Havah.... Its whats for dinner

Took this one at about 4:50 am today.

This is what my mother in law does at my house

Sitting in the big chair, talking to a sister, holding Havah. I took this after 2 hours. Thent he lady goes and does all my dishes.

It is a hard life I have here.

more pics

Christina put up a bunch of Kathys pictures on a site.

http://picasaweb.google.com/helloortega/HavahPearlineJoy?authkey=PDov4kpYhtc

A quick Pic

Here she is. Not the best picture of her actually, but its a start. Trust me, there are already 50+ and movies on Kathy Wheelers camera. It looks like she is a redhead, which is wild. We will see. Shes pretty happy, breastfeeding, and pooping. Definitely a Henry.

Danielle did a textbook Bradley labor and delivery. It was amazing to have such a supportive staff in a hospital. We had a phenomenal midwife team that really blew me away. And the labor nurses were very kind and supportive.

It was rather stressful dealing with the possibility of aspirated myconium. The baby was immediately taken to a tray and scoped and sucked out and fussed over for a good 10 minutes. It was a little touch and go there, and I was overwhelmed. Thank GOD things were fine. She seems not affected at all, and can definitely breathe and scream with the best of them.

Recovery seems good. Baby and Mom are doing well, and dont seem out of the norm, which is VERY important in a hospital. Im tired, but we did sleep some, so Im ready to get OUT OF HERE.

Things are well. We just ate again, after sleeping about 3 hours. She wouldnt sleep until I picked her up, and then wouldnt sleep until I carried her about for a while. Then she crashed with me. We have done this twice, just me and her crashed out in my little fold out chair. She seems to like it with me, and thats good!

I Love my Israel and my Judah so much! They came first to see her, and Havah seemed to be just fine with them holding her. She is one lucky girl to have older sisters like that. Judah already have plans for her...

http://judahland.blogspot.com/

I think we will come home today, and rest as much as possible. Thankfully, I had no appointments or crises today at work, and I hope for tomorrow as well. Im anxious to get back to TDA for my class on CHOCOLATE!!!!

Its a girl

Havah was born 9:14 am 6lbs 9 oz 18.5 inches.

We had a little trouble right at the end. Mycnium was present all the way through, and they didnt like how she wouldnt scream. I was able to cath her, and went with her to the little toaster and helped her breathe and was with her while the team did their thing. She seems fine now.

This is consistent with a dream a friend had months ago, and it wasnt entirely unexpected. It seems like things are great.

Will update asap.

Yep its labor

Here we are at Shawnee Mission Labor and Delivery....

7 cm dialted, bag of waters still tact, progressing very well. Danielle is doing very well, doing her best to relax, and feeling the birth. Im amazed.

Will update soon.

Hmmm....

Now I'm up at 1:45 am!

Danielle woke me up and said she is having slightly painful contractions that only went away when she got up and walked around and ate. They are repeatable etc... and increasing in their pain, so there is a good chance this is the beginning.

The problem is, NOW IM AWAKE. I dont know how to relax to well. I just filed the taxes electronically, but I need to make a deposit, and mail off the returns as soon as I get notification. Thankfully, I have no appts this week yet, so we will see...

I might not get to update before the "kid hits the cervix", but at least I documented it. 4/15/08, 1:34 am, Havah seems to be starting her short little journey out. We odnt know how soon, but we know it is a lot closer. We will try to be patient.

Adoption Agency Guidleines from the consumer

I think it is time for the demand side of the adoption marketplace to create a set of guidlines Adoption Agencies have to follow in order for those of us who wish to adopt to give them our money and time.

In any market, there is a concept of efficiency. In essence, this idea means the market itself will correct based on the dynamics at play. One of the dynamics, is the price as well as the customer.

I believe we should start a dialog amongst active adotpion couples, agencies, and consultants and create a list, similar to here.

Here are some examples....

1. Any Adoption Agency participating in this must be a fully "not for profit" venture, whether they are in fact a 501c3 corporation or not.

2. Each agency participating must have at least an annual financial disclosure including a balance sheet, an income statement, and a profit and loss statement, publicly available for all prospective adoptive people.

3. Each Agency will disclose ALL salary, dividends, and payouts to all board members, owners, and employees.

4. Each Agency will maintain a maximum of xxxx% overhead and admin costs including marketing, office and support supplies, etc...

5. Each agency will have a clearly written and communicated policy about the actual costs for adoptions, including any method of pricing changes for "hard to place" children. This would mean explaining in actual terms and numbers, as well as policy, how the agency handles and disperses monies that might be more than actual costs for "easy to place" children for "hard to place" children. If indeed, the agency does not have a policy for this, they will be disqualified.

5. Each agency will have the director or officiating board member sign and post a copy of "Articles of Compliance and Intent" that we create, and renew it every year.


This is a start. I would love to hear input from all of you. I dont know how to arrange it and process it, as blogs arent the best way. I have a new website called adoptionrelief.com, and I can set up a message board there etc... soon.

Im a wreck

compared to my last post, this man has jumped on a grenade almost every day for the last year. If you dont believe in justice, his story is something to ignore.

If you believe that God counts every gasping breath, every minute of confusion, every demonic cackle when you lungs are sucking and struggling for air
, or the grief of being a parent watching your child suffer, or your baby girl fight just to stay warm at 1lbs, then you realize the immense accounting coming at the end of the age. When the last enemy is put under, when the disrupter and the defiler is presented in front of all creation, everyone with a case against sin, sickness, death, and distortion will have every single act of oppression resulting from his influence answered with justice.

Not only will eternal punishment be handed out, but an offsetting action will be released fromt he right hand of YHWY. HE will not only punish His enemies, but HE will give back more than what was stolen. HIS LAW requires it. HE will not be bribed away from it. HIS Vengance and HIS MERCY and GENEROUS HEART WILL GIVE into the black hole.

http://cfhusband.blogspot.com/

Medal of Honor

I heard this story today and was struck. Regardless of the position people have on the war, this story is so self sacrificial.

http://www.navy.mil/search/display.asp?story_id=36049


Imagine going into a situation like this. You HAVE to believe the other guys would do this for you. In fact, you might even believe that they would try to do this in your place if they could. This kind of action is unbelievable. Even more so considering this young man was 25 years old.

I think of the kids at The Call School, I think of the Daniel Academy. I think "Am I ready, willing, and able to do this for someone, let alone someone I love?".

Cool Comment

This was posted from an entry a while back, so I thought I would bring it forward. You can read her blog here

"As a child-centered ministry, Buckner’s goal is to serve pregnant women and their unborn children in such a way that the children’s lives are affirmed and that they are parented in the best way possible. Thus, we serve a large number of pregnant women who inquire about adoption but who, after counseling, decide to continue to seek a way to parent.

Only a small percentage of the clients we serve actually make adoption plans for their unborn babies – but almost all decide to give life. We provide these services at no cost. Therefore, the fees we charge adoptive parents must cover the services to all the pregnant women, not just the one whose baby they adopt.

Indeed, prospective adoptive parents who work with us become a part of Buckner’s ministry to pregnant women and their unborn babies."You are charged on a sliding scale based on your income ... if you have more to give, you are expected to do so ... equal sacrifice. You are not paying for an adoption - you are giving your part to the ministry, which encompasses much more than a child that may be entering your home. "


They make it very clear that every woman entering their doors is counseled first to parent. If every avenue has been exhausted, then and only then is adoption discussed.Your money may also go to help place a child with special needs or a waiting child into a home that may not have the funds to cover their full fee. They don't apologize for that. In fact, they take pride in it.


Find this adoption agaency and use it for your adoptions!!!!!!

More thoughts on adoption

The more and more I think on this, and talk it out, the more and more galvanized I become. It isnt a judgment thing, it is more a conviction for me personally, and my take on the situation.

1. I believe it is better to birth a child than to kill it. For lots of reasons from the theological aspect, to the social. Take Planned Parenthood. It is clear their founder was a racist, and her intention was to slowly eliminate black people specifically, and others by implication. Planned Parenthood has more locations in economically disadvantaged areas, primarily black, than anywhere else. The most dangerous place for a child for "african-american" ethinicity is a mothers womb, where 2 out of 3 children are murdered. The social implications of an ethinic minority killing their own generations is reason enough to stop, even if you dont have a theological ground for anti-abortion.

