Party Part Deux

California Party was fun. I actually feel more "married" now than I have so far. I realized how much, for me, marriage is something that is recognized by your people, not by the state. It isnt bad, just different. I loved our wedding in Ohio. It was very special to me for many reasons, the first of which it was Danielle's way of expressing herself, and I loved it.

For me, having htese people in my sphere come and recognize it with me, and celebrate it with me, is what cemented the fact I was married. I would feel just as married without the certificate (that we just got in the mail yesterday) now as I would otherwise. I think I am beginning to see a little more underneath some of the comments I made earlier.

Anyhow, when "Colour My World" played (one of my favorites, and what I consider to be one of the best written songs ever), I got to dance with my wife. And I found myself dancing in a group of married people. To my left was Jeff and Renee Hurst, whom I have seen from early marrieds, to first kid, to second kid, to established family unit. And I watched them dance together and love each other and enjoy each other. To my right I saw Ken and Jen Murray. I was there from the forst part, to the wedding, to living behind them and seeing htem get pregnant and their first babay. All the good bad and ugly. I saw Ken dance with his wife, and kiss her, and I felt so proud of him and them both! There were several other couples,a nd I realized a shift had happenned, and I was no among them, a man with a wife, amongst other married people, stopping to take time and simply enjoy being close enough with someone to look them in the eye, and touch bodies, and enjoy the special relationship we have in front of others withouth shame or embarassment.

My father made a toast (I wasnt aware all this was going to happen) and said some wonderful things about Danie. I know my Dad well enough to know he said things about me too, but I didnt hear them. But they love her a lot. And they have tremndous respect and confidence in her. That is something quite new and different!

And then it was load up and come home, where I stayed up most of the night with coughing kids. The reality is right there with the ideal.

We leave for Mexico today. We drive down to San Diego and Oosterdam with all the old folks. I will miss my kids, and be out of my element, but all the while with the woman that I love, and feel more connected to than ever.