This is a fantastic story about adoption

This is the story of my friends the Phillips family. They are in this right now, and can use all the help and financial support possible If you wanted to ever see a miracle, or be a part of one, this will do it.

http://www.tmphillips.com/adoption/hope/the-story/

Its getting real all the tiiiiimmmmeeee....

Things are getting more.... real. Good, but more true, sharper, more solid.

Moving is becoming a reality. Thankfully, I/we planned very aggressively. Too Aggressively. Wouldnt you know it, but God is more generous and helpful than we believed????

And pregnancy is catching up with Danie. She is tired, and a little sick. Not throwing up sick, but a little nauseous. And her little tiny belly is getting a firm little pocket in there! She woke up the other day, and I looked at hear and realized she is probably the most beautiful woman I ever saw. She doesnt seem to think so, which is really to my advantage! My new nickname for her is "Mrs. Kansas City". I realized, thankfully, she cant be "Miss Kansas City".

The kids went to scholl for the last day yesterday. It is odd. I wish we had decided BEFORE they started school, but it wasnt possible. We had fun with it. At least I did. When I told the school district they were leaving, they asked me where they were going. I asked them "does it matter?". I almost asked them "Is it any of your business?", but I need to be polite.

I had an altercation with an old man a few days ago. My dog wasnt ont he leash, and I didnt see anyone else in the park. After we threw the ball for him, I looked up, and there was a couple with a dog. I was bummed because I knew if Zeb saw them, he might go over there, and I didnt want anyone to be offended. I tried really hard to keep calm and see if I could get him to come back to me. But he saw them, and took off. I shouted "He isnt agressive, hes a puppy, he loves other dogs". The lady looked at me like I was a criminal, picked up her dog, and they kind of freaked.

I ran over there, apologized, and they started yelling. I told them I was very sorry, I didnt see anyone there, and wouldnt have let him off the leash. They kept scolding me, and I tried to be really paitent. I got Zeb and Danie came to get him with the leash. The guy picked up the ball that Zeb had dropped, and threw it over my head into the trees! I was in such shock, I turned around, looked at him (It must have looked like I was going to kill him), and yelled "HEY".

He jumped back, and the look on is face was unreal. He looked like I just pulled out a gun. THANKFULLY, somehow I calmed right down. Normally, my impulse control problems seem to really short circuit at that point. Honestly. But somehow, and it had to be divine, I relaxed. But I think this old guy thoguht I was going to beat him.

I did grab his arm, but really gently, and told him "I dont know why you did that. It sure doesnt help things. If I were a belligerent dog owner who doesnt care about anyone else, that would have lit me up. Im totally wrong in this, but what you did didnt help".

The guy didnt waver. He kept coming verbally. I tried to calm the situation down. He was STUPID. I have never hit anyone in a fight type of thing in my life. I probably wouldnt be able to do it very werll! But if I hadnt calmed down,. I would have put my fist right through that guys chest. And I would have felt so bad and guilty! UGggggghhhh..

On the way home, I realized how much more I could have done to apologize. And how thankful I was for the look of fear on is face.Had he not reacted that way, I might have intensified the issue, and it would have been terrible.

You just dont realize what you are capable of. Had my flesh gotten its way, I could have hurt that man so badly, and carried that the rest of my life. It was MUCH better to be slighted. I was wrong the whole timem, regardless of what he did. I just couldnt believe after him getting the poop scared out of him, he wouldnt relent. And I cannot believe how fleshly I am. That isnt the kind of man I want to be.

I want to be like my new nephew Patrick, who defends his sister from high schoolers teasing her and scaring her in the pool, and protecting other kids from bullies at school. I want to be like Jesus, and love that guy so much right from the start that I dont have anything to repent from, and possibly even be able to rejoice becuase he tasted love and was better off even for a little thing like that.

Oh yeah

Be careful what you pray for, because God is way gooder than you realize...

Im a messssss.....

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5

It really doesnt matter what you turn from...

Repentance has nothing to do with what you turn from, only who you turn to...