2. It is better for the natural mother to parent her baby if possible. This is MORE of an investment than adoption, and requires even MORE effort in some cases. It is still better. Dont sugar coat the issue. As great as adoption is, as inherent as it is to the Gospel, to the message of love, to overall righteous behavior, any child wants their own natural mother first, and will hurt deeply if separated.

3. It is better to adopt than to leave children in compromised situations of abuse or neglect. No matter how redemptive, adoption should NEVER be the first choice offered, or the place where finances and social support are initiated. It should be offered far earlier than this.

4. We dont love people for a result. Our role model never "loved people into the Kingdom". He loved. period. We dont love children, mothers, others etc... so that something occurs. We must love them because we do, and we will not be restrained. Jesus is frankly crazy, and intimidating in this regard.

The work of the church should be involved far earlier than these above situations, and we should take the reality of widows, abandonded children and mothers, and orphans as a slap in the face, and a comment about our unfaithfulness and lack of understanding of how we are loved, and how God is earnestly desiring to give us everything we need to love them.
If we do not see this, we have fundemental flaws not only in "theology" but in actual practical relationship.

Awesome feedback,....

"While I have been praying over adoption and thinking it a God thing, my heart breaks. I remember what I felt after birthing my child and I can't imagine giving him up. But I was in a situation where I was loved and cared for and safe. It is not like that for all women. Fear can be such a vehicle for human decisions. But if we (the BRIDE) could love more, I have to hope that it would be all the difference to a women facing these decisions. 1 John 4:18"

Absolutely!!! If indeed God knows how to lead those with young gently, we had better as well.

"It is true that some women are forced into giving up their children for adoption, but it isn't always at the hand of the "business" side of things. Often, it is by the natural mother's family. "

That is a great point. We need to make sure we dont take for granted the type of adoption. I know people with open adoptions, closed, and REALLY open (like regular dialog and visits with the natural mother). These are critical. In our haste to adopt and such, we cannot forget the reality that to be a woman in this istuation is unlike any other situation.

I have a belief that goes even further. I believe that most of the "theology" perpetuated by institutional churches is largely misogynistic. I love my spiritual family, but I disagree on a lot. When we take things like women, and we treat them as any different status wise (and try to explain it off as "God") we end up perpetuating an atmosphere that devalues women, and puts them in modes where decisions that are difficult normally, are downright impossible.

I actually know a woman who was pregnant, went to Georgia to have the baby and pick out the perfect adoptive parents. She found the ultimate couple (who were bi-racial in the same exact way as the baby (south american btw...)), and made a quality decision to care for this baby, and make as healthy an environment as possible. She actually was accosted IN A CHURCH by an older woman yelling at her that she might as well KILL THE BABY as adopt it out. What a wounded, broken lady to say this.

Now this is radical, and over the top, and I realize it. However, I only know a a very small amount of women who ever adopted out a baby, so this is a high percentage for me. I also know a woman who lived with a family for 9 months, at at the end decided to keep her child. He is now 15-16 years old, and she struggle through this with her own issues etc... and it is a testament to how a simple sacrifice for a few months could be more powerful than adoption.

The issue really is this... honoring women. If they are pregnant, or not. Honoring them and providing all the support they need, and helping them through these decisions only they can make. And adoption should be the last result, not the first pitch made to her.

Why I beleive the Adoption Industry is Human Trafficking Part 3

I did some investigating and found loads of websites of adults against adoption! Wow. Most of these were natural mothers (they prefer to use that term rather than "birth mothers" and I understand why after reading their thoughts), and they honestly feel manipulated into giving up their children by the adoption industry. They actually feel like they were the victims of predatory practices by individuals involved in the business of poaching babies from women for couples who were infertile.


Just the thought of it makes me feel sick. I do NOT believe that is the majority, nor do I believe people I know that have adopted have ever willingly participated in this practice. To be honest, I dont personally know anyone with adopted kids that dont have "natural" children. Im sure there are some, I just havent met them yet.

But there was some interesting points in this. As a person interested in adoption because of a command to work with widows and orphans, when is a child truly an orphan? That was the main crux of the problem as I read it.

Adoption itself is focused on the reality of a child without any parents or "natural" family. The point of it is to walk in Gods heart for people, and people without family are something He doesnt leave alone.

So the real underlying issue is... We should be encouraging women to birth and raise their own babies. We should be facilitating that at every opportunity. I know this already, but reading these articles brought it back in focus. The reality is, helping a single mother raise her own child is the single best thing to do about the issue of Life.

We shouldnt try to sugar coat adoption. Adoption is the last resort. IT is a beautiful thing, however it is a grevious thing. The fact it exists at all is hurtful. We cannot just focus on the reality of wonderful, loving families as if that is the only aspect. There was great injury in the whole process. And God forbid we did "business" with anyone who influences a woman to give up her child for their commission.

This is where I think my heart has gotten to after thinking and feeling my way about this for a long time. Im not for adoption of newborns in most cases:

1. For one, the potential for manipulation of a woman in crisis is high. I think every attempt should be made to help that woman to parent her child, and all efforts should be put there first.

2. As I understand it,we are so desperate for someone not to have an abortion that we push adoption as the alternative. However, we need to understand that the best thing (and the most expensive, difficult, and personally costly thing) we could do is actually help a single mother (think widow here) grow into motherhood fully respected and empowered to live herself,a nd with her child, regardless of any personal faith decisions or values she would embrace past things that endanger the child.

3. Newborns are easier to adopt out than any other child. Almost everyone I know goes after newborns. While some dont get adopted Im sure, the point is that is where the market is.

4. Children a few years old and more are clearly orphans. They have been abandoned. They were the newborns that either didnt get selected, or they were put in situations that didnt work.
I think this is more towards the bottom of the issue for me. The fact that mothers feel manipulated doesnt mean they were. Hard to say, but true. Im sure some WERE. That is sick, and to stand before God with that makes me shudder. But painting the whole industry with a broad brush and claiming all of it is wrong based on the pain and true anguish of a group isnt correct.

However, take their cries, and listen. Listen to the reality that there is a deeper issue even underneath adoption. It is the cry of a (mostly young) woman, caught in a snare. That is the first problem. The baby isnt the problem, the situation of the woman is. If we are to be wild lovers of people, we cannot bypass this part and say that is for someone elses "calling". It is our first one. Then adoption.

Before I go any further....

Im ranting and raging about adoption costs etc... however I want to reiterate. I know people (Tracie Loux being the #1) who are so earnest about helping, and have such a heart for helping babies get adopted that it is important to separate the people who are earnest, from the industry itself.

These faithful people are enduring this "industry" and working with a failing system to persevere in the work of placing children. Im sure there are people to criticize and critique, but the faithful ones are not the issue.

Lets make sure we keep this in perspective.

Why I believe the "Adption Industry" is the Human Trafficking Part 2

Lets critique some of the ideas communicarted about adoption....

1. Agencies "discount" their fees for adoptions based on ethnic backgrounds, or other issue affecting adoptibility.

Im going to be blunt here. As a small business consultant, I regularly deal with the issues of operating overhead costs, profit margins, sales pricing, market demand etc... and I dont buy this explanation.

It is fundementally impossible to do business at a rate that does not cover overhead.

Scenario A
If you sell widget A at $15,000 and widget B at $39000 and the costs are THE SAME for your overhead (lets say $13000), the your profit on widget A = $2000, and your profit on widget B is $26000, or a combined total of $28000.

If all you have is demand for widget A, you still make a profit, just not as much.

Scenario B
If you sell widget A at $15,000 and widget B at $39000 and the costs are THE SAME for your overhead (lets say $30000), the your profit on widget A = -$15000, and your profit on widget B is $9000, or a combined total of -$6000 and you are out of business.

If all you have is demand for widget A, you have no business to worry about.

It is simply fallacious to say that anyone "discounts" their fees. Lets say it like it is... they "discount" their SALE PRICE. And the average of their PROFIT MARGIN simply needs to be in the positive. Essentially there is a "tax" on buyers of widget B, or a "premium", or an "upcharge". The costs are the same, but they choose to discount their price on certain products because it is offset by the profit on other products.

