There is no Box

Injustice for Children

2009-11-13T11:53:00.000-08:00

Our firend Tracie wrote a painful article

http://tracieloux.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/i-cant-fix-this/

I sure understand the anger. I think the thing that helped me the most was at Lakeland with an autistic girl who was demonized. As I carried her through the prayer line (kicking, screaming, biting and trying to choke everyone) it was an ordeal. By the time I was done, I hadnt realized how intense it was, and I staggered around for a bit trying to collect myself. I was so angry. I was so painfully connected to the injustice of a child who did absolutely nothing to deserve any of this, and yet was so bound and hurt and oppressed, and seemingly powerless.

I was very upset and confused. And then things got very clear. I saw a vision and I was standing in a great big circle of people. In the middle of the circle was Yeshua, Michael, and Lucifer. Lucifer was reduced to kneeling in front of Messiah, and confessing the reality of Lordship. And as he did, Yeshua was somehow looking at everyone. I was standing next to this girl, and both Yeshua and Lucifer were both connecting with her. Yeshua was executing Judgement on Lucifer for bring sin and destruction, and oppressing this child. Every ittle experience of hers, no matter how subtle or misunderstood, was made clear. Every bit of pain she ever had in her life was being laid bare, and placed on the source of her suffering, namely the enemy.

As Yeshua continued, it was obvious that as He was judging satan, everyone was experiencing this in a very personal way. He was reconciling things, and bringing justice, in a far deeper, and far more detail way than humanly possible. And to be sure, the corresponding deposits and corrections He made on behalf of everyone far outweighed even the most seemingly hurtful and horrid experiences they had. I believe they all would say that it was actually worth it, not just simply worth it, but that literally it was made far more in their favor in that time then anyone can conceive of. It was so tangible I think we need new bodies and minds just to endure the outpouring of Justice and Correction that will occur.

This isnt PollyAnna. I know it is unfair, and I know it is wrong. But I also know now, that this short time, with so much confusion and apparent injustice, is not only fleeting, it is a lie. We are tempted to feel so bad about it now, and yet it will seem so distant and insignificant when eternity is made present to our hearts.

Poor Emma now. It is unfair. But might we end up being provoked by the majesty and beauty she carries when Justice is made final? Perhaps that might help me let go of some of it, and Dear God please give us all Grace to let out the rest....

Where does it all go???

2009-10-01T03:38:00.000-07:00

Im struggling with the reality that Im not working much, yet it seems like I have no time... Nothing significant is getting done. Im confused...

Another piece of reality that is becoming clear is the nature of the curse of fallen man. The other day, I stopped whatever it was I was dong, sat down on the floor, and spent a few minutes wth Havah. It isnt like Havah doesnt just walk around and get attention from any of us, but I remember clearly having to do something, and making a happy detour. As she turned around, and slowly backed into my lap, talking about something while waving a sippy cup around, I had this realization.

This was what it was like in the Garden. Eden I mean. Admah didnt have to go work at something away from his family. He wasnt under any pressure to go "do" anything. There wasnt a prevailing concern about bills, a house, or anything else.

It isnt that he didnt work. They all did. But the work wasnt tied to their security, safety, or provision. Work was as much an outlet for creativity as anything else. I doubt seriously we would recognize it. What an unbelivable transition Adam and Eve had to make as they left Eden.

It is so precious to be at home right now. To be with Judah and Israel when they are at my house is so special. So much is changing with them, and it is so important to be with them, and especially to simply enjoy them. Havah is so special as well. In fact in my heart, it is even more special to see Havah wth her sisters. She brightens up even more than normal, and the interaction is so special.

Im starting to panic again. I go through cycles of confusion, as well as fear. If I was objective, I would probably be out trying to work 3 jobs, which wouldnt do enough to get us out of our hole yet. There is a part of me that would rather go down in flames than not see my kids. I have such a short window with the oldest right now, and I dont know what to do. But I realize that is part of being in a fallen world. It wasnt supposed to be this way, Im not really designed to understand or know all this. I am supposed to trust, obey, walk forward. My wife is such an inspirationw hen she says "Im committed not to worry". Im trying too...

Pieces Missing....

2009-07-16T05:23:00.000-07:00

I get Danie and Havah tomorrow....

It has been a long 7 days. And it has showed me some stuff...

1. I remember being very alone. Im 39+ years old now. I had been single for 2 years as an adult before I was married. Then I had a nightmare for 4 years punctuated by incredible blessings with the birth of my Israel and Judah. Then I had a really long period of time (8+ years) where I was single. It is hard ot be signle for many, and it was hard for me. Just being single has its challenges. My biggest problem is staying active and engaged. I simply just back down, and tune out. I have experienced the reality as well that being married to a broken person, as well as being very boken myself, is a nightmare almost, if not worse than, being single. However, I need to remember how hard it can be to be single as an adult, especially someone in their 30s. Just a reminder to me to make sure to reach out and bring those single folks in my life around as much as I can. We all need family in one form or another.

2. I remember being overwhelmed with my kids. As a single person dealing with my own issues, having kids on top was such a welcome focus. It interrupted my own dull world, and my own dead space. But it was also overwhelming. Israel and Judah are such blessings. As they have gotten older, it has become easier and easier to parent them. Aside from all my failings, an poor judgment as a parent, the joy of them overwhelms all other things. However, 4-5 years ago, I was drowning. I didnt even realize it. Being a parent is hard sometimes, being a single parent can feel like swimming with handcuffs. It is worth it, but can be very trying. Dont forget the single parents around you. Connect wth them, especially the ones that are the main parent, or the only one. Visit if you can, or have them over, or get them a break.

3. What a joy babies are. Havah is about ready to enter the toddler stage. Its a fun, but trying time. She seems to have taken on some of her mothers headstrong, willful personality traits (THAT WAS A JOKE PEOPLE). That makes it more challenging, yet she also seems ot have taken on some of the fun, silly aspects of her older siblings. But even without that, when a baby is around, things are always brought down to mroe simple levels, and everything seems like th efirst time. Opening a cupboard, banging a stick, saying something funny, even walking into a room with a bby who knows you can make them smile. The noises that babies make are unique, and when they are gone, the lack of theose noises somehow make things seem much nore dead.

4. What a joy my big girls are. It is becoming a lot of fun being with Israel. She is such a dear person to me. Sitting with her, listening to her, trying to think about the situations she is talking about, and how she is working through them. It is all so neat. I had no idea this would be so fun. Israel being such a great and sincere kid makes it much easier of course. I have joked for years about teenage years coming, but honestly, they might be one of my favorite seasons so far. When Isael was little, she was like music, walking around in and around my life. But there was a lot of turmoil too, lots of pain, and lots of fear. Now, watching her, and learning how to be with her as a woman, all that music has changed into a different song that is much sweeter, and much richer than I ever could imagine.

Judah is still like a walking party. Her brain goes so fast! And she has retaind one of the most precious aspects of her personality, the ability to get her sister and I laughing. She spazzed out the other day at the Post Office. She gets goin on something, and as much as Israel tries to act liek she is bothered, and as much as I try to keep up with her, at some point she is fully committed ot her own silliness that Israel starts laughing and egging her on, and I play the role of patronizing father trying to "bring her back to reality". Judah is also such a deep thinker. And she is so tenacious. And then just when I hit my limit, these beautifulm compassionaite, sincere feelings and thoughts being to come out of her, and you realize there are layers and layers to this girl/woman that are still coming forward.

5. Of course, what a joy Danielle is. I am experiencing the Proverb "He who finds a wife finds a good thing". My bet is, considering the Proverbs about nagging wives and women trouble, it is probably translated better "He who finds a good wife, finds a treasure". This isso clear to me and those around me. As Judah said "Dad, I dont mean to be offensive, but Danie is kind of the glue that holds us all together. When she is hear, the Living Room doesnt look like this". As she said it, she was pushing up against me trying to act out in the physical what she was saying, wrapping herself around me and trying to be like the "glue" around bircks in a wall.

Danie is my best friend, and after 3-4 years together, 1 baby, an ex-wife, and 2 pre teens, a corss country move, and financial trouble, still hanging with me and making me a better man. I enjoy her as much as I like her, and this time apart only proves to me how important she is.

6. Im not as dysfunctional as I was. WhenDanie would leave, for a few days before, I would get grumpy and frustrated. In reality I was reliving the tyranny of being alone, and even left alone. I would shut down, not go out of the house much, kind of regressing. Each time she would leave, Iw ould do a little better. This time, it hasnt been a strain at all except for the celar reality of missing her. Im still growing a lot, and this is proof.

So why is this so shocking????

2009-06-24T05:22:00.000-07:00

Danielle sent me a picture she found the other day on a website about dairy consumption (I think). Anyhow it is a cute picture, but also a provocative one. I realize as I look at it, it would cause shock or prurient interest in certain people, and I realize that is a real problem.

Why?

Im not saying the female body isnt beautiful. But I am concerned with how womens bodies, their femininity, and the concept of breast feeding is so sexualized. Thats a terrible thing. We reduce women to no more than objects when we sexualize them, and attach our own needs and trauma to them.

Think about it. For EVER, women have fed their own children, and the survival rate of humans has continued ot grow faster than the death rate. And then businesses got into the food chain, and started manipulating women to do things other than nurture and care for their children. Im not judging the women who make these decisions, only the results.

You take a child who WANTS to breast feed (ever seen one? I had 3), and withhold it for convenience sake, or the myth that it isnt "nutritious" enough. The child would have suckled anyhow. Then you take that same child and tell them later "Those are sex object. Dont look, dont touch" Fair enough, because we wear clothes etc... So men get an image of mystery tied to their need, and women get a sense of disconnection from theirs.

But then they see porn. Men react, and become lustful, and objectifying. Women become insecure, and confused.

It goes way weirder than that, but Im just talking off the top of my head.

Im not advocating people just unclothe or expose themselves without regard. My wife is very modest about breast feeding, yet she shouldnt be objectified for having breasts, nor should she feel insecure of bothered by her own body (she doesnt, and neither do I!). I just think there are connections with how we treat women, how we then treat their bodies and the wonderful gifts and roles they have, and turn them into awful things instead of beautiful ones.

Lets repent.....

My friends next home...

2009-06-11T06:30:00.000-07:00

I have a few new friends, ones I enjoy talking with, tickling, hanging upside down, and trying to talk with. Especially Houdini.

They all used to live far away, but some other firends went and got them, and took them into their own crowded house. The only way to describe it is the term "delivered".

This is where they were headed. The only term I can think of for the people that go here is "Angels". Im feeling so pissed off I dont have a million dollars right now. Im angry and hurt and cofused about how this happens, and Im afriad of finding out the reality.

http://www.worldnextdoor.org/2009/04/romaniv-boys-orphanage/

Jesus is my Friend

2009-06-06T07:43:00.000-07:00

Fantastic blog post to You Tube and then I saw all these different remixes. I like the Acid Trip one....

Normal

Metal

Acid Trip

Goodbye George Tiller....

2009-06-01T07:10:00.001-07:00

I cant say I will miss you. You were a murderer, and guilty of not only killing, but helping people kill. You reapd what you sowed, except that you probably should have been dismembered and burned with saline before you actually died. Perhaps that was mercy. I sure hope by some miracle you were able to reconcile with forgiveness and escape the tormen you were headed to in those last moments.

While I dont participate in modern Institutional Christianity, I cannot help but be astounded at the reality that some organization affiliated in some way with Christ would EVER allow a man like that inside their building. It is one thing if a person who dosnt claim to be a follower does this kid of thing, that isto be understood. But as soon as you claim to be a follower of Christ, and then explicitly do things like murder, and facilitate murder, you should be removed and never allowed back until you have clearly turned.

I hurt for the family of this man, wether they supported him in his work or not. He supported his family with death, but I dont know their positions on it. I can only hope that in Gods inifinte wisdom and love something good comes out of this.

Im not sure if I condone or condem the shooter. I cannot say I feel bad this man is dead. I dont think it will stop abortions, even at his facility. But I cannot deny the reality that in the Tanakh, God directed his people to do similar things to similar people, and to disobey was sin. The whole God who changes not problem arises as well, so I cannot really say what happenned was wrong.

However, I cannot condone it easily either, as vengence isnt ours, even on behalf of the babies. Unless God directs us, and that opens up a can of worms I cannot bear to deal with.

I know this, I would have hoped and loved to have seen this man repent, and turn away from this. I wished he could have been truly saved from this. Im pro-life, but Im not a pacifist nor am I a viglante. Im a follower of Christ, and Christ loved that man, and died for him and desired earnestly that George Tiller would have had eternal fellowship with Yahweh in all pleasure and fulfillment. He wanted hime to be forgivedn, and Im confident strove with all his power to bing that man into freedom.

The main difference between George Tiller and Christ is Christ died of his own choice for what he believed, while George Tiller killed others by his own choice for what he believed.