No one in heaven cares what you turned away from, and they dont even think about it. You do.

Its all about the good part, not the bad. So lets get over ourselves, making separation and distinctions about our own sin, and lets focus entirely on Who we are turning to. Its all about the solution, not the problem.

The Little things

Yesterday praying for someone, I really felt like God explained something to me, and its an interesting concept.

God sees when we are fatihful in the little things. We always take that verse "He who is faithful with little will be given more". Different versions say it slightly differently.

Anyhow, I have always imagined this as "I will get lots of little things, and if Im faithful, I will get progressively more and more to be faithful with".

But in reality, life is a big bag of big and little things. And the truth is, when something is a big thing, we intuitively steward that more than other things. If we dont, then we are lazy, and slothful, a different issue. But when things are small, we tend to let those drift.

But God isnt like that. He loves every little thing. He tracks every sparrow, hair, and any other little thing.

So I think the underlying issue is God is saying "I track every little thing, and it is important to me as every big thing. And when I see you trying your best with the littler things, I can see how you desire to be like me. And by that, you are faithful and I will give you more."

I dont know if it means more things that are "bigger", or more "little" things, or maybe even more of something else entirely different.

But the point here is the idea of faithful. Not perfect. Not accomplished. Not even able. Just faithful. In the little things. The little yes and no things every day. And He sees them ALL. And He appreciates them ALL. And He rewards them ALL. Because He loves to reward. He loves to find an excuse to bless you, and love you, and increase you. And when the Father sees someone that desires (whether they are successful or not) to be like His son, He SMILES and sends even more to them.

Some people need to be encouraged in this. Every time you desire not to react to your children driving you crazy, and try your best just to dial down and help them, HE SEES. Every little gesture of hope or encouragement you offer, every little "cup of cold water", is instantly seen and heard in heaven, because thats exactly what Jesus is like.

My Babys back

Well, I mean she is back here. She has a great back (ummm....) but I mean shes coming home. Im going to get her in about an hour.

She has been gone far too long. But Joycelyn is worth it. And turns out Danie needed a trip, as it will probably be a long time before she can take off for 10 days by herself.

Life is about to change in so many ways, some of which I cannot list here yet. The baby sure will change things. My daughters are the BEST! It is going to affect them for sure, and yet they seem to be getting a little excited. A baby having a sister like Israel and Judah is going to have some of the best things in the world. YOu can see that already in their little cousins, who adore them.

Just think about a baby getting attention from Israel all day. That girls can make a baby squeal from 50 yards. And having a wild sister like Judah LION! Sheeesssh.

God is moving in our lives, in so many ways. In hindsight, this will be a tremndous season. At the moment, it seems wild and oscillating between hope and vision and "HOW IS GOD GOING TO PULL THIS OFF?". We have lots of friends who live much farther out than us, but for me, life is getting fun, and stretching me.

Life is Good

Life is good, and I just happen to be experiencing it consciously.

My girls and I are together for most of the next week at night and mornings. Their mom is working a lot (high time for bars and food places during the holiday and end of summer), and I get to have some time with just them.

Life is funny as well, as you dont realize how it subtly slips out of your hands. I probably havent spent this much alone time with my kids since I was married, but it used to be our normal life. Danielle has added so much to our lives, and the girls and I were talking about how good it has been. They both see really good things, far more than I can list here.

But there is something about isolating time with your kids, and just doing whatever, and enjoying each other. My kids are so fun, it is hard to describe. As the parent, and the "old man" Im a little slower, and a little grumpy. So I spend a lot of time catching up to my little personalities. But they are just a blast.

It has been just us for so long. Since June of 1998 (9 years) I have had the girls to myself.

At the very beginning for 1-2 years, I had them only about 35-40% of the time. It was so hard for me having a 7 month old and a 3 year old. Just going to Trader Joes felt like I was having a breakdown. There was so much going on in my life. I needed healing badly, and God was using this as the opportunity, so I was trying to be a parent while I was going through deep inner healing. I really felt like it was all I could do just to make sure they didnt die. I had so much internally (fear, anxiety, self hatred etc...) that I wasnt able to relax.