That is called a LOSS LEADER. It is the 2 bags of tortilla strips for $5 around Cinco De Mayo so you buy 3 jars of salsa that have a high profit margin, and 2 12 packs of beer.

Lets reword this. Lets say Im a pimp. I have 3 prostitues, 1 gorgeous ex model, 1 average looking, and 1 disabled woman. The price is so high for the ex model, but the demand is still there. Good marketing and price setting on my part. The average looking woman doesnt have the same demand until the price comes down. I set the price to keep the demand as high as possible without losing money. My disabled hooker is so undesirable, that I have to "discount my fees" to make sure she gets a fair shot at income.

That sound like B.S. doesnt it? If I didnt make enough on any one of them, I would get rid of them.... Crass and crude, but in my mind pretty close to it.

If the process is the same for a caucasian as another race, but the "fee" is different, we should just simply say outright "The fee structure varies because of demand, and we discount our service prices and make it up on other adoptions to cover the costs".

Im not accusing anyone of lying. Im simply stating that this adotpion industry is a flat out market, and a pretty efficient one at that. And lets not say "we discount our fees", lets say it for what it is "We cannot get the price we want, so we charge differently based on our assesment of what the market will bear".

I do this ALL THE TIME with companies.

Why I believe the "Adption Industry" is the Human Trafficking Part 1

Tracie Loux, whom I love dearly, has written a great post on costs of adoption here. Tracie is an absolutely legitimate, caring person whom I heartily endorse to help with Adoptions. What I am about to say should not be taken as an attack against her, or the agency she works for etc... Read her blog post, and then follow my thoughts here.

Human Trafficking is the exploitation of humans for gain, typically financial. Most often, it is the use of weaker individuals, especially helpless, constrained, or disadvantaged.

Therefore, I believe that if I make a personal profit from the use of any human outside of their will and involvement, I am at least running the risk of participation in this, if not outright doing it.

It isnt enough to list the costs. The issue is WHY the costs exist, and what the profit is. I assume that most people involved in adoption do so because they care about it. But Im not convinced 100% of them are motivated by concern. Not only that, the burden of proof is on the agency to demonstrate they do not profit from this. "A workman is worth of his wages", this is true. However, there is a realistic limit on how much wages is righteous.

I am coming to the conviction that any adoption agency should make public their accounting, including specifically salary related to directors and executives. Any adoption agency that is not a non-profit corporation, business, should demonstrate they are effectively a "not for profit" business and expose any salary related disbursements. All Adoption agencies should be 3rd party audited if they make any claim to be non-profit, or not for profit.

How many agencies are willing to take this challenge. I bet next to none.....

Its time to give....

http://storinguptreasuresinheaven.blogspot.com/


Read this blog for the last few weeks. Then give me money. Seriously. OR send to to them directly via paypal. If you need a tax deduction (And I reccommend it) contact me.

If you are adopting, sow into someone elses adoption. If you plan on adopting, sow into this so you have a harvest. If you arent going to adopt, give into this because it is right to support neglected and abused children finding homes in loving families. If you dont believe in GOd, or beleive there is one, do this because the universe recognizes what you are doing. If you claim to be a follower of Christ give with joy because you are required to.... Tell your friends and your communities about this one. $5 helps. $50 helps.

Im not ashamed to ask for money for orphans.... ever. And I dont ask you to give into something I havent. They need $5000+ dollars because the human trafficking of children requires their own pimp fee. I will post later on that, but trust me, this is a racket that is totally out of line.

The real deal

Finally, real BBQ. Thanks to Nick, we went to L C's BBQ. It was by FAR the best BBQ I have had so far. Jacks Stack is good, theur Baby Backs are hard to beat. This place was sooo good it put it overthe top. Awesome Onion Rings, good fries, excellent Burnt ends, Excellent Ribs cooked all the way, Smoked Beef.

This is the place.


Our trip to Chicago was fun. Longer drive than anticipated, we ended up going right to the resturant. Tompolobampo was the best mexican food I have ever had. In reality, it is so far beyond normal mexican that it is like comparing 2 totally different concepts. Kind of like a nylon string guitar vs. an electric guitar.

We had a 5 course tasting menu. Danie got a different on than me, and I got the wine paring. The wine paring was so well done I was beyond surprised. Things were matched so well you could really experience the difference with and without the wine.

Danielle and I stumbled out of there and went to our hotel. Our hotel was a little odd. Chicago is quite a neat place, especially downtown. Our hotel was trying hard to be hip, and yet they played 80's music in the hallways, which was weird. I was up a good part of the evening. That much food, with that much com[plexity is more than I can handle. We plan to never go out liek that without digestive enzymes!

I hung with my beautiful wife. We went to the Field Museum of natural history, and saw a cool exhibit of native americas people. We wore out, went to get Deep Dish pizza, and ended up finding a Trader Joes downtown! The only TJ's with an elevator I have ever seen.

We picked up some gorceries, and drove around Lake Michigan, and downtown. Then we went back to the hotel and got hooked on "In Treatment" which is a TV show about therapy sessions. Wow.

We got up the next day, and had a mishap with our front desk. After a while things got worked out. However I missed an exchange where the valet man spouted off a smart ass remark to my wife. I found out as we were leaving, and Im glad I wasnt there. I would have been even more of a jerk, and we would have ahd a jerk contest.

We made it back int he rain, and are settling in.

Off to the WIndy City

Takin my babe to Chicago. Eating here and wandering around for a "babymoon" before Huckleberry pops out and changes our lives.

I already miss my girls!! LOL. But we need to get away.

Wow

Todd emailed me about this book he heard about. Someone we had both met, (a simple man who lives a simple message came to our area long ago when I contacted him, and he really affected my heart and life in a good way, during a dark time. He came, stayed over at Todd and Kims, and then went on his way) had another friends who wrote a book he highly recommends.

I thought I had ordered it months ago, but something got mixed up. I went to order some other books at amazon, and it remembered my previous attempt (I guess a good case for cookies?). I ordered it.

I finished it last night crying, almost weeping. Im glad I bought 3 copies, and they are all committed in my heart to specific people that are on my heart.

As I read this book, I didnt learn a whole lot of new stuff. I more had a remembering. As I read these words, I realized how much God has done in and for my life. So much more than is evident ont he outside yet. And how many things had gotten revealed, and then essentially shut up in me.

So much creativity. Holy spirit is so wild, and I forget it. How compassionate and gentle and self sacrificing Yeshua is. How totally trustworthy and stable and consistent and giving Abba is. How determined to heal, at any cost to themselves. No cost is outside of the discussion. No time restraints, no resistance too big. Pain is simply a stepping stone into deeper dialog, just as great joy. They are both share the same intended endpoint when life is surrendered to them.

And then as I went to bed, I asked God simply "Why did I forget all this? Why dont I live hardly any of this consciously?" It seems to wasteful for God to do the things done in my life, and for me to sit in object difference.

"Vanity"

Yep. I dont have any reason to brag. I have had tremendous encounters with God. All the big ones I have heard about. And I am finding that I am still in the immaturity part. I took the truth, and turned it as power and position and applied it to others instead of allowing it to empower me to love MORE and more DEEPLY.

My humanity saw something, and hijacked it. I have seen everyone I know personally do this. It is the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Truth is good, and when we coem to know more of it, we know what ISNT. And we get distracted and turn against Evil, rather than rejoicing in the Truth (a characteristic of Love). And some of us catch it quicker than others.

I have all too easily allowed myself to be defined by what I am NOT ABOUT! And I catch it. Holy Spirit helps me. And I surrender. I dont know how God does it.

One of the main reasons Im not living in a steady stream of this, is because it would cause me to stumble. Knowledge without intimacy and self control/focus on the real only causes me to descend into the non-real. God doesnt want me to do that. God doesnt cause people to unlove someone.

I desire to turn. I desire to re-turn. I want a life flooded with revelation. I want it to course through me and out of me into a violent force. I want people around me to be shook up by the wildness I have seen in the eyes of a man stretched out on my behalf, becoming my curse, and screaming out for me. I want the colors again. I want the smells and the creativity. I want the smallness (and even distortion of space and time) that comes when YHWH is locating around me. I want my kids to see past this thin veneer of self indulgent life. I want them to shake false convictions and make evil unstable and obvious. I want power to Love, especially down tot he practical.