I love my wife and family

2009-05-07T06:09:00.000-07:00

Every so often, I get all teary when I think about my family.

My wife is the greatest. She is hosting people at our hous this week, and having a meeting today and another on Saturday about health, and nurtition. What most people dont realize is she has been spending tons of time doing research, and thinking about many of our friend with either illness or personal struggle, and thinking and praying about ways to help them. Almost every day recently she is learning something profound about this topic, and I just wish I had the resources to let her go at this much more.

I wish we had a bigger house! She loves having people over, and loves having htem stay. She organizes all of it, plans it, sets things up, gets rooms ready, sheets, food, all the stuff. She is so good at it it all looks normal, but I see behind the scenes.

Since starting to help at PureHEart, things have gotten moreunstable lately. There are a lot of dynamics thathappen whn you engage helping people get healed. we are both stumbling around trying to figure things out, and she is so patient and forgiving when I hit my own personal walls with patience or frustration.

Israel is so much fun to be with, and being next ot her as she grows into her life is becomign fascinating. I forgot the dynamicism of being almost 14! I wasnt half the person she is at this point. She is pushing herself past her struggles and engaging her heart, and it shows.

Judah is just a jot. In fact, she is outgrowing everything as well! Danie ended up with asweatshirt on today,a nd asked Israel "Is this yours?", the answer "No, thats Judahs!" LOL. Judah and I have been riding bikes a little int he am, and she has been keeping us up to date on her massive listening library of Adventures in Odyssey. Judah has an incredible mind for detail, especialy when it comes to stories or books. We watched the Nanbcy Drew movie last night, and she caught so many things about it it was wild.

Queen Havah "Huckleberry" Henry leads a charmed life. She has quite a voice and a will. She is lots of fun until she isnt, and she is willing to let you knwo she would prefer more FOOD PLEASE NOW. She ADORES Israel and Judah, and scoots around on her butt all over the kitchen taking things out of her cabinet, and leaving htat for something else.

It is so important sometimes, to step back and be thankful, and joyful about what we do have. It has been hard financially (not as hard as most, but hard for us), spiritually and emotionally a little topsy turvy, and yetthe reality is, TODAY, Iam thankful and enjoying my family, and allowing my heart to expand with goodness.

Great article

2009-05-02T09:50:00.001-07:00

http://www.wildfermentation.com/resources.php?page=economics

Some fascinating ideas and concepts becoming quite closer to my heart. As my life and my family change and shift to a different motive and practice for living, these things begin to ring more and more true, not just as principles, but as actual paradigms inherent in Creation. Somehow, these things appeal both to the sentimental (for sure), but also something a little deeper, like a simple "This makes sense" gut level.

"Some version of "caring about the health of the consumer" surely appears in the mission statements of all the major food corporations, including the most egregious violators of the public trust. In other words, it is hard to genuinely care about someone you don't even know. "

"You cannot pay someone to care. You can pay someone to act as if they care; you can pay them to follow meticulous guidelines; but you can't make them really care. "

"An alternative path exists: food should not be primarily a commodity. Food is a gift of God's Good Earth, for which all religious traditions teach gratitude. To subject it to the economic regime of the lowest bidder is to desecrate the gift and insult the Giver. "

"When people ask if they can buy our soda in the future, we usually say, "No, but we'll teach you how to make it." We envision a society where every household has a speciality, be it soda or sauerkraut, soap or stock, bread or soy sauce, that they make in quantities sufficient for five or ten households – precisely the quantity that maximizes efficiency without compromising quality. (It is not much more work to make ten gallons of soda than it is to make one, but to make fifty gallons is an enterprise of an entirely different order.) "

New Boy to play with

2009-05-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

One of my sisters-in-love just had a nephew-in-love for me to play with. This kid is big, almost as big as my Judah was when she was born. I mean, hes almost as big as my 1 year old daughter.

Now Avacado and Chuckles have a brother to protect them, so Im going to call him Brother Bruiser. Contrary to previous assumptions, especially those made by Avacado, his name is not Osama Obama Solololololololomon.

They have my wife captive in Cinicinatti, and Im single for the night. No kids, no wife. I dont knwo wht single people do on Fridays, so I might just go to Chipotle and drown my lonliness in a burrito.

Now we know what the Loux family was doing

2009-04-14T16:42:00.001-07:00

It took the "so long" to get all the "paperwork" done. Yeah right...

Here is the REAL story....

Im in tears right now

2009-04-13T17:20:00.000-07:00

Click Here

This is love and affection.

You know things are changing when...

2009-04-13T04:51:00.001-07:00

The Missionaries are giving the marketplace guys money...

However humbling it is currently, it is a worthwhile process we are going through. Last week 3 different families gave money to us, either directly (against our protests until they played the "God told me" card), or sneaky (like leaving it on our porch and running).

Over the past month, there have been a few other familes that have done the same thing. Danie and Ihave hadto come to grips with the fact that w are in the middle of something very dramatic for us. Maybe it is of our own choices and irresponsibility. Maybe it is just life. But I dont beleive either of that.

6 months ago, I was pretty certain I heard YHWH tell me things were going to be a lot different in 6 months, and I heard that when I was talking with Him about work, and my vocation.

I waited to tell Danie, and then we didnt tell a lot of people. We have been doing things that we beleive would help us prepare as best we could, all the while trying to do the things we normally would like my work, and opportunities.

It is now April, and while I cannot say I understand all the things that are happenning, I do beleive we are in the middle of a significant paradigm shift, away from what people consider "the marketplace". I will write more about it, but while I have always been a "marketplace guy", I dont really beleive in the concept. God doesnt look at creation, and see different sectors. But the point was I was clear my focus was in wokring and making income.

I dont think that is any different, as I think everyone is called to that. I dont beleive in support ministry outside some very extreme examples. But I do beleive in the body giving and sharing with each other. I also beleive the end of the "marketplace" is within sight. Things are going to be very diferent 10-15 years from now, and we need to get ahead of the paradigm shift or be caught in the middle of one with some serious crisis.

Practical Life Saving...

2009-04-05T07:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had an experience that when over, scared the crud out of me.

I was in the House of Payer foyer, and turned to look and saw a woman lying on the ground. It urned to ask the people sitting in some charis near here "Is she ok?". They shrugged their shoulders and didnt say anything.

I went over to her, and checked on her. She was unresponsive. Things progressed, and at one point we had a woman unconcious, with a fading pulse, and I couldt tell if she was breathing or not.

Thankfully, things improved, but at one point, it was rather scary. When it was done, and the Paramedics came and stabilized her, and took her away, I began to shake a little. All that adrenaline and intensity had to process out. Then I realized that I was totally unprepared for what had just happenned.

The odd thing is this is the 3rd time this has happenned to me in 3 years. I forgot that until driving home. Each time, the process is the same, and has turned out well. However that had nothing to do with me. Had the situation required me todo anything interventive, there is a good chance these 3 people would have died.

I didnt even know a process of steps. Obviously I checked to see if she was breathing etc... but I didnt know what and how to check someone in this situation.

I did some research, and this is what I found. this isnt meant to be instuctive, only informative. I encourage you to go review First Aid, Red Cross, or anything that will help you understand this process better.

1. What is the situation? For example, if someone has been electrocuted, poisoned, or come under the influenceof something similar (think Carbon Momoxide etc...) you have to determine if it is safe for YOU to proceed.

If it is not safe, you have to evaluate. Can you remove the threat , or not (On coming cars cannot be removed for example). YOu might need to make a veyr serious decision here.

If it is safe to proceed, then review the following.

2. Is the person injured? In my case, I couldnt tell if she was unconcious because of the fall, or fell after. There was no blood, however a broken neck or back wont neccessarily bleed.

If the person appears to be injured in the neck or back, try to progress to the next steps without moving them! Unless their life is in danger, or yours, from something else. If you find the next stpes require action, and you can only do this by moving them, make your best judgement call.

3. ABC: Airway, Breathing, Circulation.

Airway: Check their airway for any obstruction. Vomit, Food, blood etc... If there is obstuction, clear it.

Breathing: Are they breathing? Put your cheek/ear near their mouth/nose and get still and listen. Watch their chest at the same time. If they are breathing at all, check the next step. If they are not (I mean AT ALL), then you need to start rescue breathing. If they are breathing, and are not injured int he neck/back, tilt their head back slightly with your hand under their neck. If they are breathing but injured, monitor their breathing regularly.

Circulation: If they are in fact breathing, check their pulse. I couldnt find one on this girl via the neck, but another fellow found one in her wrist. It was fluctuating. If there is no pulse, rescue breathing and CPR are required. If there is a pulse, stop and evaluate.

If there is no pulse/breathing, the issue of injury and movement are irrelevant. Move them on their back, tilt their head up and start CPR.

At this point, RedCross suggests the following:

If there is no obvious neck/back injury, and they are beathing and circulating, roll them on their side, neck slightly back to clear any fuure airway obstruction, and wait with them for emergency help.

In my case yesterday, the gal was a diabetic. She was essentially in a diabetic coma. However, thankfully she had taken sugar gels right before she had passed out, which was probably why she revived. So I would suggest the following steps:

If the person is stabilized, look for a med id tag on their wrist. If there is one, read it. Look through any id or personal ites. We found her drivers license, and I kept calling her name and telling her to wake up. What I wished I had done was look for any meds. I wouldnt give her any, but I would know if she had any so I could tell EMT about it when they arrive.

I hope that I remember these basics when/if this happens again. It hink Ialso need to stop, take a breath, and command myself to calm down. Th extra 5-10 seconds of doing this could save the person in front of me.

This is awesome

2009-02-20T06:04:00.001-08:00

What a commentary on a silly and stupid policy Obama already pulled off...

http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?video=1039849853

Im excited

2009-02-04T18:24:00.000-08:00

Things keep occuring at a rapid rate and I dont reallt understand what is goig on. However, this is the kind of folks Im beginning to talk with.

http://www.rawgames.org/splash.html

When the going gets tough, the weird turn pro...

A new thing....

2009-01-31T16:47:00.000-08:00

I woke this am at about 4 and finally connected a few dots together. As I told Danie, who was awake, she told me she had been awake from 1-2 prayingf or God to please tell us and focus us in a direction.

Work has been bad. Real Bad. And God has been telling me about it as it happens. Hard to explain it, but I have been listening and right about things for the last few months about what is going to happen instead of what appears to be happenning.

We are so broke that we had to make some serious hard choices about things. Ive been broke, but not with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

So when I shared this with Danie, and got her feedback I knew it was the best thing to step into. We are going to start a Raw Food company that will focus on delivering Raw Food components and products to people so the can more easily make Raw Food at home, incorporating much more nutrition into their daily lives.

There are lots of people doing this, but with many different agendas, dogma, and widely varying profit margins. We have a few unique cocepts that should help make this more practical.

And that is the name of our new blog, and our new thing. PracticallyRaw. We will be starting o tblog, having some classes, and all the while facilitating others (and ourselves) to make easier choices towards more raw foods and nutrients.

Anyone interested can email us, and we will have some preliminary web prescence by this week. We will be coming up with approachable RawFood basics, and then slowly expanding as we get our feet going. All prayers are appreciated.

There are also a few other things going on as well, that seem to be interesting. I dont feel free to talk about them, but they compliment this idea and help bring some great food, to great people.

Raw Food Class

2009-01-28T13:31:00.000-08:00

There seems to be quite a bit of interest in learning some basics about making Raw Food. Everyone wants to get more nutrition, especially fresh veggies etc... in their diet, but it can be a little intimidating.

While Im certainly not the picture of health and raw foodness, I have learned a lot of little things about making Raw Food that people are asking about. Danille encouraged me to have a little class to help people along the way.

So Monday night (feb 2) we will be having a little event at my house, and we will talk about the different types of Raw Foods, from simple to complex. Then we will look at ways you can make things yourself to include more raw food, as well as doing it less expensively, and with more common tools.

If you want to come, let Danielle know. We are asking for $5 to cover the costs of the food, and I hope to make 3-4 things that you can taste and that should give you and idea of how to go ahead and make it yourself. If there is interest, we can do more of them, with more sophisticated types of foods.

I love making bread

2009-01-22T11:57:00.000-08:00

I got inspiried to make bread. Not sure when. I ALWAYS loved bread. In all its forms. I havent met bread I dont like yet.

But I NEVER baked. Except for PotRoast. Then I thgouth "Why not some Pita". Then Pita was easy. Then I thought "Why not some big boy bread" and then I got messed up.

Im not interested in off the shelf crap. Panera is ok in a pinch, but I want good bread. An in my opinion,t he most authentic bread is naturally levened, i.e. Soudough.

The more sour the better for me. However it isnt about how sour, i is the fact there is only really 3 ingredients in my bread. Flour, Water, and Salt. It levens without heavy spur flavor if I want it to.

