So much provision

It all started with a prophetic word... about finances.

Watching the OneThing conference live on GodTV, Mr Bickle says (1st person God style) "I want integrity in your finances, I will be gentle with you".

I was touched. Most people (myslef included) would assume I have some integrity in finances. I try to be really carefule about how I conduct it, and definitely stay within the spirit of the laws etc...

But I realized some of my recent activities, while not illegal, were not consistent with what God wanted. And to change them right at that moment (Dec 28/29th) would be impacting financially, and make it difficult to do what was needed.

But I took the plunge. And then I started a fast. Because I realized I had gone from someone who could empty his bank account on an impression, who could see money as a simple tool, to who had seen God provide over and over again, to someone hardened, and fearful, and planning in my own strength. And I needed to get softer.

Within 2 weeks, I lost most of my main income. We were walking into a house that was in serious fix up need, and we thought we could get it for a song. As we walked in, I got a call on my cell, and it ended up being a call telling me I no longer had a job with a company, and lost several thousands a month.

And then a funny thing happenned. I felt as if God were repositioning me. I had felt like I had made a wrong choice in going to work with these people when I did. and I felt relieved. And a little shocked. I flet like it had been coming for a while, and it turns out they had too.

Since then, I realized we are in better shape than anyone would imagine. I think God kept us from buying a house, because by all indicators since then, the market isnt even close to the bottom. Master SOlutions is no picking up a little. Im back into the mode I had been for years, and it seems to be working.

Then at the end of the fast, God visits! I wasnt expecting this. I was fasting for a softening of heart. He comes and explains all sorts of things to me, how I am wired, why, what He wants me to do. All sorts of leadings and thoughts for years begin to make sense. And He re-prioritizes my life in a strange way.

I know many who have had seemingly opposite experiences. Im not saying this as if to say this is how it should be, but many things are being activated, and God is not just fulfilling things, He is being far more generous than I even realize. He is winning my heart again, and encouraging me to soften up and let Him work. I give Him an inch, and He takes a mile.

There have been other, very hurtful things that have happenned recently. Accusations of awful things, and trials we have gotten to go through. And yet I keep feeling HIM leading us. He is so much more than I deserve.