So I recommend the book as a good catalyst. It has its weak points. It is human. But it is divine in origin, that much is clear. God is speaking here. Some people are positioned to hear it right now. If not this book, then do whatever edifies you enough to get real today.

http://www.theshackbook.com/

We Adopted too!!!

Randy Told me we could adopt right now. It is cheaper, faster, and we could pick anyone we wanted. :

stuff i think: Who Knew?

So I adopted Tracie Loux. She is our favorite early adopter, and she is helping so many other people adopt I figured she might need a little adoption of her own.

Here she is (or I guess Here Who Is).... our darling, creative, special new member of the Henry Family...

A weird Industry (Adoption Relief Part 2)

1. I stumbled upon a niche industry. Lets be clear, it is an industry. There is a LOT of money exchanging hands for a product AND a service.

2. It is slightly untypical because in the industry, the "manufacturers" are typically inconsistent (they dont start producing and continue) in production capacity, vary dramatically in product configuration, and have hyper-dynamic and hyper-critical cycles of production (they will deliver product within x amount of time, and all have different specific needs within a greater set of typical requirements).

3. It is complicated, because the legal issues involved dont permit direct connection between the "buyer" (or "end user") and the mfg. In fact, there is a set of "distributors" and/or "dealers" that represent the mfg, and you can only truly accomplish what you want by using them.

4. These "dealers" have a vested interest in you not understanding or knowing how to navigate the process. They are in fact "agencies", and in almost all cases are the holders of the keys. It is possible to go outside the agencies, but the agencies will share with you horror stories of what can happen to you if you dont use them.

5. The nature of the "transaction" has an inherent emotional context that renders both sides of the transaction extremely vulnerable.

6. The reality of product preference is very strong. The demand side wants a typical profile of product, and yet the mfg have basically no ability to influence the product.

7. Therefore, the market itself creates a dramatic price premium on certain product. It is so similar to a futures market it is surprising. It is very unregulated except for the distributors. I even heard a "dealer" claim they "discount" specific product, however I dont believe it. If they can do business for a discounted rate, and still stay in business, then by definition, it is still profitable. Therefore, they are actually either ABLE to charge more for one product than another, or at best use the discounted product as a "loss leader".

8. The main issue the dealers have is they understand all the processes, represent the mfg by having what seems to be an "exclusive contract" on the product, and have the unique right to administer the exchange process.

9. To my understanding, this makes the whole market a dealer (3rd party) managed, supply side driven market. The "consumer" has very little ability to influence the market, and very little ability to direct the transaction except for to set a price/budget, and follow directions.

The fact this industry is dealing with a moral issue is what brings this whole thing into perspective. It is not right to claim that the people involved are evil, or morally off. In fact, most people probably get involved for many good reasons. But the reality is, this industry seems to be very flawed, very complex, and very "proprietary"for the most part. In fact, at its best, it is a really messed up, labor intensive, cost intensive thing that brings great joy to people, and at worst, seems to emulate the very industry it stand in direct opposition to.

I have come to the conclusion that the infrastructure is overly bloated, complex, and totally incapable of handling the current load of product, the supply chain is grossly mismanaged, the delivery mechanisms are inefficient, and the ability of the sales channel to effectively serve the market is to convoluted to work well long term.

There has to be a market revolution.

It has to change from a supply side, dealer managed process to an efficient, demand driven, demand managed, dealer transparent model where the marketplace can initiate the process, self educate, automate all data processing, and eliminate as much of the overhead as possible. This will allow the demand to outstrip the supply.

The "dealers" in the marketplace will simply become mechanical agents able to process hundreds (if not thousands) or transactions a month. The margins will be razor thin, and highly competitive, because the "tribal knowledge" aspect will be eliminated. The process will become self evident, and normal. I picture it as very similar to the real estate market. The transaction itself is fairly common, the choice of the agent in more of convenience and service than actual difference in transaction control. Or similar to the many online brokerages that allow you to trade yourself, supervised by rules and regulations that are automated.

The "mfg" will find themselves in a situation where it is so easy to find a qualified buyers en masse (in fact, they find a huge void of product, and overwhelming demand), that they can easily solve their production problem within hours or days and have the same confidence level that many other high intensity, high emotion transactions currently do (i.e. selling a house, selling a car etc...).


The "buyers" will find themselves able to conduct the transactions far more easily than ever before. Technology is a huge part of this, as well as a "Wal Mart" approach to the process. Large scale, high volume transaction is only possible with solid technology on both sides,a nd agressive management and attention to demand. Just as Wal-Mart is able to know constantly the state of affairs in any store, on any product, and feed that data back to its supply chain, this industry has to automate most of the data transactions to the point of ubiquity, and invisibility. The buyer will be aware of very little, and yet confident in the consistency and integrity of the transaction.

As well, the ability for a buyer to go find this transaction should be as easy and close and typical as a local store. It shouldnt be arduous or require special effort to accomplish.

this is all still very rough in my mind, but I will tell you this, Im ready to do something about it. Even in a little way. I might be grandiose in my concepts, but this will get very practical, very soon. If the profit motive can be removed in this, to the point where this "industry" crumbles, and the ability for more and more people to commit themselves to this process faster, easier, cheaper, while improving the integrity and respect the mfg deserves, Im happy.

I would burn this mother down if I could.

Until then, I will make an attempt to invade it, change it, rail against it, and rally for it all at the same confusing time. It is time to take practical, pragmatic steps to help people adopt children. To level the playing field, and bring babies into their destiny. Its time for Adoption Relief.

AdoptionRelief

I attended an adoption seminar put on by by an adoption consultant team from Georgia. They have established an adoption consultant out here in KC that we think is wonderful. I sat and watched my friends speak, and saw a room filled with people who are about ready to put themselves in front of a tsunami of sorts, and I was thrilled.

Danielle and I fully intend on adopting, and the debate was whether we adopt before we have biological children, or after, or intermixed. Due to our own biology, it is decided at least that we will have biological children first, and possibly interweave our children as time goes forth.

Many of my close friends know and have supported my interest in this for years. I tried to figure out how I could ever adopt myself, but had to settle for simply anonymously contributing to adoption, and now the possibility and reality of adopting myself is so exciting.

I am excited that Danie is pregnant, and the challenges of a new baby are sometimes daunting. You would think I would be confident, and in some ways I am. In others, I simply think "Having babies is for young people"!!! LOL. Turning 38 in a few weeks I realize Im just not the same as I was 13+ years ago!

But a part of me is just as excited in adopting. The experience, and the challenge. The reality that there is someone out there God is keeping ready for me to have in spite of the nature of unplanned or unwanted pregnancy is fascinating.

However the one thing that keeps coming up is the inevitable difficulty of adoption itself. Honestly, I dont know that it should ever be easy enough to be undertaken lightly. It is as much a sacrament to me as any other example because the power of desiring a child that you did not conceive is an eternal testimony to the transcendent message of Gods love. In fact, Im paying out of pocket for our bio-child, and an adopted child will probably be much more expensive. The cost, the investment, the labor will in some ways be greater to go get this baby than having one naturally.

But once the commitment is made, the process is much, much too difficult. Especially in light of what I believe is a coming wave of obedience and repentance about this issue by the body of Christ. The simple reality of the current status of adoptions necessitates a different model, let alone the reality of a much hoped for change in the ability of women to abort children and add an overwhelming amount of orphans into a broken system.

In attending this seminar, I realized that while I could continue to pour my efforts into generating revenue to donate, I have other skills and abilities that bring help. By nature, Im a crazy odd combination of skill sets that allow me to be creative, and analytical at the same time. I dont know how or why. Data structures and process make sense to me. And in listening to the presentation, I realized a few things, and they connected. Some are obvious, and some are silly, and some are my personal convictions. And I hope to provide some "Adoption Relief" coming soon.

This might have clinched it for me...

This guy might have my vote. Forget about the conservative stance on almost every issue that is consistent with mine, I dont recall an actual candidate on SNL.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hac-UHi56Xc

Home Alone 27

Im home alone again...