In retrospect, the kids were a lot better off than I thought in many ways. My hyper vigilance was false. But justmaking dinner, trying to give baths, put them to bed, it all seemed overwhelming.

Then we hit a magic time, right about when Judah hit 2-3. As soon as I didnt have diaper bags, things seemed easier. Along with it some thing were harder (Try the "Daddy I have to go to the bathroom" when it is just you, and you take 2 girls into a mens bathroom at the mall!!!). But my parents got us Disneyland passes, and Disneyland had family bathrooms. We could just pick up and go, and enjoy ourselves.

As time went on, it got a little easier and easier, and there was more routine. No more naps, the girls were a little more self reliant, and I was a little more busy. Going through a lot of healing, the worst of the breakdown was behind me, and God was starting to build a platform for my life to grow.

But I realize now, with the cessation of drama and intensity, I was filling my life up with things that wernt productive, and allowed me to disengage. A subtle internal shift away from interaction, and more isolation than I realized must have come in. Until Danielle came out here, I dont think I realized how I had been shutting off in little ways.

Now as Danie goes away for the longest time we have had apart, it is just me and the kids. And while I miss my baby a LOT (actually both my babies!), I am finding a renewed connection with my lovely girls. It is so much fun to be with them. Going to the store is fun, driving around, interacting with people. Just being. If you know them, you will realize what Im saying.

I love my kids. I am grateful I am with them. I ache at how many mistakes I have made, how many shortcomings I had in such critical developmental times in their lives, and how many still remain. Even last night in a sleep deprived state I said and did things I wish I hadnt. But I realize that regardless of those things, to be here right now, and enjoy them is precious.

I love my kids, but I also really LIKE them to. It is important to Love, but kids need to know you Like them too. And I need to tell them that again today.

Timing could be everything

Danielle is in Germany this week. Her (and our) good friend Jocelyn got married Friday to her wonderful man, and Danielle had to go.

So this may explain our little timing issue about telling people she is pregnant. I apologize. We told just immediate family (and 1-2 friends) until we could tell the kids. But we didnt realize that by me telling the kids after she left (to avoid any heavy meltdowns), it made it impossible to tell allt he people we wanted to personally, and now people are finding out via the Blog, because it costs 1.99/min for Danie to tell people directly until next Sunday.

We apologize to many close friends and family that are finding out via a Blog instead of a call. Our bad. It isnt intentional, we tried to manage it and it got out of our hands.

Its official

Danielle is pregnant. We have waited to make an announcement until I got to tell the girls.

We are a little surprised, and the joy is beginning to set in. Telling my kids was a little rough, there has been a lot of change in the last year. But the intensity of the change is already being overshadowed by funny thoughts and ideas like "I wonder if Danies belly wont get bigger, instead she will get taller!", and "Can we teach it to spit watermelon seeds really far so it can be a champion?". There is a names list already being started (not by me). Sofar the list is:

Micah
Shiloh
LaFawnda
Dawn


I find myself in a strange spot. It has been so long since I had a baby (7+ years) and I have never really thought about the reality of raising children again, let alone doing it with someone else, and experiencing this as a lot more healthy person than I was before.

God never gives us trouble with a blessing. although some blessing cause trouble from others people! At this point, it will be yet another adventure, and a bundle of joy at the end.

What is the Law?

So WHAT is it?

It isnt the "Torah", although that is the Hebrew word for "the law". But even in that respect it has several definitions, none of which seem totally definitive.

I have a feeling that isnt quite concious yet that "The Law" such as David referenced when he said "Your Law is Perfect" in Psalm 19, and many other references in our bibles, means far more than a list of rules.

In fact, Im betting the list of rules is an almost insignificant expression of "The Law" in that they represent only the simplest things, in words humans can grasp, and all of which could be summed up when Jesus explained that Love would fulfill all of them.