I wont go into how I made the starter,but it was easy. Im convinced Ihave true sourdough starter even though I used yeast at one point. I made one with grapes, but in a community with Nazarites, I didnt want them to screw up their vow on my end.

Anyhow, the most success I have had is not with the super sour, San Francisco type bread, although that is like my favorite. It is a whole wheat based bread. I dont knwo why, but Im getting far more achievement in this than I should.

Every loaf I make is better than the last with this bread. I made some Rejuvalac, and kept the sprouted wheat berries, and added them to my bread this time. I also added millet, and polenta (corn grits). In the last pic you can see the grains. Next time Im going to do more than soak. Im going to slightly sprout, then mix it witht he leven to ferment it slightly. The nutrition in this bread is almost unbeatable as far as bread goes. Very bio-available and complex carbohydrates.

Here are pictures. THanks so much to Rchard Lewellen who totally inspiried me and gave me books and ideas. Come over for TOAST!

I love my family

2008-12-30T16:12:00.001-08:00

My kids are at onething, Christina just got back, we have 2 sets of 2 people each staying with us, and we have visitors.

I love the way our life is. It seems to be getting a little hard right now on some fronts, but on others, it is just blossoming. It really doesnt seem like it is fair, or work. Danie and I both feel strognly it is our part ont he team to be with people, eat with them, have them over, and just enjoy them.

And then to throw wonderful kids and babies ont op of that? and thenfriends coming through every other day i just too much. Family is a weird word. It has a lot of different applications and facets.

Having just come back from California with my "bio" family, it is an interesting experience. Im not sure how easily family is defined any longer. I have friends who have different kids adopted, biological and there isnt a distinction. Seems same with friends and loved ones.

I live is a weird kind of freindship stew. Lots of different shapes and flavors, and it only gets better the longer it sits around in my life refrigerator.

Home is where the what is?

2008-12-19T03:54:00.000-08:00

Here I am in California. Wow. We went to Canters deli yesterday down in LA, and ir was one of the hardest drives I have made in a long time. 1.7 hours there and almost as much back. I tried to get creative coming back, and didnt help. I dont think we lost time, but it was stressful.

Driving here is interesting for me. I still know where everything is, and how to get places. A year away doesnt changeit that much. But I notice little tings, like how many for lease signs there are up and down Hawthorne blvd. Lots of small retail companies going out of business.

Things are just different enough on that simple, subtle level, and I have been gone just long enough to change my experience enough, that I feel a LOT different.

This isnt my home anymore. Even my parents house is different. Literally. They remodeled the remaining pieces that havent been remodeled, and the light switch and sink are in totally different places in my old bathroom. I almost slammed into a wall where there used to be a sink.

This is an interesting experience for me. Like I said inan earlier post, I am here for the people. But Im finding myself craving my own little bubble. Im beginning to miss the IHOP a little, the rhythm of things, and the familiarity.

I think perhaps Im not a traveller. I have done a fair share of it, but Im beginnign to prefer home most. I am realizing that Home is beginning to be a focus for me, and perhaps an emphasis for me. I can feel things changing for the future on that topic that indicate a lot of focus on it. We even had a good friend with a dream email us and it talked about significant changes to what Home is, how it works, and what it looks like.

Havah seems ot be adapting so well. One of big concerns is how hard we work to have a routine and a schedule for her, and how easy it is to disrupt that. Even with a schedule we havent been as successful with sleep and rest as a certain supermom in Ohio is. But we really thought "If tis goes south, we are going to be miserable". Maybe Havah runs the house, I dont know. But sh works good within her routine. Danie doesnt sleep much anyhow, so every little bit is precious.

Havah just kind of looks around at people, and things. There is a lot ofthings at Grandmas. Lots of shiny, colorful things. And some weird older people that like to try and get her attention.

Im starting to relax a little, and looking forward to being with my kids a little more. Work is stressful (the lack of it) and I need to disengage my head from it for just long enough to get refreshed.

Like the Song says...

2008-12-17T05:08:00.000-08:00

"Im going to California with an aching in my heart..." Led Zepplin

We are leaving today for California. Havah has been on an airplane or a car coast to coast within 8 months of being born. Florida, Washington DC. California, Ohio... The kids have been Caost to Coast To Coast in 13 months.

If it wernt for family, I wouldnt go back. I lived there 37 years, and have no affection for the place. It was 9 degrees the other day,a nd snowed a few inches, and I loved it. I was driving through snow last night sliding all over and couldnt imagine being anywhere else.

It isnt like California is bad, it just isnt great. Southern Cal is one big morass of people. It is so congested and dense with urban and sub-urban environments I never realized how constipated it is.

Is the weather good? Maybe. If you like a narrow range of weather and almost no true variance except for hot, and wet/cool.

Since moving here my girls have not had even remotely the incidence of colds or allergies. The doctors there told us "It is environmental, not viral or bacterial". They were right. The air there is awful.

Im not sure any place is really that attractive to me. It is the people. We are leaving our home, hassling with things like the dog, and travel, and expense because we love the people there, and we got a chance to go sponsored by Grandma and Grandpa.

We have some friends who seem to be moving here shortly, and I have been reflecting on how much my life has changed in 1 year.

Im fatter than I have ever been, yet happier. I need to fix the first without compromising the second, and I think its possible.

Im playing music again several hours a week.

I spend time in an environment among people who are so focused I seem like an uncentered, laid back kind of guy.

My kids have developed spiritually in ways I coulnt have foreseen.

But we also have made a lot of friends. We have pre-existing friends like the Bohlenders, and Christina. Those have been wonderful. Living with Chrissy has been a great treat, and being able to stop my day, and sit down with her and Danie and talk about stuff for an hour is something I cherish. Seeing Randy or Kelsey or the kids somewhere in the say at random is so wonderful! Instead of making a big deal and travelling, we stumble upon them at times.

We have lots of new friends. I didnt realize that until I thought through it. We dont have the normal IHOP experience. we connected to all sorts of folks. They are so wonderful. We have a patchwork of people and experiences that happen all the time that have become part of the backdrop that I didnt realize until I stepped out of it.

So the aching isnt to GO to California. I will be waiting to get back home.

Chilly Billy

2008-12-15T13:13:00.000-08:00

9 degrees. Wind makes it about -10. Isnt too windy, but things are FROZEN.....

You would think it would be great for snow. Alas, no mositure. Hopefully tomorrow, and then non for Wed as we are leaving on a plane...

Now it starts getting scary when...

2008-12-08T17:58:00.000-08:00

Even secular Journalists start describing orthodox biblical eschatology without knowing it...

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/7a03e5b6-c541-11dd-b516-000077b07658.html

TOdd and Kims story

2008-12-01T09:18:00.000-08:00

This is a quick and simple story of their daughte HOPE. I say that because they really arent able to share the whole thing that is involved, simply for timesake!

http://www.tmphillips.com/adoption/hope/sharing-at-the-river/

I have known Todd (and Kim) for most of my life. We have grieved together laughed, ate, prayed. I cannot tell you how proud I am of their commitment to this,a nd their effort and faithfulness in this. Theseare very real people, experiencing something very abnormal to most of us, yet very NORMAL from Gods perspective. It is so edifying.

There is no balance

2008-11-26T07:48:00.000-08:00

I had an interesting conversation with someone wonderful the other day after a bake off at the local school. After eating 20+ samples of surprisingly high quality baked goods, I ended up in a rant with Ricard Lewellen. My rant of course, not his...

It jumped all over, but what really got me is how does one know when they are fulfilling a lifestyle (materially speaking) pleasing to God?

See I dont hae a second thought about buying a $5 loaf of artisan handmade bread. I dont even have to try and justify it saying "I love to eat" or "God made me a type of guy who loves this stuff" or even better "My favorite thing is to buy this and share it with people I love". All these are true. But I dont think it justifies the action.

I have a guitar that costs more than my first car. No one (including even John Loux) needs or deserves a guitar like this. John rips on one that costs 20%.

Some of my firends will counter with "But you love to give". This is also true. But it doesnt justify spending that much money on something.

There simply isnt a justification per se. But my thought is, I probably dont need one. I hope Im right. If Im not, Im a hedonist, or a glutton, or maybe worse.

I dont feel defensve either, just wondering. Should I buy crap bread at Panera (works in a pinch but comparitively an awful value)? Is it more holy, or more Godly? If Im really Godly, Ill go buy a $100 Fender Squier Crap-O-Caster. There have been times I was GRATEFUL to have one to play. But I dont WANT that. I want my Warrior.

How far does this rabbit hole go? Thats what tells me something is smelly about this line of thought. At a recent IHO staff meeting, the statement about social drink was made. It was a good reminder. I dont actually apreciate the idea, I love to drink wine. But that is the rules, and if you want to be apart of it, you do the rules.

Then it got interesting. Now I dont know any of the people personally who spoke, but I beleive and knwo others who will vouch for them and their character, and their hearts. The statement was made "I have never seen someone with aspirit of revival on them that drank". Ok. I dont buy it, but I appreciate you think that way. It isnt what goes into a mans mouth, but comes out of it that defiles him, but I can accpet a different thought. There is certainly a lot less risk not drinking than drinking when it comes to choices and judegment.

But it kept going. The statement was made "The grain used to make beer on a global scale could feed 50 million people annually". WOW. Lets asusme that is true. I think that is a GREAT reason to reconsider drinking beer. People take cheap grain off the market, and make expensive, non essential drink for people who can afford it. Bad Deal. Im sure tere is lots of other things, but hey, you start somewhere.

But then I almost yelled out "I sure hope all that coffee served at Higher Grounds is Certified Fair Trade". Because see this is a slippery slope. It has no bottom. IF we agree Coffee should be certified fair trade, the momentum builds.

"I hope that produce you are eating isnt picked with illegal and/or migrant labor that is wrking for unfair wages"

"I SURE hope you didnt buy that shirt at Wal-Mart. They have numerous pending lawsuits about cheatng employees out of overtime and payroll"

"Hey, how about we establish that non-essential things like coffee, beer, wine, sugar etc... are unholy because you are spending money you shouldnt, on things that could support the poor both with your giving, and the market not raping innocent poor people"

We get ascetic. How many sets of clothes should you have? How many cars? How big? How much MPG?

But there has to be a balance point Here is where I got to so far...

1. Is this choice Im making purely self-gratifiying? Be honest here. God doesnt hate pelasure at all. HE MADE it. I cannot wait to sit with Hm and cook and eat with Him. Im sue He knows how it all tastes, but it is one of the few things I can give Him,a nd one of the simplest ways I show affection. But, rampant self-gratification is sinful. It creates a tolerance for more, and increases the appetite for more.

2. Is this choice something I feel guilty about? Am I convicted? Am I willing to be convicted?

3. Am I able to give this thing away without enjoying it? If I was aksed or even needed to be commanded, would I try to do it, or put myself in the wy of Grace to be obedient?

4. Am I giving in general? Am I listening and looking for ways to give regardless?

5. Is it reasonable for me to do this? When I bought my guitars, I was debt-free, and had landed a ton of capital. I didnt borrow a dime to do it, and had a simple lifestyle that allowed me to do it without even flinching.

I dont know why Im thinking about this so much. As Richard and I were talking, Im right next to someone I love to pieces. They have just adopted yet again, found out they are prgnant and only God knows where this bus might stop! They live on a shoestring. I honestly dont knwo how they do it. Trust me, on several occasions I have asked if we should sell or do something to help, because now, we simply dont have hardly any resources to help.

I dont live on direct support. Mine is indirect. And it is hurting right now. I use wisdom to pull back on purchases that wouldnt allow us to give some here, and be wise. But I can stall use my freedom to go try and get more work, or change things. Most of our firends would suffer greatly to do that.

I look forward to things God may say about this to me. Im willing to be wrong, or right. Im willing to adjust, I just need to know where my target is. And accept it being different than someone else. Because I dont think there is a clear definition excepet for LOVE and OBEDIENCE.

For all our California Friends

2008-11-25T09:13:00.000-08:00

This was last week. It is a few cents less now.

This is cool

2008-11-24T17:56:00.003-08:00

http://www.globalrichlist.com/

See how high you are comparatively.....

2008-11-24T17:56:00.001-08:00

To amny answers

2008-11-17T18:03:00.000-08:00

so we pray on Sundays afternons in our debrief for finances. We also began prayin for ideas. Im starting to get them, a lot of them.

It feels like when I stop taking fish oil. My head starts running. This is very similar. I have 2-3 things I think are viable.

Here is the rub. When they asked me to pray for ideas a) I thought I was praying for THEM and b) the main thing coming out of my mouth was "give us courage to pursue these things".

Im not sure what ot do. I dont have a lot of energy and focus, and I dont comprehend how to move forward. But I am connecting all these thing together, and feel kind of stuck! Im stuck moving forward?