This time, my wife AND my oldest took off to Ohio. They are going to a baby shower for Danielle. I sent them off with a rental car, and a chocolate nirvana from Dunn Brothers.

I can only imagine the quantity and the quality of the words being spoken during a 10 hour road trip.... Me and Zeb are happy to be here by ourselves.

Judah is supposed to come over Saturday, and me and her are going to see a movie. And eat junk food.

I think this is the 4th trip to Ohio since we have been here. It can wear on a guy. I think I am taking up the cause of my late and great father in law. When Kathy came ot help us move, the poor guy was at home, and couldnt find his glasses and it was a running joke. He kept calling,a nd we could hear Kathy try to help him look for them. I get kind of lost now without Danielle. I dont know how I ever made it through 8 years of living alone.

Im glad about my whole life, and her and Bebas absence truly makes my heart grow fonder for them.

More Loose Cannons

I believe that the power inherent in Abortion (the murder of children) lies squarely in the direct disobedience of the Body of Christ to the Law of God.

If there was a lack in the amount of unwanted or unplanned children (orphans) waiting to be brought into homes, and a subsequent honoring of women pregnant or not, a woman finding herself pregnant would find it very comfortable idea ot donate her baby to a list of thousands of loving families waiting anxiously for a baby.

At this point, any woman who can either be coerced into destroying her child would be though extremely selfish and corrupt, or completely misled and manipulated.

That is my thoughts so far. I dont know if I am right, but I believe I am. I know people who have had abortions, and they felt they had no real alternative that wasn't terribly damaging. Many were then further manipulated by other people with VESTED interests (boyfriends, abortion providers who make $$ of this, a general bias against being inconvenienced etc...)

If they were instead honored, and esteemed for their choice to bear life forth, if women were not subjugated to misogynistic theology, social deviance, and general dishonor, the revelation of the inherent mystery of God in female form would demand the birth of joy of the child.

I know women who not only gave up their babies for adoption, but endured PERSECUTION FROM WITHIN THE LOCAL "CHURCH"!!! And yet they persevered.

Im not against anyone who has had an abortion. I feel grieved that no one I know who endured that indignity by others is able to deal with it well without some kind of justification based more on their own subjective experience rather than the awesome reality of life.

ADOPT, ADOPT, ADOPT. Help people Adopt. Encourage them, sacrifice for them, and participate with them. It is obedience to the plain instructions of the Law, and the Prophets, and the Messiah as well as His followers.

Solve the Adoption Problem

Im going to say this out loud to more than just my intimate friends. Im going to take my life band off today. Im weary of the rhetoric and the stand against abortion in the ekklesia, and the focus it has taken away from the real solution.

I love the passion and the intentions. I think it is great. I have just come to a conclusion that I hope will have more revelation and clarity in the future for me. Over the last few years, I have felt this more and more, and I am now convinced. This is only to the people who claim to be the called out ones of messiah (you might call yourselves "Christians").

If you want to see abortion stopped, get obedient to the Torah already given thousands of years ago. Had the "church" understood the heart of God in regards to adoption, and His concerns for the widow, the fatherless and the alien, abortion would have been marginalized to begin with.

Adopt. Period. James wasnt making up something new. He was a Jew who was explaining Torah. Caring for widows and orphans in their distress isnt a New Testament thing. It is a God thing.

Stop praying against something. This may sound shocking to people. It wont work. You cannot disobey the clear command of God and be successful in your petitions for something else.

I have heard people finally speaking out agressively about this topic over the last year or so. Thank goodness. If you cannot adopt, financially support it on someone else. Go baby sit for couples who are stressed and tired and need a break. Help fix their house, do ANYTHING to turn your face and heart to the reality.

Think about the logistics. 3700 babies a day murdered, or living in cribs untouched and uncared for? If God were to grant you your request, are you willing to commit to 120,000,000 orphans that are currently out there in the world, and 90,000 + new ones a month (just in America)?

These things are finally being talked about on public platforms, but in essence the issue is millenia old. Obey God, or dont. We can preach the logistics, or we can call one another to Love and Good Deeds. We can facilitate the body with our gifts and our callings.

Consider the possibility that if the church continues to refuse the adoption issue, what is Gods alternative? In my mind, and my limited human thinking, I believe we might even see a wave of what will look like a curse in the body. Women unable to conceive naturally. It will seem like something is wrong, but if that is what it takes to force us into adoption, then fine.

I have a baby on the way naturally. Im excited. But I also want children from the hole of being unwanted or uncared for. Im planning on this. I intend to do this. Until I am able I am sowing into adoptions. I have every intention of walking up to God, and asking for my harvest. I have sown for years, and have never asked God for anything based on that. But in this category, I fully intend to ask Him for all the Grace (financial and other) to successfully fulfill the mandate of caring for the widow the orphan and the alien. And however many God tells me to do, I will do my best. In my weakness, I will at least turn my face towards Him in this.

I challenge you to think about this. If I could make you, I would.

So I cannot continue to stand "against" something, and claim Im "standing" for something else. You can pray all day and fast all you want. But do something tangible about this. In a few hours, I go intercede. My intercession is to bill customers for money, and give it to people adopting and caring for widows, orphans and aliens oppressed by war.

Its hard to believe Im thinking this way...

2 or 4 years ago (I cannot remember which one) I just happenned to be watching the Democratic National Convention. I have no idea why. I saw Barack Obama speak, and I thought to myself

"This guy scares the crap out of me. I think many people have been praying against the wrong person. If this guy ever runs for president, and I bet he will, hes got more power and influence than Clinton ever has". I cannot remember who I said it to, but I said it to someone else ot make sure I had a reference point for 2008.

Over the last year we have learned a lot about this guy, and he is even worse than Clinton. I am not a Republican, nor a democrat. In fact, I dont think Im a registered voter any longer, or if I am, I cannot recall but I think it was Green Party.

I am a social conservative on some things. My main issues are not war against terrorism, or fiscal responsibility. Those things are important. But not the most pressing issue to me is the ending of the facilitation of child murder. I truly believe it is wrong to help a woman kill a fetus. Im not against women who have done this. I dont supposed any moral superiority, and I dont think that action is worse than any other actions, including being a hyper religious zealot loading up the backs of earnest believers with dogma and rules, and legalisms that cause them to stumble. Or lying. Or Unfaithfulness.

I dont believe that the President of the US is capable of stopping this. In my limited understanding, all a President can do is get the opportunity to appoint a Supreme Court Justice and hope the Supreme Court will overturn a previous decision. And then at that point, there is still no change. It simply goes to where it ought to have been (Constitutionally speaking), which is down to the state level. Then Each State has to decide if they support this. In the big picture, the Federal government ought to outlaw this, which would supercede States Rights.

Anyhow, to think the President is somehow going to change the heart of a woman who wants to kill her baby for her own convenience is ludicrous. I agree with Chuck Colson in that the role of government is to suppress evil, the role of the ekklisia is to live and demonstrate and influence unto morality based on the revelation of Gods Law.

But this group of people scare me. Especially Obama. He has too much Charisma. All he is is a state senator. He has no experience running organizations (Senators dont in general), he has no experience interacting with foreign policy, and he is more radical than Clinton. Im actually beginning to hope Clinton is the choice of her party, as I think she has the greatest shot to lose, whereas Obama will trounce anyone against him barring a miracle. Ive said all along, if they would have made Clinton run, with Obama as a VP, they would be all but elected right now. Thank goodness for egos.

You didnt realize my secret job...

If you look at the last 5 minutes of the video you will se me a few years back when my hair was short...

Busted. Oh well.

http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1405714058

Not all who are wandering are LOST

Ummm this is my favorite Jackson Bohlender video so far. He really doesnt understand the subtleties of LOST, but he does provide keen insight into Canadian Eschatology.


Eschatology with Jackson #1 from Jackson Bohlender on Vimeo.

Not Kathie Wheeler Approved

I am well aware my wife is the most glamourous lady in the world, and especially the cutest pregnant lady in the universe....


But did you know she also does home decorating? Not only that but she also is very UNSAFE!!!!


