty sure my theme song might just be "Dance this mess around". I think it speaks to the people I really care about, because Im not anyones Limburger.

3. I am for arming deer, mostly just to make things more interesting and fair. They dont have arms, so it is both a gift, and a privilege. If you have arms, you should have some guns.

4. I subscribe to the late George Carlins combo solutions to immigration/gas price policy. I think it is fair, and I dont mind ripping of dead comedians.

5. Im somewhere between an ultra-zionist (I love our friend Zion, and want the est for him) and mildly anti-semitic, it just depends, like it does to my opponent, who I am talking too, and how much $$ they have. The odd thing being, the Jews (self admittedly) have all the money, and the media, so Im pretty sure where my affections stand.

6. I hate Rap, and will probably declare it unpatriotic so I can get Bill O'Reilly on my side.

7. I believe in raw milk, soft, ripened cheese, regardless of the risk on strange bacteria and/or parasites.

8. Im against underage drinking, therefore I intend to manipulate the drinking age indexed to my relative age in dog years. This should make most people besides me under the age, which provides me a glut in the fine wine market ensuring good cheap read (like me) for anyone that "I roll with".

Im open to any suggestions, especially how to erradicate grammar and handwriting, foie gras, and mowing lawns.