We shall see what comes up. One of them involves a media blog, and anoth involves media distribution. The other involves making my basement into a bakery. Oy Vey!

Art for Adoption

2008-11-14T11:40:00.001-08:00

This is (yet again) one of those times I shamelesly ask for contributions. This one has a time frame on it...

Adopting children with any kind of untypical needs from thisp art of the world is serious. It is shocking to note that at 3 years old, these children are put into an institution, and are no longer adoptable. This is shocking even more so because of the treatment. I cannot quote the number because I couldnt remember it, but it was so signficant that I was stunned. Children at 3 are palce in a situation where they are tied to their bed, fed once a day, and many of them dont survive the first year. The ones who do are kept like this until they hit a certian age, and are turned out to the street, making perfect victims of child traffickers.

Our friends are adopting from there, and have their hearts entangled with a boy named Aiden.

John and Tracie are in the process of adopting a little boy named Aiden from Eastern Europe. Aiden has Down Syndrome and will be 3 in March. We are excited to welcome him into our family.

The Loux’s are currently raising finances to help pay the cost of adoption. They are still in need of $18,000, and are trusting God for total provision.If you would like to help support their adoption, they are currently having a fundraiser called ART FOR ADOPTION.They are currently selling photographs and will be listing some original paintings and other artwork soon.The link to their webstore is http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6457320

You can read more about Aiden and their adoption at their blog www.tracieloux.wordpress.com, where they also have posted other ways that you can give to their adoption fund.

Do it. 5$, 50$, 500$. It doesnt matter. Give what you got. Give now. I want them going to Ukraine with several thousands of dollars in extra money for gifts, and funding the next couple that wants to do this. If you want it anonymous, give it to me, and I will get it to them.

Dow 6000

2008-11-12T06:30:00.000-08:00

Im dont know the fellow whowrote this etc... ut I have ben waiting since 2001 for this to appear.

I have believed for quite some time (since 2001) that the DOW will hit a bottom of 6000. I can say I believed it was Divine, regardless of what other people would think. Some may say "The market goes up and down" but NO ONE I know ever believed it could go that low.

I beleive that this will be either the bottom, or so near it as to make the difference negligable. The important thing here is to know where the bottom will be, and to buy there as low as possible. WHAT to buy is beyond me. An indexed fund exposed broadly might be safe, then again, the bottom could be the price for a long time, and only certain sectors could go up.

I dont have any capital to invest, but I might within the next 2-3 months. If Im tracking, I have said I believed that the current slump isnt the bottom, it would be here in the next few months. This article is saying the same thing, only slightly earlier.

This isnt investment advice, only information. If you get confirmation, or feel something similar, Im only writing this to help confirm.

http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=80642

Trying to Edit my Tomato SOup

2008-11-09T05:05:00.001-08:00

We took movies of making hte SOup to share with people, but the problem is they are brkoen into about 8 different files, and the camera we used made really large files. I have a QuickTime eitor on my old laptop, ont he old hard drive on that laptop, and this is going to take some time.

I apologize in advance for the host, he is a little quirky, but we hadfun. Im going to try and see if I can get som professionals (like Nick Loux and Jackson BOhlender) to record the next one about home made pita bread If I can convince their parents to give them HomeSchool Credit for doing it! LOL.

Tomato Soup

2008-11-06T05:14:00.001-08:00

A Wonderful friend, mother of at least 6, and avid prayer fortress asked about some tomato soup I made with Richard "Superhero" Lewellen as a test run a while back.

I realized I take for granted the thousands of hours I spent watching TV and eating while people like her were praying and fasting...

So, Im going to record the process of making a pot of tomato soup. This will kind of be like "The Omega Course on Tomato Soup". A simple overview of a deep subject.

Then Im going to record a "EGS Tomato Soup", where I will show how I go deep into this topic, and hot rod soup with all sorts of different things I might have on hand, and applications beyond just tomato soup that you can use with the left overs.

Im a cheap skate, so I will also share the how and how much to see if we can make this simple and cheap for all our missionaries, or cheap skates like me.

My new hobby

2008-11-05T11:30:00.000-08:00

I certainly aint no Richard Lewellen or Fevere Bread, but Im making Pita. I have tried a basic recipe, and modulated it. I dont care if it actually has a pocket or not, and I like them bigger like a pizza sized flat bread, but it works the same small or big.

Here is my recipe if you want to try it. You can use a simple bread recipe, but this is a hybrid of ingredients, and method that gives a really good yummy bread.

5 cups total of Flour:
3-4 cups White Bread FlourRemaining Whole Wheat flour

2 teaspoons sea salt, or 3 teaspoons regular. Ground sea salt seems to be stronger, I like it better.

2 Tablespoon Honey, Agave Nectar, or Sugar

1 Packet Instant Yeast

2 Tablespoon OliveOil

2 Tablespoon Flax Seed Oil (Oilve Oil is ok, I just like a little flax)

2 Cups Warm Water

I take 3-4 cups of the flour, mix it with the Honey, Yeast, Oil, and Water, and blend it all together. Then I leave it sit for as long as possible, at least 2-3 hours in a warm spot, covered.
Then I add the remaining flour, and salt and knead it for as long as I can, until it forms up.
Typically about 6-10 minutes.

I roll it out as thin as possible in fairly big rounds, but you could do smaller. I put them in an oven preheated on broil for at least 30 minutes (basically as hot as it can go). I put them on the stones in the bottom of the oven for 3-5 minutes.

Sometimes I put olive oil and salt on them before cooking. Cumin is good too.

Its a VERY special Day

2008-10-28T05:04:00.000-07:00

Im not one for birthdays, and I dont like Christmas etc... Im just not one for special days. I seriously want to be making things special as often as I can.

But today is different. Today is the 2 year anniversary of my marriage. Actually, to me, it is the 2 year anniversary of the State recognizing my marriage, which means very little to me. A certificate from a government telling me I can share property and debt with someone else isnt what makes it special.

What means the most to me, is today is when people began to recognize how fortunate I am. They acceptedte fact that I was married to the most wonderful woman I have ever met, and I mean that very sincerely. Everyone know to meet Danie is to love Danie, but to live with her day to day, to sleep next to her, to be loved byher, to see her raise a baby while at the same time treat my first children as her own... I could go on an on.

Being near Danielle the last couple years is a gift, and one that I try not to take lightly. Im human, and Im selfish, and I slip into auto-pilot. And even then, she gently and lovingly helps me out. Italk a lot, and I share a lot, but not everything. I share EVERYTHING with Danielle.

Danielle is my best friend, for sure. And it goes beyond simple explanation. Even now, I sometimes have to remember Im married. It isnt like I dont intellectually know, or even emotionally. But sometimes I get so focused on things, my brain skips a little, and I dont intuitively recognize Im married for a second. And then I realize "Wow, Im married", and then I realize "Wow, Im married to HER", and then it seems like I feel lucky all over again.

I Love my kids. I dont get to see them everyday. Somehow, I have gotten used to it. I dont knwo when and where, but I did. I only know that because of Danie. She will say "When are the kids coming? I miss them!". And then I realize how Im so used to the ebb and flow of them, and that isnt normal. Danielle loves them and wants to see them as much as I do.

Another thing that God gave me with Danielle is her family. Right now, her mother Kathy is upstairs asleep. I cannot tell you how happy am when Kathy is here. I cannot explain why on this part either. You learn a lot about Danielle when you hang around Kathy, and vice versa. They are very alike, and you can see the qualities Danielle got from her mother. Everyone loves it when "Gram" is here. The other day, Israel was reading a book downstairs while Gram was sewing, and I began to cry. It is so special to have this in my hoe. Judah was doing homework, and Gram was helping her. Havah and Gram have a special bond, as Gram was with us at her birth, and for many weeks after including travelling with us. It isnt uncommon to walk into a room, and find Havah sitting with Gram, drooling all over evrything,a nd Gram telling her over and over again "Precious Girl, Grams little precious girl".

Thene have people like Danielles sisters, and nieces and nephew. A lot could be said just about Angela Fantangela, and her family. Angela is one of the most, if not the most, hospitable people I have ever met. Generous and giving. And Lara is like the "favorite aunt" who everyone loves before they even realize it. Their children are great. And then we have aunts like Linda and Sandy, and cousins like Paul and Jeanie. And thats just to first few percent!

And thats not all. Bear with me here. Then we have her friends. Danielle doenst just make friends, she makes QUALITY friends. Danielle and I were talking about Chistina. I cannot imagine our home without her. It is joy to be around her. And Katchen, who was our lifeline even getting here, and her son Izzy buns, who we get to see every week! And Jocelyn, who is this amazing woman, and we miss very much.

Danielle is a master of a good deal. And she is so talented making things. And she is so generous. If we had loads of money, most of it would go into making things for people.

Danielle is an incredible mother. Havah has no clue how good she has it. Danie is attentive, but firm, all in the right balance. Far better of a parent than I ever have been.

There is lots more I could say. Many thing dont fit here about how my heart is healing day after day. How restored I feel in marriage. How the timing of meeting her provided a resource to my oldest girls something I had no clue they would need so much,a nd so soon.

I am so happy being married to this woman. It would never be as special if it was anyone else. I believe she is a gift, and many of my friends and family know that.

Abort Obama

2008-10-16T05:29:00.000-07:00

My sister sent an email talkig about the cocnept that if the histories of the candidates were revered (McCain didnt graduate 5th from the bottom, and went to Harvard instead, wifes were swapped etc...) the "race" for president wouldnt be so close.

I say it isnt racism. Ive thought long and hard about my choice. Thankfully, Obama is VERY "Pro-Choice". I have decided that Obama is a good candidate for presidential abortion.

1. Obama is so liberal I cannot even consider him viable.

2. I guess that means I have to vote for McCain. I think Im more prepared, and it is far more convenient for me to have a McCain than an Obama.

3. Obama would be a “special needs” president, requiring too much from me at this current stage in my life. He would be too expensive, and I would have to change my life too much to have him around.

4. If Obama does in fact make it past my own personal choice, and does emerge from the presidential womb, we can (according to him) leave him to lie there gasping for air, choking, and slowly freezing until he isnt viable any longer.

Frankly, the guys skin color means nothing to me, and I sure dont care about education. To me, he is the ultimate bigot. He judges life as "above his pay grade". And hes a wuss about it. He wont vote anything but "present" when it might clearly define his positions, and his reasoning (for having so much education) is so self indulgent and afraid of external critique, he cannot be trusted. He makes Clinton look down right pedestrian in matters politcal and charismatic. He comes off like a narcissist, doing whatever will get him the most attention and votes. And willing to prostitute his ability to get more.

I aint a big fan of McCain, but I hope he beats OBama.

My dad is a beatles song

2008-10-13T11:32:00.000-07:00

Today is my Dads Birthday. He sent us all an email informing us he had now arrived at the prestigous milestone no o ne ever thinks they are getting to ("Will you still need me, will you still feed me when Im 64....?")

We all miss my parents being out here in KC. Many of my friends enjoy my folks as well. Im not sure it would be easy to explain to you why Dad/GrandPa is so special. Trying to put words around that doesnt seem to really capture the feelings well. And some thins might be cheapened by saying them in such a common forum like this.

Following is one of my all time favorite pictures. Part of it is Israels wild hair, cutie pie glasses, and THAT LAUGH!! But the reason she is laughing is because Grandpa is being silly. Just silly enough to make her giggle. If your heart can see it well enough, you might understand why Grandpa is so special. Israels response seems to capture what most people I kknow feel around my Dad.

Happy Birthday Dad. And Im sure Mom will still feed you... I know we all need you. So youre safe.

Whee ha... has it started"New World' yet?

2008-10-08T16:46:00.000-07:00

I heard this on NPR a few days ago, and thought to myself "Thats interesting, lets see if it comes out int he news"

Sure enough. The Eurpoean union is stating the financial cisis is worldwide, and needs to be fixed, on an INTERNATIONAL level, and beleives the EU model is the way to sape the new financial order

Here is a quote as well. It doesnt go into the same detail, but that sounds frightening.

"New World'

French President Nicolas Sarkozy, who convened the Oct. 4 meeting, called for a global summit ``as soon as possible'' to implement ``a real and complete reform of the international financial system.'' He said ``all actors'' must be supervised, including credit-rating firms and hedge funds. Executive-pay systems must also be reviewed, he said.
``We want a new world to come out of this,'' Sarkozy said. ``We want to set up the basis for a capitalism of entrepreneurs, not speculators.'' "

They are coming...

2008-09-30T06:26:00.000-07:00

Last year, we lived in California until Oct 15. We didnt buy a house until Nov 15th or so. When we got to this house, it was wonderful, but it had a big issue I have neverdealt with before...

leaves...

This palce as COVERED. We have 3 very large trees, with very dense foilage. There were piles of leaves in the driveway and by the front door that were 2 feet deep, and several weeks old and compacted.