This is what I walked in on just this morning. Notice no safety net, harness or anything!!!

Culinary Arts

Well I had my first day as a teacher! It was odd, and fun.

Jr High: The Jr High class is a lot more work. Thankfully, I have 2 rockin assistants! WOW. Erica Bost, and Terry Hartley, as well as Amy Ann Hartley for High School.

There is 30 kids in this class. Of course, the boys grouped together in the middle of room, and the girls had grabbed the other tables. The boys turned out to be quite a problem. I really had to back down, because as the first day goes, I dont even know these boys well. I actually yelled at them at one point, told them to shut up once or twice, and said some other things that I think flew over their heads like:

"If I needed your help teaching my class, I would ask you" or "If I thought your comments on everything everyone else said were relevant, I would ask for your input".

I cannot remember the other things. Anyhow, I dont blame them. I still cant sit still in an environment like that. It drives me crazy.

We broke them up into 5 teams of 5, I think there are more kids however. LOL. Anyway, the girls whined about having boys in their group, but thankfully, God had mercy and distibuted the boys fairly well. They are going to do Lasagna.

Sr High:

This groups is a lot more calm. They still have their moments. Many of them are flat out goofy. One student did bring me chocolate (dark) which I informed everyone in advance that if they did bribe me with dark chocolate, it ensured them an A. Good on him. It is a Fraser boy, and you can see how his Dad got to be such a bigwig! LOL.

This class got broken up into 4 teams of 5. 3 of the teams want to do something with chicken. 1 Team is going to do lasagna. This is harder, but they all wanted to go for it. Each team is offering me 3 ideas, I will pick out of the 3, and we will go for it. Im excited about this class.

One odd thing, I felt very led when I introduced myself to share my story with them. All of a sudden I felt like telling them what my High School experience was like, and the ugly parts of it, and the subsequent immediately after it. I think many of these kids wont have nearly the same experience, I think it is important to share thsi with them anyhow. We will see later why I hope.

I am now part of the establishment. I avoided it for 37 years. Thankfully, I am in a school that is very new, and very different. I think even my own Dad might like the way it works (He and I both hated school). Im challenged, but confident. I love cooking, and I hope that I can helpt hese kids. In reality, this class is just an excuse to encourage, assist, develop, be with these kids as they are making transitions out into the marketplace.

Im Arthur, King of the .....NOT

All I can say is I have been to Arthur Bryants 2 times. This is supposedly the best BBQ in KC, the country, and the world. It is not.

The Burnt Ends are overly salty, mushy, dark, murky and barely passable. The beef was very dry, and flavorless. The Ribs were good, but I have had MUCH better. I think they use MSG in their rub as well, because after, my breathing was a little messed up.

This is a disappointment. Here are the favorites so far...

Ribs (Baby Back): Jacks Stack
Ribs (SPare): Jacks/Gates
Burnt Ends: Jacks Stack
Sauce: Jacks Stack
Pulled Pork Sandwich: Oklahoma Joes (I dont think Jacks does pork shoulder, or they might be the winner here too)
Others:

Fries: Jacks, Gates
Beans: Jacks (I havent had Arthur Bryants)
Cheesy Corn get honorable mention here. IT isnt served anywhere else I know about, but it is a food group by itself.


Notice Gates BBQ on here? Their fries are good, but everything else is VERY salty. Ribs are good at Gates, but for Baby Backs Jacks beats out.

Im going to check out some other, littler places. We also need to go to KC Masterpiece. It seems we like our BBQ upscale. I just hate mushy, murky flavors.

Preggo

Danielle came down the stairs yesterday for our trip to Home Depot with the girls, and looked more pregnant than ever. I dont know why exactly, but it really sturck me. I didnt get great pictures, I was trying to be sneaky. Isnt she cute?

Here I thought I was taking a picture, but it was a movie.

SUPRISE SUPRISE SUPRISE.....

Last week the girls were getting ready for their mom to come and pick them up. What they didnt know, is their 2 aunts (Carolyn and Katie) and their cousin (Ciera, Carolyn's daughter) were in KC to visit them, and were the ones at the door. Due to parental excitement, and technical difficulties, I missed the actual revealing. I should have just put it as a movie.

This is the first hug. The opening of the door, and the shock, and then the subsequent screaming was fantastic.





Then as things began to set in, it was great to watch my girls with some of their very favorite people. Israel practically spent the first 4-5 years of her life, and then the last coule years, with Katie Mae as an older sister, and Carolyn and her husband Chris, along with their children Cameron, Chase and Ciera have been critical to my daughters happiness.

This was such a great surprise. They went off and left me for the weekend! Danielle had to leave as well to do The Nazarite Uprising conference so it was just me and Zeb. And it was LONELY!!!!

Some lost christmas pix

This one is one I took where I found all these girls on a couch and the floor at Angies house. The one on the floor, thata Maria (or "Ahria" if you ask my cute little niece Hurricane)

Left to right, Israel, Judah, Angela, Ava, Leah, and Maria on floor.

This of course is Ava. Plenty of pictures of this one. This is her with her momma.

Lots of things

I realized we had a lot of pictures and things over the last month not posted and un documented. Im going to post some of these over several posts to show how wonderful and sometimes busy our life has been.

Baby Huck

Boaz was not a hero....

A few years back I had a little revelation about Boaz, and how he was fulfilling a commandment.

Basically, Boaz left grain in the fields for the "gleaners". These folks were the poor (widows, orphans, and aliens). There is commandments (not suggestions) in Leviticus that direct any land owner to ensure there is something for the poor. When you read the passages, there is something communicated that I think is even more heart felt.

The idea is that as you harvest, you make sure you DONT go back for the last amounts of grain scattered about when you tied up the sheaves. You intentionally leave it there, around the edges of your farm. This will allow people to come and "glean", or pick up the left overs so they have food to eat. The people allowed to glean are those in the Isrealite society that were incapable of providing for themselves.

The fact the grain is left around the edges is important too. It means that for the most part, someone could gather the grain, without having to be exposed in the middle of an empty field for being poor, and a "gleaner".

But here is the point. This isnt a suggestion. This is a command. It is to be part of your business plan so to speak. This is more than a command, it is THE LAW, or more directly, THE TORAH.

I suggest, Boaz wasnt a hero. He was simply obedient (interesting word here, as I believe his sone was named OBED?) to the Torah. A good Jew.

Now his behavior AFTER was exemplerary, but even then, not unheard of. He was a kinsman redeemer. There was provision for that. Other people did that too. Although it sure is a beautiful story, and helps us see God.

However, what is THE TORAH? It is the revelation of God. It describes who He is. Sometimes by what He is not (check the 10 commandments), but in this case, by who He IS. It is inherent in Gods design and His Heart that He provides for the poor, the oppressed, and the lonely. And to be called one of His people, the Jews were called to The Torah. If they were to be His people, they were to obey. It was a sign to the other nations. The covenant between the husband (God) and the bride (the jew) was Torah.

You cannot be His Bride without His covenant.

What about now?

Some people think Jesus overcame the Torah. But He was clear He came to fulfill it. He never once broke Torah. And what is clear is the 1st century apostles that were born Jews, kept Torah. Jesus didnt put away the Torah, He fulfilled the ceremonial aspects of the 1st covenant by fulfilling it Himself. We dont have to sacrifice to be atoned for, our faith in His atonement is sufficient. There is no more sacrifice. But we dont now go ahead and lie, cheat, steal, commit adultery etc... It isnt as if these things are ok.

The Torah still stand, but the positional and ceremonial aspects of justification are met via faith, not the blood of animals.

This being my conviction, this would mean it isnt enough to give when led. It simply isnt enough. The Law of the LORD is perfect, restoring the Soul. Maybe more than just my Soul? Maybe that perfect Law also demonstrates Gods heart, and His commitment to me, and mine to Him, is
to obey. So I must do more than reflexively give. I must include giving to the widow, the orphan, and the alien as a part of my "business plan".

I cannot escape this. I must generously "leave something in the field". I dont try to squeez out every bit. I slosh a bunch of it around, and make sure no one is exposed by having to come through my field and pick it. In fact, I make it as easy and kind as I can. And I NEVER discriminate as to who comes through. I dont pick only pretty young girls, or Africans, or "full time" ministers who are single, people who fit my paradigm of a "gleaner" etc... I leave that to God.