I seriousy need prayer and feedback and any help in investigating this, especially anyone with exposure to OT theology, or messianic jewish pracitce and thought. I beleive there is some keys waiting to get released in this for me, and the Body in general.

And to think, this all started with sitting in the IHOP hearing people sing Psalm 19, and me saying "God, I dont even pay attention to your Law, let alone think about it or like it. I think Im missing something, please help me".

2 weeks later, something like a common thread is pulling in all sorts of interior places. God is on the move in my heart.

Reply to Don

Hey Don...

Wheeee.... And you arent rude. I am open to honest and sincere input.

Some disclaimers:
First off, I am still processing this, and trying to wrap my head around it. I though I made it clear in there, but I might have missed that.

Second, as far as "out of context" I make no claim to subscribe to anyones personal exposition of scripture, or bias. I (like everyone else), loves proof texting when it suits me, and totally disregards it when I dont like it. Anyone who thinks they truly exegete well and doesnt miss context when it suits them is deceiving themselves! LOL.....


The only verse Im pretty sure I used out of context was the Revelations, and that, along with almost all the other references, was for metaphor, or symbolism, not theology. Thats important here, because I am not trying to build a theology or a message, simply stating som ething, and using examples and symbols of other verses that I found interesting.

It is odd to me the Paul, John and Peter use the symbol of a lion with regards to appetite and pursuit (leopards and tigers, bears, rodents and all sorts of other things are good symbols too for voracious and yucky critters, and some of them are around Israel) so I included it.

If I am trying to make a theological point with some of the other scriptures, and they are out of context, let me know, because maybe Im getting screwy.

Actually, this idea might be closer to a "Health and Wealth" message (not gospel, puhleeesseee) than anyone is comfortable with. It wasnt intentional, and yet I think there is some of it that sounds parallel. My paradigm includes the reality that some of the "Faith" message is actually true, but some of it gets dsitracted or too focused on certain things. Im that way with fundementalists, and charismatics, and all the other isms and ists and icss in the body. One add-on I need to make clear is, we are responsible for our sin, and sin has consequences. God does forgive, and gives Grace to the humble, but we still have the results. We reap what we sow. But in Christ, I am forgiven,a nd can stand confident in front of Him, and ask for HELP to fulfill my part. As I do that, I am clean and clear, and the rest is someone elses.

The main point here is, there is something bigger and more decisive in our walk than what we think. There is a lot more to this idea than I presented already, and I hope it will distill itself more. But think through this part:

1. God DID come to set people free, including deystroying the works of the devil (Im thinking John 10, numerous Isaiah passages etc..)
2. When He was here, He literally demonstrated it, and then facilitated the disciples to do likewise (interestingly enough before they even knew how to pray!).
3. He commanded us to follow Him in many ways, including loving HIm, loving one another, and going forth making disciples etc...

But my head/heart/mind (hopefully all the things Im seeking to know and love Him with) are beignning to peel back something, and seeing some underlying principles, one of which is JUSTICE.

Not only have I suffered at the hands of myself, my choices, my sin etc... I have also suffered at the hands of others. And behind all of it (ALL OF IT) is sin, and behind all the sin is the invitation of Satan.

Satan tempted Eve and Adam, and then they chose. For all sorts of reasons, (none of which are explicit in scripture, but we extrapolate things like Free Will, and the nature of Love and obedience) God allowed it. But it is unjust. The enemy, using the Law, stumbled us. We bit into it, but he presented it.

We were NEVER designed to live in sin, and the consequences are terrible. We arew ripped off from the true experience, purpose, life etc... that we were designed to have. We were LIED to, and WE CHOSE it. However, it was false.

Not only did we get ripped off, but so did God. God designed me for intimacy with Him, tobe loved by Him, and in His heart, He wants to be loved by me. All the sin in my life, caused by me, or thrust upon me, has one big result. It cuts me off from the very purpose I was designed for, and strangles me. And both God, and I are getting stolen from.