I had to clean out gutters when it rained because I realized something was in them. I was packed.

I took all the leaves intothe backyeard after it stopped snowing and icing, and ground them up witht he lawnmower. Brown Leaf Mold is EXCELLENT fertilizer. We had so many acorns it was insane. Ill have to deal with those proactively next year.

Im not sure waht to do. I already mowed, and ground up all the leaves, but my yard is getting covered again. Im just not emotionally prepared for this inasion, and might have to retreat into technology and Home Depot and buy something mechanical to deal with this.

The price of living in paradise.....

Equity

2008-09-26T11:26:00.000-07:00

If you ever prayed a "God end abortion prayer" and didnt realize the follow through was helping adopt, you need to contribute here....

Im sick of end abortion prayers. Been sick a long time. Originally Im sure it was revelatory, now it is just sentimental. Im grateful, now lets grow. This isnt for specialized people, of small remnants.

GET OFF YOUR ASS AND HELP! OR STOP PRAYING WITH YOUR MOUTH!!! IF GOD ANSWERS YOUR PRAYERS, WE WILL BE MORE GUILTY OF FATHERLESSNESS THAN WE ALREADY ARE!!!!!!!

"Adoption gains us equity in the case against abortion"-Randy Bohlender

Google HEart Attack

2008-09-25T17:10:00.000-07:00

I guess Google had a party. This is what they served. Googlicious Bacon Cheeseburges on Krsipy Kreme

In the "What is this world coming to?" Department

2008-09-24T09:39:00.001-07:00

"Man passes gas, gets charged with battery"

This my friends is sick. Im mean really sick. What is this world coming to whe you cant fart on a cop? Some civil servant that is...

I hope my wife doesnt read this and get any ideas.

Beba and the Fonue

2008-09-13T15:36:00.000-07:00

Beba had an encounter with a marshmellow and chocolate fondue.

Skew Flip

2008-09-12T05:19:00.000-07:00

I have a feeling Im beginning to enter into a Skew Flip.

I know the definition is something turning and heading in the opposite direction, but these kind of maneuvers are also used as a way of changing dirction, and/or using gravity and other frces to accelerate or decllerate.

Thats what might be happenning in my brain. I have had some interesting discussions with some folks, about a subject that has so much gravity to it I find my head and my heart joining in a partnership I havent experienced for quite some time.

I dont know how to think well about these topics, and yet I know this is what I hav done for years, just in a slightly different context. I feel surprisingly confident about my own abilities, and what is now emerging is a certain interest in being more than just a reactionary resource, but a proactive, shaping, directing kind of way.

I normall am not like this. I like to play it safe. I can help, but I wont lead. I can throw my ideas in the ring, but I dont do anything more than that (thats also due to reality of my inability to administrate and detail manage without external help and controls). I can tell you whats wrong analytically, and even try and help imagine a better solution, but Im never able to be in the day to day execution.

I have found that I dont like to bulldog my way into things, because I dont like other eople doing that, and I dont want to be like that. So I hint and hmmm and haaa, and suggest, waiting for someone to notice what a special person I am and invite and/or pursue my involvement. I realize this self protectionary behavior has outlived its function. It is great when you are full of immaturity, lack your own sense of identity, and want to make sure you arent doing things for self gratifying promotion.

However, there comes a time when you have to admit how God made you, what you are interested in, what you want, and then make every honest, healthy attempt to do it. YOu keep open ears to God for warnings and signals to back off. You listen to friends when they tell you you might be over the line. You mae sure you err on the side of caution, because no one wants to be an arrogant idiot (well actually we all like t be it, just not to come accross that way).

What Im really talking about is a deeper place of masculinity. Masculinity is a state of being, not a code of conduct. And all men and wopmen grow and develop into deeper expressions of this as they mature. For someone like me, this process has been so long and so difficult and fraght with error because I hated men, but I really just hated the false image of men. I had to get through that, and then I had to get through hating women. I hated everybody. At least I was fair.

Then I had to start growing. And the I had to get over hating myself. I still struggle with that more than I want to. That mgiht be one of those things we dont get out of until we get into the new.

But I have been in this for a long time. I cannot mumble falsely humble things and self deprecate myself just to try and make sure Im not being self promoting. The reality is, God ahsnt led me through the last 10 years with no fruit. Im not playing tiddly winks here. I might have a lot of growth to do, but that doesnt have any bearing on how much I have grown already.

There is a time, and I think I am hitting it, where you have to look at yourself honestly, and adjust your understanding of yourself. Im not talking pumping yourself up. Im talking about honestly recognizing where you have changed, grown, developed, and update your own profile. We are so familiar with the weak and the broken parts (hopefully). It takes us so long to inventory those thigns, and it takes so much effort to maintain a lifestyle of avaiability to Holy Spirit to grow in them, that you can easily allow personal morbidity to ovettake honest evaluation.

I think Im starting to experience this process. Im not entitled to anything. I havent earned anything. I have followed Yeshua through my own valley of shadows of death. I am confident in death, but I havent made the transition to confidence in Living. Im not fighting a daily battle to get the bad out. Im not living a daily experience of trying to fill up with good. I feel as if Im starting to say "I can die when He tells me, I can fill up when He tells me, so Im going to start tenderly, haltingly, finding my own legs and walking alongside Him".

He has a place for me, and land, a field for me. It was mine befoire I was born. 38 years of work so far to get me ready to go see it. I will continue to grow, and die, but as I start working my own inheiritance from Him. I want Him to look at me and say "You did good. You know why? Because you let me do it through you". The key word is Through. God made me on purpose. He likes the ME part as well. He likes Him, and He likes ME. And I need to do something about it.

Graysons Mission

2008-09-08T05:17:00.000-07:00

Please read this http://rbohlender.blogspot.com/2008/09/burrito-prayer-movement.html

Then lets put our feet and ourhands to it. Please do the following:

1. Buy 2 Chipotle Gift Cards (in any amount, none is too small). 1 Card is for Graysons personal use, and the other is to fund his mission and his heart.

2. If you dont have a Chipotle, then put a few bucks in Graysons hands so that he has a giving budget.

Im serious about this. We intend to do it this week. If those of you from outof town want to help, please mail them to us and we will give them to Grayson. We will get it to him. Email me at mastersolutionsllc at g mail

I cried a bucket or 2 reading this. Those of you who know Grayson will see him clearly in this. This is a child who would sell everything he has to adopt a child from Sudan. And while it is obvious his parents have been a huge factor in his giving, it is also clear this is a gift in his life. He is made this way. When we see a child move out in thier calling, we need to throw everything we have at it.

This is good stuff

2008-09-04T10:58:00.001-07:00

I dont always read these things, but this one had me cracking up, she says it better than I could.

http://www.anncoulter.com/

"When liberals start acting like they're opposed to pre-marital sex and mothers having careers, you know McCain's vice presidential choice has knocked them back on their heels. "

"Speaking of Democrats with newborn children, the media weren't particularly concerned about John Edwards running for president despite his having a mistress with a newborn child. "

This is fantastic. I hear Sarah Palin explained that her former job is like Obmas only she actually had responsibilities! LOL. She has MORE executive experience than McCain, Obama AND Biden together.

In reality, my main concern has always been, and continues to be, the next president has a high chance of appointing at least 2 supreme court justices. Im voting against Obama, and now I have a reason to vote FOR McCain! Wheeee....

GBF

2008-09-01T08:34:00.000-07:00

Imhere at IHOP for the Global Bridegroom Fast. I dont think I have gone to the GPR during oneof these in so long. Im trying hard just to remember and participate!

Anyhow, I realize the simple beauty of people doing what they love. The prayer room is packed about 70-80%, which means we would all have to give up the seats betwen us and the other guy to make more room, so it looks full.

And it is full of the wildest combinations. A guy with a 9-10 motnh old, and every so often they prayer walk together, change a diaper, play with teething toys, all the while simply doing something they seem to both love, together.

People dancing, people walking, mostly just seemingly happy to be able to pray today and be able to do it with others. One lady that I know is one of the most humble, gentle people, mother, intercessor, pillar. She is also the lioness that I saw literally call down a spirit of confusion upon Robert Mugabes regime just a few weeks ago.

I see neo-hippies, intellectuals, kids, babies, uptight and unwound, and beyond. Dark and light, ex this or that, called to missions, called to contemplation, called to play music, called to sit. It is wonderful. I forget how wonderful. The precious things are not always ont he surface, and God hides them to make sure they are kept for the people that want to see it, that will even stop tot hink about it.

Do this, or else

2008-08-25T17:37:00.000-07:00

make a bogus account ont his site, and nominate it as a worthy project, and AMEX will donate 1.5 million. This would help adopt a bunch of kids with Downs syndrome.

http://www.membersproject.com/project/view/H1LEJ0

Just what breakfast is like

2008-08-23T12:54:00.000-07:00

I sat in my hotel restaurant eating food that I probably shouldnt, and my mind began to wander. I began to think about my wife, and I got so teary eyed I was debating getting back to my room and letting myself have a real good cry.

It is obvious to everyone who knows me how fortunate I am. They tell me this. They can see it. But the benefit to me is even less profound (if possible) than the reality of living with such a wonderful woman. I cannot explain how well she mediates love and affection and partnership to me. I guess we are still considered newlyweds, but it doesnt ever feel like it. It feels like a part of myself exists in another body, somewhere else.

Im not talking saccarhine sweet, sentimental type stuff. Im talking about the reality of being with someone, andit feeling o normal and natural, you dont always consciously experience being separate. Yet she is "other", because Im not loving myself, I am being loved. And being loved by a trustworthy, respected, safe, sincere person. She doesnt love me because she needs me, it would be silly to think that she needs me, as there is nothing I have to improve her. She doesnt love me with a hint of condescension, or fear. Just loves me, with quality, as if she isnt even trying to, just does.

All I could do is cry. All I could experience at that point was a real sense of Gods affection for me. I think GOd loves everyone He made, but it is hard to believe He loves anyone as much, or as well, as me. And I understand that more now than ever.

Then I think about my kids. About Israel, a woman who is my daughter. That is far different than a daughter who is a toddler, or a preteen etc... All this quality, wrapped up in such a wise, and personable heart. Such a good listener, and an even better advisor. She is far more perceptive than anyone else in the family, and she ha never bee anything other than joy for me to be with. I wish my own heart was easier to communicate, because the emotions I feel seem to be so deep, and hard to put simple words to.

Then you look at Judah. A living party. She is a daughter who is a preteen, and my second. I have a little advantage with her, because she is like me, but much more enjoyable She has a brain that is fascinating. She is as special and dear to me, as if the pieces Israel isnt, Judah is. Like a big complimentary piece of pie with ice cream. Judah has never hit her capacity that I know of. She is simply tremendous potential mentally, and personally, and it keeps peeking at me from around a corner. My life is full with her.

Then I realize Havah is here too. I have been so long with my 2, that I forget my baby. Yet another girl, and as cute as God made her sisters (if indeed that is possible for even Him to do it 3 times). This child is seeming like a personality mix between my olders, yet totally different as a person. She is appearing and emerging with quite a personality, a squawker, a friendly silly face that will almost always give a smile to you if you ask for one, and sometimes lately, without asking. IT is amazing to see a child with older sibling like Beba and Judah. The delight she is seeming to have with her sisters, and their attitude and behavior towards her is beyond price. I dont know what it is like to have older siblings, but I can only imagine the exerience as I see her.

I just get brought to tears. I am the man who did everything wrong, most of the time willingly, defiantly, even leading others. I seem almost crushed with Kindness. IT swarms at me emotionally at these times, seemingly out of the blue.

And all I can do is enjoy it. I dont even have confidence that I will respond in any true, effective way with righteousness or holiness. I have tried m best, and come up with nothing. I never seem able to do anything other than just get hit by a wave of realization that I am indeed fortunate, for reasons I dont seem able to understand or control.

And I ask God "I dont understand how you work. I want to understand how you think and work because this is to much for me" and I feel like He says "No. I made you to receive this, not comprehend it. Besides, if I told you how I work in this, you would take it and use it to run and direct and manipulate others."

I think I understand that. IT makes sense to me. It takes faith just to receive it, and enjoy it, and not have to understand it, and not try and position myself to direct it. I just need to be thankful, and enjoy it.

Finally back home...well....

2008-08-20T03:10:00.000-07:00

We got back Monday eve from Washington D.C. It was quite a relief. We have been on the road over 2 weeks. The day after school ended, the girls and us packed up with gram, and went to Orlando/Lakeland for a week or so. Then te girls went to California for 3 weeks. Then we went to DC for 2. We got back 2 days before school started.

It was a hard trip on many levels. Had I known in advance the disorganization, stress, and physical element, I wouldnt have gone. Im glad I didnt know.