I encourage you, if you own a business, to consider obedience to Torah as a reality. You simply MUST allow for the gleaners. Not as an afterthought, but as a pro-active commitment on the part of your business. If you dont "own a field", you have work somewhere. You have a harvest. You have the Torah, and you have the revelation of the Torah (Jesus/Yeshua).

Do you need anymore?

Misc and Loose notes

Cloudy 10°F
Feels Like
-4°F

Wheeeeeee haaaa. I knew it was cold the other day. Im actually really built for the cold. Lots of insulation layers etc... I found myself running Zebulun around the other day after I got back from the gym. I was in shorts and a sweatshirt. I realized it was 20 degrees F! That was a little cold for me.

then the other day I took zeb out, and by the time I got to the end of the block, my eyes were tearing, my cheeks hurt, my nose felt like it was burning and all the saliva in the corners of my mouth was frozen. It was actually starting to get painful. I turned around and went home. I found out it was 5 deg F with a little wind, so it was like -1. I hit my limit.

Danielle is back after a very neat conference. She has done a great job, and had lots of funny stories to tell about how when Lou Engle was calling for people who felt very connected to the LIFE movement stand up, Huckleberry started wiggling like CRAZY. I guess Huck Like LIFE (go figure) and probably LOVES Lou. I think all kids do.

Our lives are finally settling down. The holidays are too much disruption for me. Between that and a 3 week break from school for the kids, and then a death in the family, it was pretty chaotic. Im getting so busy that it is becoming evident we need to have som stability around here. A consistent Schedule helps.

It is one of the problems around here. Everything is so active, I have to say no to lots of great things. I am limited in scope, and need to stick to what I know God has told us.

Some things God has led us to believe and pray for:

1. 150 adoptions in the local KC area, especially the IHOP community by 12/31/2008.
2. $1,000,000 in donations to the Zoe foundation by 12/31/2008.

I am also turning my focus to The Daniel Academy. I see a budding, richly diverse group of kids that need to be equipped far more deeply than I needed. Part of this will be just helping organizationally as we see needs, but also teaching. I listened to the Teachers Meeting, and all I can say is I could never see myself able to teach a typical class like Math or English. These people have such a higher level of organization and detail ability than me it is almost sad. I am not built like that, and can really appreciate how much effort they go to in helping my children.

A really sad tragedy struck here in KC. A family Danielle met right before they left for India, the Maas family, suffered the loss of their husband/father. This family sold most everything and left for India, with 4 kids, and gave themselves to orphans. I dont know the whole story, but Im not sure they even got to the place they were supposed to before Dave got sick, and had 2 heart attacks and died. I have not met this family, but Danielle did right before they left.

This is a hurtful story. People giving everything they have, and the hurt and anguish they must be feeling. Having to come all the way back, an exhausting trip, with no resources etc... We all know God will provide, but He often does it THROUGH THE BODY. I cannot say enough. You either help widows and orphans, or you dont. It is clear in scripture. I dont care if it is $5 or $50, all believers are called to help. Those who dont consider themselves "Christians" etc... still find it in their hearts to give. If you want to contribute, we have information. Email me.... Personally, this is a non-negotiable. I may not have much, but that is irrelevant.

Just Another SNOW DAY

Woke up at 3 am, couldnt sleep. So at 4 went down and worked until 6, and snuggled with wifey until she had to get up and go to the airport. She is a VERY Important Person. She is coordinating the Nazarite Uprising Conference for The Call in Ct this weekend.

Im just plugging away doing my stuff. I was supposed to teach my first day at class today, but it is a SNOW DAY. Good and bad. Kids Home,,,, fun but bad because it is hard for them when I am working. Bad that I dont get to try and teach and meet all these new kids Im going to LOVE this semester.

Oh well...

So I shoveled the driveway because it is a PAIN to not do it when it is going to stay cold for several days. My driveway is an ice skating rink. Like a good midwestern boy I did my job.

I love it here. I am so grateful I have a warm house, children, babies coming, friends...I just want to be faithful, and one of the best ways I can thank God is to enjoy it, and appreciate it because He gave it all to me because He loves me.

My Danie

My Wife turned 25 yesterday (well actually 24, it all depends on who you ask). In the haze of some recent events, and the fact that Im just not very organized or aware I simply came upon the day.

It isnt that Danielle isnt important, it is more my mindset than anything else. I dont like birthdays particularly, and could care less about mine. I dont care about getting older, I just simply look at a birthday and think "neat" and move on. Unfortunately, not everyone thinks like that, and once again.... my narcissism catches up with me.

And how many things am I going to be able to say about Danielle that havent been said yet? Anyone who either knows her or reads my blog is going to say the same things. We ALL love her. We all admire her. And I think she is the cutest pregnant lady on the planet.

It has been a sad time the last couple of days/week with her father passing away. The grief is really now just beginning to surface. It is a bizzare time, there is a baby growing in there. It is a stressful time, as working for a disorganization takes its toll on an administrator. It has been a sick time, and just yesterday was the first day out of bed (for some of us anyway).

And all through this, my lovely wife is just so lovely. She is all that she is, all the time. I wish there was ways that could give you the emotional understanding of what it is like to be with someone of this stature (even at 5' 3"). To say something like "She completes me" is a lie. She makes up a good 85% of the real stuff in our marriage and family. The rest is either fluff or personality on my part.

I wish I had been more conscientious Danielle. And to be totally honest, it isnt like I didnt have a few nudges from lots of sources. Im so sorry (yet again). But I do love you, just not well enough yet.

Its a, a, a, demon?!

Some people who check out my blog might want to stop right here, and read something else. It is always amazing to me people actually READ this at all!


Yesterday as we left onething, I began to have this weird yawning thing. It isnt a real yawn. It was like a series of shallow yawns that seem unproductive. Danielle commented on it, and I was kind of thinking it was odd. This was coupled with the fact that her father just died of what we bet is congestive heart failure, and I, for some odd reason, was having the weirdest little twinge in my chest since Saturday night!

I was fairly confident the thing in my chest was actually just being sore from working out, as it wasnt that strong, was more sore than anything, and very small and localized, but just throw a little fear in there....

Anyhow, I had also commented to Danielle on Saturday that I was feeling rather at odds with what I was seeing. I typically have to steward my eyes a little, as I tend to be a very visual person, and I also receive revelation via "seeing". But I also need to be careful, as that same factor makes me oddly vulnerable to women who carry any kind of seductive element. So I simply understand that, and dont engage it.

My mind has been getting stuck on songs and sounds and phrases lately. I will get things just stuck in there, or I will hear certain things over and over again that arent something I want to think about or remember. This is another sign I am dealing with something that is personal, and specific rather than internal and general.

Anyhow, as we left onething, I began to yawn, and then I began to feel rather..... oppressed. I dont know how to describe it, but if you have ever had it, you would know. My head was a little foggy. I could physically feel tension moving up and around my back and my neck. After the 10th yawn, I said "This feels like deliverance". That it typically the way I have gone through it in the past. Most of the time it is that jaw stretching, deep, cracking kind of yawn that almost leaves me dizzy! This time, I couldnt seem to get anything out.

Within about 10 minutes, it became clear to me that God was taking something out of me, and I needed to get into it and push. Deliverance often involves the Will of the individual. At the same time, I am racking my brain trying to figure out what, if anything, I had done to engage something dark. I honestly couldnt figure anything out. At this point, if I cannot determine any place in my own life I actually invited oppression into my life, I have to determine it is either an current assignment, or something way back. Either one is possible, espeically as I have been reading lots of things about this lately, and especially Derek Princes stuff.

As we get on the 435, a voice in my head says "You are going to want to pull over". Im thinking "Great, if I need to pull over, what the heck is going ot happen!?". I have had a LOT of dealing with this kind of thing years and years ago, and I simply wont tolerate them. I have cast these things out of me on the freeway before! But I knew it wouldnt hurt.

