4 weeks

Well 4 weeks to go, and I will be legally married.

I really debate all this stuff, but in the end I have had to repent of my judgements, and allow for the reality that culture defines marriage. As I wrote that, I realized I might be wrong.

So WHEN is someone married? I read the bible, and it doesnt define marriage. At the minimum I can figure is sexual intercourse. But anything past that, there isnt a definition. I wrestled with that, trying to understand the role of the recognition of the state vs. the sacremental aspects of marriage.

When is divorce then? God allows for divorce, heck he even issued a decree of divorce with Israel (of course, he gets her back at the end). So is there a spiritual aspect to divorce, or is it purely legal?

The reason why I debate things aside (over active brain, distraction, ADD, avodinging emotional conflict, being wired that way etc...), this might be a very serious thing. As I go along in life I find more and more vain traditions of the church that have gradually interacted with culture, and they have in essence blended together.

For example... WHEN is someone actually married? In the eyes of the state, it is a legal status, meaning a license is issued, and people can now share the ownership of property, cannot legally do that with anyone else outside of a business arrangement, are liable for each others debts incurred etc...

As society, we accept this. As the CHURCH, we accept this. WHY? Im not sure now that I think about it. I guess because thats what I have been programmed to think. If marriage is purely a status, that has legal ramifications, I guess it is good enough.

But as a believer in Christ, I believe that there is a sacremental aspect to it. It is a few things at once.

1. It is the redemption of the Man and the Woman coming together. God created MANKIND (we usually say Man here) male and female in Adam at the beginning. I dont know honestly if Adam was purely just Male or not, but I know God took FROM Adam to make woman. And he left certain things in Adam, and took certain things out. Rick Joyner says that explains the shopping conflict. I dont like it, understand it, or even relate. But it is a real thing Danie and Israel like to do.

2. It is the joining of Man and Woman as an image of Christ and the church.

So does the church get its endorsement from the society within which it operates, or des it define marriage itself? I would say the former, almost 100%. The church depends on outside, largely legal definitions to determine if someone is married or not!

I think this is crazy! I have never thought through this at this level before. I hear that certain groups within the Church (Puritans for one) didnt recognize marriage from the legal perspective. The were so into separation of church and state they didnt perform marriages that serve the purpose of the state.

Here is the problem. If I, as the church, allow the society in which I live to define marriage, the state of marriage, and whether or not I am married, then I must allow the state to define it! And this is a big problem, because the same people I am leeting define it, are attempting to define it in ways inconsistent with my beliefs and convictions as a christian.

HAH! This is a trip. So I wrestle more. On and On. Am I defined by my faith, or my culture?

If I say my faith, then am I not married to Danielle until I have sex with her, even if I have entered into a societally based/recognized arrangement to share property. Because a "pastor" is only recognized by the state as having the right to marry, there is no role of that in the church. It isnt a spiritual gift or even "office" for those really into that kind of thing.

If I say my culture, then what happens when my culture defines marriage (and subsequently divorce) as anything it wants to? If I live in Uganda, I can have as many wives as I wish (uggghhhh). And somewhere else might possibly be even to marry a few guys as well (double uggghhh). And if the state is only recognizing it truly as a legal status, who cares?

Anyhow, I feel sometimes as if I am caught in a battle of cultures. On one hand I have friends and aquaintances who try to defy the culture as much as possible, and yet will succumb to cultural mores like this as without even thinking. And then I have freinds and family who could care less, and dont even recognize either the legal issue as important, or the sacrement.

I wish to renounce my dependence on all cultures, both the classic local one (USA, caucasian, etc...) and the "Christian" ones as well (evangelical, charismatic, caucasian etc...). For the most part, I am finding lots of inconsistencies, and silly and vain traditions that have been handed down by well meaning people. I will work within society, and be respectful of others beliefs, and yet will strive to be defined by what God says to me, about me, and about Himself.

For right now, I think I will question authority until I see and understand if it lines up with the simple and clear message of Christ, which is LOVE. A Love more stern and splendid than mere kindness (as CS Lewis says). A Love NOT defined by society, sentiment, or lust, but not by the christian versions of that either. I experienced the violent love of GOD way before I heard someone else say it. And until I know more about love, and have more of it coming from me, and because I dont know HOW to love like this I will keep wrestling with it until God comes through delivering me. Then I will know and understand.

Comments are requested.