I hit the wall with some of my personality quirks. I dont like chaos and dysfunction (that isnt of my own making), and I had to stop flodding and endure rather than solve. I a strategic guy by nature and by vocation. Not neccesarily a good one, but I have unique niche that IW ork in, and Im used to analyzing problems, making plans and solutions,a nd then watching other people execute them towards a know, quantifiable goal. This was like hitting a target that kept shrinking, and moving, and changing dimensions.

It all came down to trust, and hope. If it werent for the sincereity, and earnestness of the planners and people involved, you would have quit too. But when you press through the surface, and start working with people, alongside them, and see their hearts, enduring outside chaos is made easier by an offsetting comraderie.

Israel had a great time, and Danie did too. We met Benjamins brother Jeff, and the girls had 2 older brothers for the week that were wonderful. In fact, Havah did too. Thse guys we the best people I have been with for a long time.

I didnt attend The Call much, and didnt plan too anyway. Im not much into it. Judah and I stopped in for about an hour, I got carried away ito birthing intercession for about 30 minutes, and had to practice breathing and relaxing I had learned in Bradley classes! LOL. Then we skipped off to see the Hope Diamond.

The drive was hard, but mitigated be seeing Danies sister and her family. This was another highlight of our trip. Any opportunity to see them is well worth it.

Now Im in ahotel in atlanta, trying to figure out how to excercise, and then go to a trade show. Ths is a different scenario than Im used too. Im here with a partner, and we are exhibiting for ourselves. Im hoping to generate some business here and start breaking away from the previous stuff I have been doing with Planit.

Updates From DC

2008-08-11T04:44:00.000-07:00

Well we have been here in DC for a week. We stayed the first half of last week in Maryland, right by Annapolis. We had sucha pleasant time, Danie and I remarked how we felt like it was a luxurious vacation!

Then we moved into the DC area, and things got rough. We knew going in we were going to be part of an IHOP/Cal type situation, and we were certainly on target! Organizing this scale of an event is hard. Doing it with free labor (interns) is even harder. Doing it with no budget is even harder still.

Things have stablilized. It is far more consuming then even we expected. I doubt we will get to do anything we hoped, even on a small scale. That is a real dissapointment, but it is part of the deal.

Irael is having a GREAT time! We drop her off int he morning, and get her back at dinner, and can see the wildness and the fun she is having as only parents can. I have to interpret her behavior and actions, ask questions, and try to figure out what it is like to be 13 years od and galavanting all over the Capital with 100+ other wild eyed teens. All I know is she is flying, and it makes me content.

Judah went to the Smithsoniam yesterday, and saw the Hope diamond. She reported it was a complete disappointment! LOL. It is the size of a walnut. This is the grls who found out about the gems and minierals at the Smithsonian online, and absorbed herself in them and decorated her computer with all sorts of pictures.

All said, you hit a point as a parent where you are far more content seeing your kis having fun and doing exciting things than you could ever feel doing them yourself. It is sincerely worth it. These opportunites are so wonderful, and I am so grateful. I am living in a townhouse in Capitol Hill, with great people, watching my kids grow and explore. Im not sure I could contain any more than this.

Plant a Church?

2008-08-05T05:06:00.001-07:00

I read a recent post on Randys blog, and it linked to another blog that was really funny. A story about being stuck in a location that was rife with bigotry, and Randy's remark was "So this guy says "We need to plant a church here!""

What I am about to say is no reflection on either of them. I am sure that someone whom Randy esteems so much by definition must be someone worth esteeming.

However, I couldn't get that thought out of my mind. As I was driving through North Ohio, among unbelievable stretches of corn fields, I kept running that thought over and over in my head.

Why am I so bothered by the idea? I understand the sentiment, and in fact agree with it. However, it is the WAY the sentiment is manifested that just sticks in me. What has starting a non profit corporation got to do with the Kingdom expanding in manifestation in a local area? What has creating structures and systems and "planting" them in an area have to do with following Christ?

I have to believe it is simply programming and conditioning. It is how people think the church is, so they want to do more of it. Im sure God sees the intent, and loves it. But I think it is time to break away from thinking and practice that doesnt have any significant model in scripture, and has proved by most estimates (Barna for example) to be far less relevant than we think.

Planting a church in a place is like planting a barn in the middle of a cornfield.

The reality is the church is all around us. It needs to be encouraged, strengthened, edified etc... but what I believe it DOESNT need is more event driven, centralized, hierarchies to "gather". Im betting (and did a little asking around) that the person references int he blog post, is probably the most giving, generous, and sincere man. So I would bet he will be successful. That why this isnt a commentary on him or the post. It is my thinking through the concept.

Putting a building, or a gathering, or a movement, or anything, in a community is like taking a cornfield, and rearranging it to put a big fat barn in where the corn was growing. And then its effect is to create dependency on the barn and the infrastructure. The barn becomes the point of the farm, regardless of what it says. It is inevitable.

But the point of a farm is the corn. IT is the corn growing and developing and giving itself to the harvest. Whatever that means.

Im not sure Im being clear enough, and it might come across wrong. But I will say this again:

Planting a church in a city is like planting a barn int he middle of a cornfield.

Sometimes forwarded SPam is funny

2008-07-26T17:40:00.000-07:00

THE IRISH - SUCH CLEAR THINKERS

Leave it to the Irish to cut through the crap and make the whole

issue crystal clear...

Thoughts from across the pond.

 An email from Ireland to the brethren in the States..a point to

 ponder despite your political affiliation:

 We, in Ireland, can't figure out why people are even bothering

 to hold an election in the United States.

 On one side, you have a pants wearing lawyer, married to a

 lawyer who can't keep his pants on, who just lost a long and heated

 primary against a lawyer who goes to the wrong church who is married

 to yet another lawyer who doesn't even like the country her husband wants

 to run.

 Now...On the other side, you have a nice old war hero whose name

 starts with the appropriate "Mc" terminology married to a good

looking younger woman who owns a beer distributorship.

 What in Lord's name are ye lads thinking over there in the

 colonies??'



Now that is funny....

Cute Girls

2008-07-20T15:50:00.001-07:00

Some of my girls are away, and some are here. All are cute.

Here is some really cute pictures

Wow Wow Wow

2008-07-14T16:09:00.000-07:00

This is a wild group of people. SOunds a lot like people Im around, only with slightly different agendas.

While I cannot say Im entirely connected to all they support (peaceful demonstrations against the industrial military complex hasnt grabbed me yet), they WAY they do it is incredible. And the infrastructure they seem to have built over a 10 year period is very intriguing.

http://www.thesimpleway.org/PSC/index.html

Wheeeeee Haaaaaaa

2008-07-14T15:55:00.000-07:00

"Charity wins awards and applause, but joining the poor
gets you killed. People do not get crucifi ed for charity.
People are crucified for living out a love that disrupts
the social order, that calls forth a new world. People
are not crucified for helping poor people. People are
crucified for joining them."

http://www.thesimpleway.org/shane/sampler.pdf

My secret is out....

2008-07-11T14:16:00.000-07:00

I didnt want to say anything to anyone, but Jason Babcock "outed" me. I will be relying heavily on Randy Bohlender, who successfully lost a failed campaign recently with his awesomely patronizing "Together we can make a mess" slogan, as well as "Come on now, dumber things have happened". He should provide great insight into the irrelevant movement where I am indeed the strongest.

I think my eclectic policy will have an equal amount of people both curiously satisfied and revolted:

1. Im not sure what my primary colors are going to be, but they will probably be primary.

2. Im pretty sure my theme song might just be "Dance this mess around". I think it speaks to the people I really care about, because Im not anyones Limburger.

3. I am for arming deer, mostly just to make things more interesting and fair. They dont have arms, so it is both a gift, and a privilege. If you have arms, you should have some guns.

4. I subscribe to the late George Carlins combo solutions to immigration/gas price policy. I think it is fair, and I dont mind ripping of dead comedians.

5. Im somewhere between an ultra-zionist (I love our friend Zion, and want the est for him) and mildly anti-semitic, it just depends, like it does to my opponent, who I am talking too, and how much $$ they have. The odd thing being, the Jews (self admittedly) have all the money, and the media, so Im pretty sure where my affections stand.

6. I hate Rap, and will probably declare it unpatriotic so I can get Bill O'Reilly on my side.

7. I believe in raw milk, soft, ripened cheese, regardless of the risk on strange bacteria and/or parasites.

8. Im against underage drinking, therefore I intend to manipulate the drinking age indexed to my relative age in dog years. This should make most people besides me under the age, which provides me a glut in the fine wine market ensuring good cheap read (like me) for anyone that "I roll with".

Im open to any suggestions, especially how to erradicate grammar and handwriting, foie gras, and mowing lawns.

More cute pics

2008-07-09T06:56:00.000-07:00

Maybe Im not aware of my heart...

2008-07-09T06:48:00.000-07:00

I just took my kids to the airport, and dropped them off. I have never done this before. Their mother has already been in California, and they are joining her for a vacation.

I was fine until I put htem on the plane, and then walked away. I thought I might lose it. Im not against losing it, in fact, I appreciate the ability to feel highly. I just didnt feel it coming on.

I think maybe, Im not as connected to my heart as I think. I wondered if I would cry. I figured it would be ok if I did. But as I got to the airport, it didnt seem like it was going to happen. Then, by the time I got to the car, I ad to wail a little bit, and yell a bit, and then felt immensely better.

It kind of snuck up on me.

I love my kids. Thankfully, their phones werent on, or they didnt realize as I was staggering down the hallway trying ot call them, because I think then I would have REALLY lost it, and that might have bothered them!!

I now have to stay busy doing things until they get here.

what my kids do at a party

2008-07-07T15:09:00.000-07:00

found this on the secret stash....

secret stash...

2008-07-07T14:59:00.000-07:00

I found a secret stash. Of pictures... and I took a movie of my own...

Toys Toys Toys

2008-06-12T04:35:00.000-07:00

None of you care, but I do....

I sold all my guitar gear, except my guitars! Well most of it anyway. I was getting tired of hauling this huge wood pedalboard around. As much as I liked my setup, and was dialing it in, it was becomging difficult to use.

As friend, widely considered by this friend to be the "Eric Clapton" of IHOP-KC, helped me through something I had always struggled with; namely using the old school, MAGNETIC PICKUPS on my hyper expensive, custom guitar.

You know what these are, most every electric guitar has them. However, I never used them. I used the digital pickups secretly installed, and controlled synthesizers and "modeled" guitars and amplifiers. For the last several years, I used these pretty much all the time. And when I tried to use my own normal magnetic pickups, it sounded awful.

Then I took my guitar to Guitar Hell----I mean Center. I plaed it through the next generation of my gear, as well as through a normal old electric guitar amp.

What a difference! Even though this amp was a little beat up etc... the sound was sweet and rich. So then I took it over to Claptons house, and played it through his super cool and expensive amp. Wow. Then Mr Clapton played it! LOL. Then I realized what I was missing. Mostly talent and skill, but also real electric guitar tone!

So I realized it is probably time to update. But how? Then Mr friend says "Check out this stuff". I demoed it, and Im sold.

Then I checked out the synth they offer. Native Instruments makes what seems to be the industry standard Sampler and Synths. A Sampler is essentially a toolt hat plays back samples of sounds. And the samples are insane. There is over 50 GB of samples. Just to give you an idea, I have a flute sound. Each note is "sampled" 8 times, at different dynamics, or volumes. This sound is so realistic that as I change volume and aatack, the tone of the flute changes. When I play soft, you can actually hear the air and the click of the keys. As I play harder, the flute gets more sharp and bright.

There are tons of insturments, sampled Grand pianos, somuch stuff.

The synths that come with this are too wild. There is 11 different ones, so modeled after classic analog synths, and some wild digital stuff that IC ant even explain. Think The Matrix movies, because they were made using the same synth.

Then I have Hammond B3 organs that are so realistic, and a drum sampler that is far beyond what I ever thought to get.

This all adds up to an incredible palatte of sounds, that are far more realisitic and at a level of quality that is far out of my league. This is going to be very fun.

However, after selling most of my stuff, Im finding that I might not have scaled my set up down. Although I have a laptop, I also have a foot controller, and a midi converter, along with an external hard drive! SO I might have made a bigger mess, but I do have an awesome setup,a nd I will work on simplifying it.

All this just to play for intercessors! LOL. I cannot wait to get out into the regular world as well.

A strange Sense of Gravity

2008-06-10T07:27:00.000-07:00

I found out Sunday that there is a meeting for all musicians cleared to be on teams here at IHOP. Every month they have a meeting on the second Monday for the musicians and "worship leaders". Every even month all musicians attend.

When I got there, I had a strange sense. I didn't expect it. I looked around the room, and I realized that this whole machine of IHOP/FOTB, as big as it is, was really only staffed by a couple hundred musicians. That may sound like a lot, but if you look at 2 prayer rooms, and almost constant 24 hour sets (JPR isnt always 24 hr), broadcast all over the world, you realize how much is getting done with far less than it seems.