I came up on 103rd Street. I figured that was a good Psalm, and I wanted this thing out. We pulled over, I claimed that whole Psalm, especially


Ps 103:1-5
1 Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--
3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
(NIV)

And then Danielle and I prayed. It took a long time! We actually had someone drive up to us (in a red truck), and stop and ask us if we needed help. I didnt see them, as I was too busy yelling "God didnt bring me this far so I could live the rest of my life with some stupid demon, GET OUT". Danielle just waved and told them "Were fine thanks". Then they turned around and left.
Anyhow, we finally got deliverance. Im not afraid to talk about this, and Im not ashamed. God has delivered me from SO MANY THINGS. It is one of the best things He does for me. And I am not in any willful activities (AMAZINGLY!!!!!) that would allow for that to be welcome in my life. There has been so much deep change over the years, that this is actually not common any longer. But there is the reality that we contend with this more than we think.

The more I engage my calling. The more I receive from God. The more I seek to bless and love. The more the enemy wants a piece of me back. I have been both a willful participant, and a victim of things demonic in my life, and I hate all of it. And as I go along my life in my little Kansas City/IHOP bubble, I forget that there is also a proactive agent against me. It isnt just always my flesh or my weak/broken soul. I have an old accquaintance that seeks my life. Just as Ruach Adonai seeks out my life, so does a very real, very evil person.

I am more motivated now. I have felt over the last few weeks that I need to, and am getting, ready to contend with things like this again. It is odd for me, because the last 3-4 years hasnt been full of that. But as God keeps restoring vision and focus to my life, I am finding old tools and things He gave me, and they still fit my hands. As I remember how to swing them, and use them, life is coming back into parts of me that have been fallow on purpose.

This might all sound odd if someone reads it. I dont claim not to be odd. But Im excited. If for no other reason than God delivered me YET AGAIN from something. He LOVES ME THAT MUCH. He wont stop.

A Sad Announcement

We were woken up at 4:30 am yesterday to hear that Danielles father, David Wheeler, was having a problem. At that point we assumed something healthwise, but didnt understand. An hour later we got another call informing us that he was dead.

This was obviously a shock. We are very sad, and trying to piece together the things that have happened, as well as the things that will occur now. And as we do this, around the edges is this grief that wants to come out.

We could all see that Dave was having a hard time at Christmas. And the consensus was thankfully he was starting insurance from a new job Jan 1, and should be going to the Dr to start checking this. Dave had at least one heart attack I am aware of 20 years ago. In hindsight, Im betting he had several more.

I think the thing that has hit me the most is this is the 3rd time I have experienced this same process. My grandmother was having a little bit of trouble 12 years ago on Mothers day. We realized something was wrong, but didnt know what, or how serious. She died within a week. My Grandfather seemed to be having a little bit of trouble a few years back during Easter I think, and died suddenly within a day or 2. Last year, my wifes grandfather was having trouble all of a sudden,a nd then they foud out he had cancer, and died within a few months. My fathers mother was going downhill for a while, and my Dad (Im positive on a divine whisper) decided to go and see her again, got there just in time for her death. Now Dave.

I dont know if I have learned something, or see something, but here is what I believe now.

1. Everytime someone dies, you feel that kick in your butt to do something to take care of yourself better.

2. You commit to connect even more with people.

3. You realize signs in hindsight that you assure yourself you wont ignore again, but you do.

4. You try and process things, and remember, but it drifts into the past.

In several of those cases above, it was a shock. there was something going on, but there is always something going on, and everyone seems to get over it, except for the ONE TIME they dont. In the other cases, NO ONE regrets the extra effort of being there even though it is sad and difficult.

Dave Wheeler was a really neat guy. He was someone you had to sit and wait for the golden pieces that would come out, because on the outside, he tended to be a little aloof or quiet. But if you waited, you would hear some of the funniest things. It was Daves idiosyncrasies that were the best part. The guy smoked, drank a pot of coffee, and ate whatever he wanted. Didnt excercise etc... and the rattle and cough he had was an indicator to me that he was about as unhealthy as he could be, and still be a live. That was part of his little quirks. He was a headstrong guy, with a lot more IQ than I would guess people realized if they didnt listen to him.

He also brought me some venison to try, when he found out I never had tried any. And a bottle of "spring water". Turns out, he probably meant "still water", and when you talk North Carolina and "still water" it is what started NASCAR (i.e. moonshine). It was my favorite gift of the whole thing! It was such a pleasure trying something like this, and enjoying it while feeling special that he brought it for me.

Dave LOVED Charlotte, Ava, Leah, and Patrick. Patrick was as much Daves son as anyones (I think having 3 girls does that to you). Ava was doted on, and I have heard stories of Leah saying "Pop, I wanna go in the boat", and him dropping just about everything and getting her out in the water.

I now look at myself, after gaining 30 pounds since July, with a heart condition etc... at my age, having a new baby coming etc... and keep asking God for the Grace to enjoy food, but get healthy at the same time. I want to know I have done all that I can to be strong and healthy for my kids, and the calling on my life. I struggle with that daily. And it is clear I am not supposed to live in fear, but it is hard not to make a bigger deal out of something when someone isnt doing well physically.

You just never know. It should motivate us to do what we are already commanded to do, Love Each Other. Serve Each Other. Greet Each Other With a Holy Kiss. Submit to One Another. Seek to Bless and Not Curse. All of these things make sense when you get the crap knocked out of you as someone irrevocably leaves. I cannot do a thing to change this situation.

Im pissed off, because I barely got to know him. My girls and I had high hopes of someday learning how to fish with him. Im sad my wife lost her father, my daughter wont know her Grandfather. Im wrecked my Mother in Law has lost her Father, and her husband within 6 months of each other. Im mad that I didnt recognize the problem, and take him right there to a hospital (even though he probably wouldnt let us). Those are all my little griefs. But Grief is often rooted in Love and Affection. At least this Grief is. I am sad, because so many people lost something wonderful. It is a blessing to have had the wonderful at all.

Over the river and through the woods

I heard you can get to IHOP by going down to the end of our street, and walking through the woods. Danielle and I went for it, and it was an adventure.

The first issue is, our neighborhood seems to be the last (if ever) set of streets to be plowed or salted. This meant that as we walked up and down hills, we were mostly on ice, or packed snow. This was a drag, and hard to do. Add pregnancy, and a dog who is SO excited to be on a walk, and we had quite a work out.


Then we found the woods. We started walking down these little trails, and there was lots of snow, as it doesnt melt down there under all the trees etc... We let Zebulun off his leash, and he became the worlds happiest dog. He was in the woods, running around, showing us everything. You can tell that he is a hunting dog, and comes from a family of dogs that is meant to be outside running around.


There is our fearless Zeb leading the way. It is hard to describe his behavior, only he would dart all around, then look back to make sure we were there. Then he would race off again, and find something to investigate. Thats my pregnant babe trudging up hill. We ended up going up quite a long hill at the end, and found ourselves in someones backyard!


We came across a car! Someone drove this thing down this hill, and left it. It is old enough that all the rubber and seats and such is decayed. We didnt find any bodies (we dont look for those things) or money (we look for those things)


My lovely wife made it the whole way. I am now convinced I NEED my motorcycle here to help me with this. Had I lived in this house as a kid, I would have been on my bicycle, and in these trees all the time. I dont know how much trouble I would have gotten into, as opposed to the trouble I did anyway, but man would it have been fun!

Movies are fun

I always wanted to try and give a picture of our house and the snow. This is the best I can get. Some people have already gone up and down the street, but it shows our pretty street, and the snow.

Just after this, Danie left. She backed out the driveway, and she made a mistake, she started turning to point her nose up the street. Once you do that, if you are unsuccessful, you are stuck, and up for another adventure like I had earlier. She slid, the wheels spun, but thanks to her years of experience, and subtlety (and lack of brash, unrestrained personality) she made it. but barely. Today is going to be fun watching the people slide.

Why we love Christina

We love Christina!! It is hard to explain, but it is like a combination of all sorts of things you would love, coming to live at your house. She has been gone for too long, and is coming back today. She will get no rest, Im sure of it.

right before she left, she was getting sick, so we made some carrot juice, and ground up a few small cloves of garlic. She went for it, and it was really funny. I didnt capture the actual deep shudder that happened, but this still gets kind of the fun of it.

Shade of things to come