Interestingly, God is not mocked. Not ultimately at least. We know people do mock Him day and night, but scripture says He wont be mocked. I think it is is obvious that God designed something for His special use (Paul talks about that in Romans I think), but it gets hijacked, and used for something totally different. That is a theif.

But God wont ultimately be mocked. So what does that mean. I think the Law is perfect, and the Law convicts me of sin, and brings me to Justice, which then the Blood of Jesus fulfills. But once that occurs, the Law is my ADVOCATE, because it was designed with Justice in mind.

My sin is now taken care of, and now my part is to contend for Gods purposes (my little list up above). Now the Law works in MY FAVOR. anything I have done is atoned for in Christ, and I walk out my part with His help. Anything done againt me (or Him) I can bring as a petition to Him, and He who wrote the Law, is the Judge as well. He also is the ONE who enacts Justice on our behalf. He DESIRES Justice, and will eventually even come Himself and MAKE IT HAPPEN all the way down to even things like envrionmental issues.

Thsi is rambling on and on, but my point is that it isnt a name it and claim it scenario int he classic sense, but it is a point where I am beginning to realize God WANTS to do something, bith He and I have been injured in this, and positionally only He has the power currently to restore anything to righteousness. My part is to go before Him, and admit my part, be cleansed, and then ask Him to do what He wants to do. Just like in the Promised Land, He then gives me the way to walk, and give me His power to do what He wishes. But the enemy is bound by the law just like I was, and now the LAw is my advocate against him.

Dont know if I make any sense, and I know there must be lots of spelling errors. what do you think?

UnsysteMatic tHeologies of juStice and PrayEr

Well, Im am sifting through a lot thathas been building for years in me. I assume I will find people who already know this, or who could really help me expand my understanding on this. But I have a had a few requests to write this down, so that it could be simply presented. I would love ot hear others expound on it.

1. The Thief, and his food.
Prov 6:30-31
30 Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving.
31 Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold, though it costs him all the wealth of his house.
(NIV)

I have read other translations that say it even slightly different, but the basic idea here is we understand (not permit or accept!) the reality that a person steal when they are hungry, but when they do, they must pay back 7 times what they have stolen.

2. Who is the thief?
John 10:1
1 "I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber.
(NIV)
John 10:10
10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;
(NIV)

The thief is the devil, and those who do his work. He seeks to steal, and to incite others to steal.

3. Is the thief hungry?
1 Pet 5:8
8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
(NIV)

He walks around hungry, looking for anything he can eat.

2 Tim 4:17
17 But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth.
(NIV)

Paul uses the concept of the Lions Mouth that was chasing him, and seeking to devour him as he shared the Gospel.

Rev 13:2
2 And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority.
(KJV)

The beast has a mouth like a lion.

4. What is his food?
Gen 3:14
14 So the LORD God said to the serpent, "Because you have done this, "Cursed are you above all the livestock and all the wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life.
(NIV)

Gen 2:7
7 the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.
(NIV)

Man is formed from the dust, and the enemy is cursed and forced to eat the dust all the days of his life.

5. The redemption-Summary
The enemy walks the earth like a hungry lion, seeking to steal and kill and destroy. His food is the dust of the earth, and he is ravenous. Mankind is made from the dust of the earth, and is essentially the enemy’s food.

The enemy prowls the earth looking to eat mankind. We understand this is the way it works. We know the routine. We all understand the enemy is seeking us out, to see if he can devour us. We don’t say it is ok, but we do know it is the way things work.
HOWEVER, when he is caught, he must repay back 7 times what he has stolen, even if it costs him everything.

Whatever the enemy has EVER stolen, time, money, faith, hope, love, intimacy etc… WHEN he is caught, he must pay back 7 times what he stole, even if it bankrupts him.
The foundation of Gods throne is Justice. As we bring the enemy before Him, we can ask for 7 times what has been stolen from us. It is Gods role to adjudicate, and then enforce the sentence.

Not only that, but we can extrapolate this concept, and ask for revelation of any place in our life we have been stolen from. As Holy Spirit reveals this to us, we go quickly to the JUST JUDGE, and start the process.