Then I also had another interesting sense. I began to realize, I was a part of this. Albeit in a very small, almost insignificant way. I play on a few teams, but I play electric guitar primarily. If I dont play, it really doesnt change anyones experience of the music.

But the point was, Im in a room full of people, who have about the only 24 hour, mature, and focused prayer room I know about. And there is a tremendous prophetic history to this. And my personal history is tied event wise to this. Lou Engle spoke about having significant events in his life occurring at the same time that events were happening at IHOP. I have several scenarios like that I have come ot realize since we have been here.

Im actually a part of something, and it is a pretty cool something. It is significant, and helps people all over the world. It has a history, and a prophetic future that is integral to the work of the Kingdom. How did I get here?

And then I began to realize how comfortable I am with leadership here. This is the first time I know of personally, where I can look right at people who are leaders, and see the elements of leadership and servanthood God has described and related to me over the last 7-8 years. Im actually very comfortable with claims and directions and actions taken by the people here. It really doesn't have that sick and twisted element that communities I have been involved with before have had.

There is an ongoing self critique of leadership style and content, doing everything possible to make sure it is about God, not us. On every level. From the way things are set in vision, tot he way correction is handled, to the way ministry is conducted.

I especially like the emphasis on not adding anything to the work of Holy Spirit. Staying out of the way as much as possible, and keeping theatrics and "signature" exhibitions of charismatic behavior out of day to day ministry. I love a good old Holy Spirit swamping, but I also feel comfortable knowing Im free not to draw any attention,a nd my goal tis to help someone be as focused on God as possible, staying out of the way. Mike said it very well "We just dont want anyone doing anything that could, in anyway, draw attention or intrigue to ourselves. We dont need to do anything to demonstrate how special we are during ministry to someone. We need ot be people who ALREADY KNOW HOW SPECIAL WE ARE, and because of that, dont have to exaggerate or distract. "

That isnt his exact quite, but it was very similar.

Im really blessed. Danie and I have talked about this a lot. We both feel so comfortable being here, and a part of this community. The way God leads here, via people as well as His own direct communication, is so helpful, and so easy. The goals and objectives are consistent with what we believe and understand. The openness to Holy Spirit, as well as the call to personal integrity is wonderful.

I cannot believe Im a part of this. All I can do is say thank you to so many, who have spent so much of themselves, to provide me with such opportunity. And I might never get to.

My thoughts on Florida/Lakeland

2008-06-02T18:21:00.000-07:00

We are here in Florida for the last night. We have had the opportunity to go for 3 nights and 1 day service here in lakeland. It has been interesting, and progressively powerful.

The reality is, I agree with a few other people I know in that the experience has all the earmarks of being truly a move of God, coming through human vessels. And the humanity seems to be the biggest stumbling block for me, but doesnt seem to be any problem for most other folks.

For instance, there is a lot of talk about "not being religious". However, there is so much religious rhetoric it is silly. Last night, there was a 10 year old boy who was brough up on stage, and he was aksed " Do you love Jesus" to which he replied "Yes", and then "Do you love the anoiniting" to which he replied "No" and stunned a few people. However, when the term was explained, he replied "Yes"

There is so much culture in this, but in reality there is so much in my everyday experience. Just being at IHOP requires a handbook for terms (Literally. In the Harp and Bowl handbook there is a glossary of terms and phrases that are so common people outside the bubble need help).

But this has really forced me to look past my own religiosity. I have to make a concerted effort to come against it. This is small thin. It has revealed how much effort I spend in trying to get things ordered in my own mind, which is very quirky and suprisingly eccentric.

It took me 3 nights to warm up. Only by last night did I actually experience a significant connection.

Our first day Israel and I wentforward for prayer, and a guy essentially thumped me on the head, and moved on. I didnt feel a thing. All intensity, and no anointing I have no clue, but I have to assume I am far more responsible for that than anyone else in the equation.

The second nioght, during the music, I sensed a strong anointing come in for a time, and I actually had faith. To the point Ic ould easily have prayed for anyone sick and beleived. I dont know if that would have healed them, but I had faith.

The 3rd night, I began to drink it all in. Ithas been some time since I have done that. There was a child in a stroller next to us. I did not realize she was in need of healing. After a poit when I realized she needed healing, I looked at her. And a wave of what can only be called compassion hit me very deeply. It hit me, and I realized I had faith for her to be healed. Then it hit me. I have had so much impartation over the last few weeks, yet have not been healed. But at that point I felt something happen.

The little girls ended up suffering from spinal muscular atrophy, meaning essentially her muscles are not developing properly, and she cannot stand at all. As I looked up, her mother and her aunt were helping support her as she was beginning to stand. Her feet were actually pushing against her seat, and they were both crying.

They ended up going forward to the front to soak etc... and I went up with Israel later. More on that in the next post.

The point is, there is much going on, and there is much humanity trying to interpret it. There is lots of hype, I feel confident. However I realize more than ever how much hype there is to all of us. We just do it in different ways. The hype in this case is simply people being very excited, and wanting so badly for something so significant come out. Todd Bently is definitely in his element, and he is being as faithful as possible. I beleive he is earnest, and very much doing everything he can to invite, sustain, and nurture anything that he can to continue. I dont agree with where he is trying to head with all this, but I respect him, and beleiv he is called ot this far more than I ever am. YOu dont see me up there with that kind of faith, leading and marshalling the rsourcesneeded to allow thousands of people to visit nightly. And MUCH to his credit, he does not take offerings on TV except for 2 nights a week. The rest of the time, he takes it far too late for any business minded person to agree with, after most of his offerings are walked out.

Im looking forward to Kansas City getting hit with this. Im wondering what it will be like, and how IHOP will respond. I feel more at peace and more connected to the model of ministry IHOP intend now than ever. As conservative as it may seem, it is far more radical, and has far mroe room for full exdpression than people realize, while at the same tim removing every block to hype and exhibitionism humanly possible. I hope IHOP gets touched with this.

My life is so fun right now

2008-05-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

YEsterday, we had 6 people from Poland over for food. How fun. The experience of meeting people that come from the other side of the world, and experiencing the fellowship of the Spirit together. WOw. 30 years ago, I would never have been able to emet them, they were inside a communist country closed to the West. Now, we are going to email! LOL. We hope to help them bring 150 people in November to IHOP for training.

We are leaving for Florida tomorrow. We are celebrating a few things. A family honeymoon we never took, and we are going to see the Revival. I need healing on a few different levels, and the girls want to see and feel the power of God. After seeing my student Kelsey so radically, and undeniably healed, I have greater faith than ever. A few things have popped in my spirit the last few days, and God is setting up for a visitation here, and hopefully, even more like "in my house" that is a great thing to hope for. Mike Bickle had an excellent practical teaching on this yesterday, and I encourage anyone who can to hear it. I have had visitations at my home, by myself, and with friends at their hous in varying degrees of intensity. Im excited about the ones coming soon again. Im ready to persevere more and steward them even better.

Plus DisneyWorld! And Gram is coming too!

It has been so wonderful having Gram with us. We want to keep her forever. My daughter gets to have time constantly with her Grandmother. You can see what a special thing it is, especially in the mornings. She goes in there, and becomes the center of the world. And it makes a huge imppact on her, and makes Danielle and I so blessed. And at nights Judah goes in there, and likes to listen to Adventures in Odyssey while Gram sews and such. They kind of have a little "date" I think.

I just bought new guitar stuff, and the sound is incredible. Im selling off my current gear,, so if anyone wants some great stuff let me know! All of my new things are in a laptop,a nd the ability I have to play now is hard to believe. The Guitar Rig 3 is the best sounding stuff I have ever played through, and the synths and samplers I bought are so powerful, I really cannot touch much more than 10% of it. The sound quality of the samples is going to be incredible.

I dont deserve any of this. I know it, but I plan on enjoying it for all its worth. There are truly seasons, and I have had several hard ones. Even if I werent so blessed, God would still be good. This is true. But it is so much joy to experience it. And I think He likes to watch us enjoy the good gifts.

I think we are missing something...

2008-05-23T04:01:00.000-07:00

Im grateful for what I see and hear in Lakeland. Same thing for Charlotte, and anywhere else God is choosing to localize Himself. When you connect with that, it is radical. I have hours of testimony of God visiting me, and changing me radically. There is no substitute.

What I dont like, and dont agree with, is the emphasis on stadiums and meetings. It is a concoction of human minds. The idea that if something is happenning, we must therefore get as many people around the man with the strongest personality, and keep this machine going as long as possible, is not only bizzare from a scriptural standpoint, but ineffective for the long run.

I love Todd Bentley. I love his childlike heart, and his willingness to go for it. But it is a strain for me to watch new wine coming through an old wineskin. The intensity of charismania (and I is one) is not an indicator of difference, only intensity. It is too easy to suggest that because someone yells, screams, has angelic experience, shakes, laughs etc... that the "wineskin" is different. The wine might be, but the vessel doesnt have to be qualified.

I have made wine. Surprisingly good wine. I made it 2 different times, using the same vessels. The last batch is really good, but different. Same glass bottles, and similar oak casks.

So I am all for this thing. Im going. I want impartation, I want the wine. Im a lush at heart. But I dont see anything different at all yet except the duration. And every time I hear about building a center, or a building "for this move of Gawd", or similar language, I just groan.

Im not against meetings, Im not against gathering. But I am against setting up tabernacles on hill tops to try and keep everything going. As impressive as Moses and Elijah are, they arent the Son. We have to abandon the old things (the Law and the Prophets) as the focus when the Son is there. The old things pass away, and they still serve their purpose, but they were to point and lead to the full one.

In addition, the primal church wasnt built via meetings. They had them, and it was an effective tool, btu the reality is the church. the body, the ekklesia, were a living organism going about their day. They gathered house to house. Im not a fan of "house church" any more than I am a fan of any other form. They all have people in em, and they all get sick. Im a proponent of "the Church", wherever it is, wherever it goes.

The numbers dont work. I know about the prophecies about stadiums. It hink they are great. But I dont beleive those visions are the sum of what is going to happen, only a sign of what will happen. When we see those things, then we will know a move is afoot. But you couldnt get a significant part of the population exposed via stadiums.

Think of the numbers. Lets say each state has a stadium that can seat 100,000. Thats 5,000,000 total. The population is 350,000,000. It would take protracted meetings, over 70 days, non stop, with 100% turnover (people only coming to one meeting and going home) before the population would be touched. All dya,e veyr day, no stopping. Ask Randy Bohlender about the sheer finances needed to pull that off.

Now take that into perspective. There are 6,500,000,000 people worldwide. So if what I just said above happenned, less than 5% of the world will have been touched.

Yes we have media, yes we have communication mechanisms. But there is no way 50 anointed people can run long term meetings in the US, let alone outside it, for long enough, to touch a huge % of the world.

God never did it that way. Not when we was here in the flesh.

This whole idea of meeting centric Christianity has got to finally die. When the Body stops understanding itself primarily as an entity when gathered, the power and ability to sustain a tremendous wave of grace, mercy, healing, love, affection, deliverance, justice etc... i.e. "The Kingdom" will be simple. I beleive it is already here, just with an "old wineskin".

End of diatribe.... for now.

Odd thoughts...

2008-05-21T03:48:00.000-07:00

Life is good. Havah is growing,a nd learning to sleep. My lovely children (Havas "big sister" and "bigger sister") are ending their semester at The Daniel Academy. Summer is coming for them, and all of us. Looks like trips next week to Florida, then back here for summer camps and visitors, then possibly back on the road for a few weeks for Danielle and I while the big sisters go to California.

We had a Skype chat with the Phillips, and got to see Hope, their new baby from China. I need to get there and hold her. I hear she is great at head bonking.

Im enjoying playing music at the Justice Prayer Room. I played Bass Monday, and will again Thursday. As soon as you do that around here, you get asked to play a lot more. I really feel like Im doing about all I can, and will burn out if I play too much, or too often. Yesterdays set went by very fast, which is a trip. My playing ability is at the peak in my memory, which is wild. Putting my hands on my instrument a couple hours a day a few times a week has pushed my skill set up (for me). Im selling all my current gear, and investing in a laptop based system where I wont have to drag around a bunch of things, and get even better sounds.

I am waiting for the revivial/renewal thing to hit here. Things are percolating a bit, but not what I have hoped for. I have actually seen undeniable miracles, which is awesome, and Im excited. But when I think renewal or revival, it is a lot more intense and widespread than this. I have a few thoughts to share in the future about the problem of the math for people who really think stadiums are going to be the wave. It just doesnt compute.

Lou Engle had quite a direct word to IHOP, and then Terry Hartley did as well. I LOVE Terry. She is awesome. She helped me all year with my cooking class. There is a lot to that lady. Big things in tiny packages!

