Bohlender/Steeno in 08

I would like to officially endorse a candidate for the 2008 Presidential Election.

Randy Bohlender has announced his choice for running mate, and has come up with a catchy slogan. These two things put him bald head and shoulder above any candidate already out there, and I think that is just ducky. Here are some things we know, or have heard, or just plain made up about his platform:

1. He has no party affiliation, but he likes a good party.

2. He believes in a strong bi-partisan gridlock, effectively bringing the government to an effective standstill allowing those of us who care the ability to truly engage self government the old fashioned way.

3. He is a staunch advocate for reducing our dependence on foreign ethanol. He has a plan to mix gasoline with it in order to help wean us off our deadly addiction to foreign "E".

4. He believes in relative Global Warming, especially in northern latitudes.

5. He doesn’t accept the argument that people are born skippers, but that they make choices to engage skipping, and can refrain if they wish. I have personally seen video tape with him interviewing the founder of the pro-skipping movement, and while I saw him "skip" he actually didn’t "inhale". Information can be found here

6. I did hear the phrase "World Peace through Aerobics" in his campaign headquarters, however most of his people looked like they are not members of any gym.

7. While rumors abound about his affiliation with a “Gun Club” there is no public evidence, and his position on gun control has yet to be determined, we do know that candidate Bohlender seriously opposes giving live ammunition to stupid people, effectively opening a door to true gun control.

All I can say is wow. I think Randy Bohlender provides a clear vision for homeo-politco-stasis, and is like a great bottle of wine: busy yet precocious, absurd yet flaccid, cheap, and full bodied. The Henrys urge you to join the campaign, and really constipate the wonderful federal republic we enjoy today.