There is so much more to expand on. Think about Leviticus. Everything is set up that when something is stolen, we get more back than we lost. And on the other side, whenever we give, we get more back.

The economy of the Kingdom is geared to our benefit. And also the enemy’s. He knows these laws, and uses them against us. He accuses us in front of God, Jesus even uses a similar example about casting demons out, and them coming back with 7 OTHERS. It is as if the enemy gets cast out, but says “I had a RIGHT to be there, and I was kicked out unjustly. See they haven’t put anything back in there, so I have a right to go back, and bring more than what I lost!”

We must begin to rise up, and ask God to reveal to us anywhere we have stolen, admit it, repent, and ask for Grace. In Christ, we can stand in Gods court, and petition for justice where we have been stolen, until the enemy has to go oppress someone else because he keeps losing more than he gains. Then we start to GIVE, and we get even more return!

My Favorite Danie

Every time I see this picture, I think about how much I love and enjoy my wife. I cannot explain all of it, it is more a feeling.

I remember when God helped me realize certain things about loving like this. Im not saying I can actually love like this, but I catch pieces of it experientially. Its kind of like this:

Question: Why do you love your wife?
Answer: I just do.

See. I cannot tell you why. I can tell you that I do. And this is the key....

Do you notice that God NEVER says (that I can think of) "I love you because...."

In fact, I cannot think of one thing God says when He talks about Love that is qualified by the recipient.

What I do see is this: "I Love things ABOUT you like this....(ala Song of Songs)"

There are a lot of things I like/love about Danielle. I could list them, and spent some time recently in Kansas City with people who traded lots of them with me.

But now I think I see a little bit about God's Love. If He loved me because I was obedient, as soon as I failed, He wouldnt love me anymore. If He loved me because I was attractive, as soon as I got older, He would stop etc...

But He doesnt love me for a reason based on me/myself, only Him. I dont think He ever explains WHY, He just DOES. I can bless Him, and I can even ravish His heart, but He will always Love me because He does.

so as great as my wife is, and as many wonderful things there are about her, I think I get it more now than ever.



However, when it comes to "Why do you love her?". I just do.

I cannot beleive Im saying this...

Normally when I go to some place outside Los Angeles, I might experience a little more spiritual freedom. Or at least not as much spiritual resistance. Los Angeles has a certain atmosphere that can be hard to operate in for me.

Coming back from Las Vegas, I experienced a progressive clearing of the spiritual atmosphere like nothing I have experienced. The farther away I got, the more my head/heart cleared up.

Im actually relieved to be home. I need to come to grips with how immature and weak I am in my walk.

2 things I think I realized.

1. Las Vegas is so false, that as soon as any serious problem emerges, it will fold. You would think surviving in the desert like that would make people tough. I think because of the dependence on the immorality of people, they have become very wealthy and able to overcome the situation. Have a significant drought for instance, lasting a few years, and when water rationing goes real, that place will fold up and become a dustbowl.

2. The Christians who thrive there, will be able to thrive anywhere. To maintain a vigilant, open heaven in an environment like that (a spiritual desert) must form and create in people such an intense ability to persevere, they will be able to endure.


God can keep anyone from falling away, I see that better now. And by turning toward Him, we can thrive. Some people may end up very grateful they lived in that city (and many others around the world like San Francisco, New Orleans etc...). As things become more unstable, most of these beleivers are probably ging to laugh and enjoy the ride.

A Call to go to Las Vegas

Im in Las Vegas right now. Not for THE CALL, but because of a Call...

Im at a trade show for the woodworking industry, helping out where I can to sell the fledgling software I built. I have done this 3-4 times at a large trade show. Everyother year it is in Las Vegas, and opposite years it is in Atlanta.

I have always liked Vegas. Aside from all the ugly parts of it, frankly I enjoy gambling a little, I enjoy all the activity, and the food! I actually cry a little when I see the beauty of the Bellagio fountains at night, and some of the shows (Cirque Du Solieil) are just amazing. In fact the Mystere show was the closest things I have seen to some heavenly visions I have had!

This time though, Im hurting a little. As I flew in, I flew over Sam Boyd Stadium, and prayed over it as The Call is possibly going to be there soon, if it doesnt change venues due to the heat.

As you look down at this vast sprawl in the middle of nowhere, you begin to realize just how false this WHOLE place is. The volume of water used here is atrocious, and imported from the river. The eletricity is unreal. The amount of people here is amazing.

And the and prostitution! I had forgotten this part. As I walked down the street to a restaurant, I was inundated with flyers on the ground, and in news racks every block, with graphic pictures, and with my background I know exactly what is waiting inside these things.

What is odd is I have been able to ignore them all the other times, and actually just detatch myself from them. Heck, this year I even went to the BurningMan regional just down the highway, and had no issues (in fact I had a harder time in a prayer meeting when I got back, than I did around the Burners as far as wandering eyes and avoiding ).

What has changed? A lot of fasting and prayer this year. In fact most of the year. And hearing at The Call some of the massive percentages of affect immorality has had in the Body worked me. I have a terrible background in this, and have had a lot of healing, and being married and my soul feeding on intimacy (not just ual!) with a healthy woman has really insulated me from all of this for a good long time.

And so here I am (rambling), being inundated with this unreal volume of distortion, I find myself unable to see or understand how it is possible to get away from it. I watched a movie on TV, and even though it wasnt graphic, I felt like it was spoiling my mind, and grieving God. So as I changed the channel, there was something ont he channel that was so graphic (I think I realized later it is a cable show about a prostitution house in Nevada,and they were in the rooms...). I finally had to just turn everything off, curl up in my bed and try to sleep and avoid everything! I have no idea how to overcome in this. I have almost no ability to see how God wcan/will change this.

And when I did, I had dreams of casting out demons out of children, and things were coming out of me as well.

And so now? I go try to navigate eating food that wont kill me, and deal with a mass of humanity, in the middle of a place that is literally greiving the Spirit by its existence due to its tolerance and practice of overt immorality.

But the reality is, it is inside us all, and here they just broadcast it. It is supply and demand, and given the right situation, all of us would go for this in some way or another. And the Body is into it as well,a nd the flesh revels in this.

Try to make it to The Call Sept 1. Indoor, outdoor, wherever. At least stand in agreement with it. I think it is more symbolic than the other calls I have heard about. It strikes into the heart of the manifestation of immorality more than any other region, or city.

The Call

It was significant, yes. When God calls a meeting, and you wander around an unfamiliar city seeing tens of thousands of people, from lots of different places, all intentionally not eating, viewing media, and/or even more intense things than that, milling about hours before sitting 12 hours outside in 80+ degrees at 70+ percent humidity, you stopped playing games.

It was fun as well. The Body, in all its various forms, in one place, is profound. From the Jericho walkers walking around and around the stadium, to the busloads of young people with matching outfits proclaiming one commission or another (like "I was made for war"), to the shofar people, to the toungue talking/devil chasing/faith speaking bible belters, to the LIFE band wearing, tape across their mouths, silent siegers, you get a small glimpse of the tremndous diversity of the Body, and the delight of God.

It was hard. The heat was hard. The sitting and listening to people for hours talking about profound things until your head turns off. Coming to grips with the reality of the stench of pornography, child abuse, death, and murder in and out of the Body. The burden of Israel and the cup of trembling she is to drink much sooner than we wish, and the reality that although God loves us, He loves us enough to judge us. It is hard.

It was worth it.

Some neat things...

We didnt know Mike Bickle was really a burly, 40 foot tall football player.

8am in the Stadium



Afternoon



What Heaven looks like...

So whats it like?

People often ask me, due to the distinct privilege of spending time in the "inner circle" (more like "inner dodecahedron") of the Bohlender clan...

"Whats it really like to be around people like that?"

I will admit, there is a certain mystique about the "Familar de Bohlender", and to be as honored as I am, to occasionally pierce throguh the veil and see into the "chambers" as it were, I realized I needed to share some of the heady, surreal, and often times "high octane, code red" environment that people dont get to see.

Form follows Function

Please wait as I step up on my soapbox...

Often, function follows form. But that is wrong. God’s design requires function to be primary. The purpose of something is far more critical than the WAY something is carried out, excepting the characteristics of the form (i.e. Love)

God created man… why? To give Himself something. In fact I believe it was to make something He could give His Love and affection to. Literally the object of His affection. He wanted to share Himself in many ways and forms.

Therefore when Man was created, the form in which he was created was important as to the Function, not vice versa. God did not create a bunch of forms, and then find a function for them. We see time and time again that God has tremendous plans and intentions that make the apparent capriciousness of our experience a silly conclusion.

Mankind’s form was created exactly, fearfully, wonderfully to fulfill its function.

The Church is the same way. The Church exists for the Kingdom, and the Will of the King. Its Function is predetermined. But in common practice, the form of the church takes preeminence, and perpetuates itself often at the expense of the function.

What is the purpose of the Church? I believe it is clearly stated in Ephesians, and that is to demonstrate to the principalities and powers the work completed in Christ. But how?

So much attention is spent on how the church gathers, but in reality, the Church exists whether it gathers or not. The church depends on God for it’s function, and exists at the Will and Whim of God. The church gathered isn’t more the church than when it is not gathered. The function of the church, regardless of form, remains constant.

The form of the church is even less detailed. In fact, for the most part, the New Testament only describes attributes of behavior, and examples of how people gathered, but very little is stated about how one SHOULD gather. It simply says to gather, and when gathered, the chief characteristic should be evident as it should in an individual…. LOVE.

Everything fruitful comes from Love. Without it, nothing is fruitful But the Bible does not mention that you should gather in a particular way, doing specific things, and following a form (or format). Paul primarily addresses this in corporate settings, and most of his attention is centered on individual behavior, not style of form.

Why is this so important? Because Form is the only part we can control, and it is the main point we all fight and disagree about. It is the root cause of dissention and division, and has rendered the Body far more impotent than we think.

Every time I have a conversation about form (“Who are you submitted to? Who is your covering? Women cannot be teachers. What do you mean “God told you? We need more “worship”! We need more prayer!” etc…) in the place of function, it twists scripture, muddles the simplicity of the message of Christ, degrades the headship and unique position of Christ, and sets the focus on our convictions, rather than our purpose.

My purpose is ordained by God, and the form it takes must be subservient to the function. I should constantly be examining the form of what I do, let alone the characteristics, so that I make sure the function is still being carried out. Most people don’t even feel sure about their function, and therefore continue to behave more like small minded, petty, squabbling ushers in a movie theater with a flashlight than a Prince or a Princess of the Almighty King.

Once you KNOW your function, you will be secure enough to let the form follow the function. In fact, the form will become irrelevant as long as the function is accomplished.

At the risk (intentionally) of being offensive, stop it! All of us! Stop condescending to endless and vain debates with insecure people, about ridiculous topics, than simply keep you from fulfilling your simple and sure calling! Namely, to Know God more deeply. to experience and grow in HIm, and express this to everyone, especially invisible rulers and powers that look at you in shock and fear! Stop living beneath your high and glorious calling.

And I dont mean be "in full time ministry" If you dont realize you already are, then stop, go back to the basics, and ask God to show you this simple truth. You exisit at the Will and Whim of Lord Jesus. His thrill is to save you, deliver you, enjoy you, and then let you loose to do the same with any and everyone you meet, in the special unique way you were made.

So stop competing with your odd vision of being something or someone else. Stop debating about how you gather, and start being who and what you are. Examine the characteristics of HOW YOU BEHAVE, and what your MOTIVES are, instead of how long some well meaning man talked about a bible verse, or a guitar player played, or sister Sallys kids behaved.

I will now stop my rant and step down from my soap box.