Work is plodding along, and I would like to get some serious revenue going. We are looking at beginning to adopt, starting the process sometime at the end of this year and seeing where it goes. I have sown into this for years, and beleive God will give us a harvest, and allow us to continue to sow. This is the main palce to give right now, widows and orphans.

On other fronts, we LOVE having my mother in law here. Kathy is an absolute joy. Randy Bohlender told me before I was married "Everything they say about Kathy Wheeler is true". It is. She is so fun to be with, and the woman is so creative. You should see the sewing and embroidery projects floating around the house. Ive never seen this type of thing. The kids all love her, and Havahs first word is sure to be "Gram!". What a blessing.

Off to JoCo prayer.

I love this

2008-05-08T10:20:00.001-07:00

I dont believe that is an expletive, but it might be.

My Student Kelsey

2008-04-30T14:51:00.001-07:00

This is my student, and I cannot wait to see her Thursday. She has been in agony for so long.

I love Todd Bently, however I am looking forward to the day when a man isnt at the center of these things. All Style issues aside, this guy is going for it. God does radical things with very broken people. Im in! If you find yourself offended, then try to look at the reality that God loves His own enough to work through anyone to get the job done. Also remember that if you were an ex drug addict, in prision,a nd completely lost, you would care what anyone else thought either.

Kelsey Hays is on at about the 3:00 mark almost exactly.

Thank goodness for IHOP

2008-04-30T08:01:00.000-07:00

So due to a misunderstanding on our loan for our house, our loan agent had to refinance us. It has been 6 months, and it was finally time. Because of the housing market in general, I was a little worried that we wouldnt actually have the 80% equity we have on our current loan, and that would end up screwing up the whole thing.

Well our house gained $2000 in value the last 6 months. I bet it is due to the great job Danie did on the babys room. Anyhow, this market,e ven with all the houses for sale, and some pending foreclosures, is stronger than normal. Thats due mainly to the IHOP. IHOP will be building a whole new campus on Harry Trumans old farm, and the city had a big thing about it int he county newspapaer. The amount of impact we make as an organization to this micro-local economy is pretty dramatic. It was a place that was deteriorating quite rapidly 10 years ago, but is far better off than neighboring communities due to the influx of people.

The one funny quote was the local school board commisioner, who said " The CFO of IHOP told me he has great confidence there will be a lot of these people enrolling their children in the local schools". LOL. Right. I dont know how they got that idea.

But anyway, Im so thankful. We raked leaves yesterday, I found a lawnmower int he shed, and ran it around until it was out of gas (I believe lawnmower are really just mini bikes int he making). Judah and her friend picked up acorns. Nice warm day, and we grilled veggies and chicken.

Then I went to Joseph COmpany Prayer, then the healing rooms for my blood pressure, then had a meeting with a local businessman who is interested in the same kind of thing about adoption I am. Then I came home and my lovely wife was putting the baby in her bouncer on a table by the window, in a new purple dress, so she could watch Zeb and his friend Shep run around the yard.

Tomorrow I go play the set at JPR.

What a life I have.

Donate... Now

2008-04-21T12:20:00.000-07:00

Im not ashamed to ask for money to donate to orphans. Donate, its good to do it.

http://specialneedsbaby.blogspot.com/

Excursions in IHOP

2008-04-21T11:33:00.000-07:00

I played my second set at IHOP today. Both times have been with the same team, at the JPR( Justice Prayer Room).

Last Thursday I had a great time. Kurt Weaver sat in for the leader, and I had played with Jurt a few times. It was a worship with the word set, which is a devotional type application of the Harp and Bowl model that allows the room to focus on particular bible passages, and reinterpret and develop them in the context of music.

It was the most fun I have had in years. I have been working hard to get my gear set up, and ready, and it paid off. Even though I was totally sleep deprived, I just flowed with it, and didnt think I made any terrible problems for anyone.

Today I had more fun than I probably have ever had. It was an Intercession set, and the actual leader was there. Good group of musicians, and of course, Im the oldest (and fattest). It is amazing what a great bass player will do for you, and this guy can play!!! The keyboardist is fascinating, she tries all sorts of alternate patches and synth parts, and is very competent so it adds so much. My job is to sit an noodle. Todd Phillips, eat your heart out.

The Intercession format is different, and typically more aggressive. The goal is to support the people there to get focused ont he prayer at hand being offered by the people who come up to the mikes. It goes in "cycles" just like the other type, but the content changes rapidly because the prayers are different.

The time went so fast. At one point, I hit that place where playing was effortless. I wasnt even thinking about what I was playing. In fact, most of it was like that (for good or bad!!!), but that magical place where you are flowing is addictive. And with others is wild.

I did find myself at times descend into performance! I cannot believe it. What an ugly thing. I would get focused on what I was playing, instead of simply playing in the mode of the room and the set. It was strange. If I want to avoid it, I have to guard against it. I cannot be passive. It slips in subtly.

It is a really interesting thing for me as well, being more improvisational, that the model of harp and bowl seems so restrictive. It is, in a sense. But in reality, it really is the least amount of structure to accommodate the most amount of flexibility I have seen. It is the talent and the creativity of the musicians that limits the actual model. We did some stuff today I havent heard around here, and no one is going to stop us. They arent the music police trying to get something. The point is to sub,it to the concept and the motive, which is universal, easy prayer for any person on staff, or dropping in, or watching on GodTV.

It does seem to have some roadblocks off the music side. The creativity level is VERY low as far as non musicians. If you dont pray out loud, and you dont play an instrument, there is very little for you here. And that is tragic. The musicians are set up like a concert, which is ridiculous. There isnt room to dance, and it isnt encouraged unless you are part of a special sub set of people here, and on and on..

There is a lot to grow into, but there is a lot here already. Im looking forward to developing my skill set, participate and help facilitate prayer, spend time in an anointed atmosphere, and then see how that translates out to BurningMan and other things.

A Little "MAN" Time

2008-04-20T09:49:00.001-07:00

Here I am. Just me. All the females have left. Judah and Israel gone with their mom, Danie, Havah and Christina and Kathy to FCF. Just me, and Zeb, and a dog pal that seems to come over and hang here.

Ahhh.... the testosterone. The unwashed body odor. That unique butt smell that follows me without anything to cover it up. Just time to relax. Time to be the only man in the house, and be him without and estrogenic interruption.

Yep, just me.

Alone.

By myself....

Hmmmmmmmm...........

This isnt working as well as I had hoped. I miss everyone. And I dont actually LIKE the way I smell, I just always seem to smell this way.

I think I will take the motorcycle out for a ride in the woods until everyone gets back.

Havah.... Its whats for dinner

2008-04-18T06:41:00.001-07:00

Took this one at about 4:50 am today.

This is what my mother in law does at my house

2008-04-18T06:26:00.001-07:00

Sitting in the big chair, talking to a sister, holding Havah. I took this after 2 hours. Thent he lady goes and does all my dishes.

It is a hard life I have here.

more pics

2008-04-16T03:18:00.001-07:00

Christina put up a bunch of Kathys pictures on a site.

http://picasaweb.google.com/helloortega/HavahPearlineJoy?authkey=PDov4kpYhtc

A quick Pic

2008-04-16T02:53:00.001-07:00

Here she is. Not the best picture of her actually, but its a start. Trust me, there are already 50+ and movies on Kathy Wheelers camera. It looks like she is a redhead, which is wild. We will see. Shes pretty happy, breastfeeding, and pooping. Definitely a Henry.

Danielle did a textbook Bradley labor and delivery. It was amazing to have such a supportive staff in a hospital. We had a phenomenal midwife team that really blew me away. And the labor nurses were very kind and supportive.

It was rather stressful dealing with the possibility of aspirated myconium. The baby was immediately taken to a tray and scoped and sucked out and fussed over for a good 10 minutes. It was a little touch and go there, and I was overwhelmed. Thank GOD things were fine. She seems not affected at all, and can definitely breathe and scream with the best of them.

Recovery seems good. Baby and Mom are doing well, and dont seem out of the norm, which is VERY important in a hospital. Im tired, but we did sleep some, so Im ready to get OUT OF HERE.

Things are well. We just ate again, after sleeping about 3 hours. She wouldnt sleep until I picked her up, and then wouldnt sleep until I carried her about for a while. Then she crashed with me. We have done this twice, just me and her crashed out in my little fold out chair. She seems to like it with me, and thats good!

I Love my Israel and my Judah so much! They came first to see her, and Havah seemed to be just fine with them holding her. She is one lucky girl to have older sisters like that. Judah already have plans for her...

http://judahland.blogspot.com/

I think we will come home today, and rest as much as possible. Thankfully, I had no appointments or crises today at work, and I hope for tomorrow as well. Im anxious to get back to TDA for my class on CHOCOLATE!!!!

Its a girl

2008-04-15T07:44:00.000-07:00

Havah was born 9:14 am 6lbs 9 oz 18.5 inches.

We had a little trouble right at the end. Mycnium was present all the way through, and they didnt like how she wouldnt scream. I was able to cath her, and went with her to the little toaster and helped her breathe and was with her while the team did their thing. She seems fine now.

This is consistent with a dream a friend had months ago, and it wasnt entirely unexpected. It seems like things are great.

Will update asap.

Yep its labor

2008-04-15T04:10:00.000-07:00

Here we are at Shawnee Mission Labor and Delivery....

7 cm dialted, bag of waters still tact, progressing very well. Danielle is doing very well, doing her best to relax, and feeling the birth. Im amazed.

Will update soon.

Hmmm....

2008-04-14T23:49:00.000-07:00

Now I'm up at 1:45 am!

Danielle woke me up and said she is having slightly painful contractions that only went away when she got up and walked around and ate. They are repeatable etc... and increasing in their pain, so there is a good chance this is the beginning.

The problem is, NOW IM AWAKE. I dont know how to relax to well. I just filed the taxes electronically, but I need to make a deposit, and mail off the returns as soon as I get notification. Thankfully, I have no appts this week yet, so we will see...

I might not get to update before the "kid hits the cervix", but at least I documented it. 4/15/08, 1:34 am, Havah seems to be starting her short little journey out. We odnt know how soon, but we know it is a lot closer. We will try to be patient.

Adoption Agency Guidleines from the consumer

2008-04-13T07:02:00.001-07:00

I think it is time for the demand side of the adoption marketplace to create a set of guidlines Adoption Agencies have to follow in order for those of us who wish to adopt to give them our money and time.

In any market, there is a concept of efficiency. In essence, this idea means the market itself will correct based on the dynamics at play. One of the dynamics, is the price as well as the customer.

I believe we should start a dialog amongst active adotpion couples, agencies, and consultants and create a list, similar to here.

Here are some examples....

1. Any Adoption Agency participating in this must be a fully "not for profit" venture, whether they are in fact a 501c3 corporation or not.

2. Each agency participating must have at least an annual financial disclosure including a balance sheet, an income statement, and a profit and loss statement, publicly available for all prospective adoptive people.

3. Each Agency will disclose ALL salary, dividends, and payouts to all board members, owners, and employees.

4. Each Agency will maintain a maximum of xxxx% overhead and admin costs including marketing, office and support supplies, etc...

5. Each agency will have a clearly written and communicated policy about the actual costs for adoptions, including any method of pricing changes for "hard to place" children. This would mean explaining in actual terms and numbers, as well as policy, how the agency handles and disperses monies that might be more than actual costs for "easy to place" children for "hard to place" children. If indeed, the agency does not have a policy for this, they will be disqualified.

5. Each agency will have the director or officiating board member sign and post a copy of "Articles of Compliance and Intent" that we create, and renew it every year.

This is a start. I would love to hear input from all of you. I dont know how to arrange it and process it, as blogs arent the best way. I have a new website called adoptionrelief.com, and I can set up a message board there etc... soon.

Im a wreck

2008-04-09T07:53:00.000-07:00

compared to my last post, this man has jumped on a grenade almost every day for the last year. If you dont believe in justice, his story is something to ignore.

If you believe that God counts every gasping breath, every minute of confusion, every demonic cackle when you lungs are sucking and struggling for air
, or the grief of being a parent watching your child suffer, or your baby girl fight just to stay warm at 1lbs, then you realize the immense accounting coming at the end of the age. When the last enemy is put under, when the disrupter and the defiler is presented in front of all creation, everyone with a case against sin, sickness, death, and distortion will have every single act of oppression resulting from his influence answered with justice.

Not only will eternal punishment be handed out, but an offsetting action will be released fromt he right hand of YHWY. HE will not only punish His enemies, but HE will give back more than what was stolen. HIS LAW requires it. HE will not be bribed away from it. HIS Vengance and HIS MERCY and GENEROUS HEART WILL GIVE into the black hole.

http://cfhusband.blogspot.com/

Medal of Honor

2008-04-07T17:53:00.000-07:00

I heard this story today and was struck. Regardless of the position people have on the war, this story is so self sacrificial.

http://www.navy.mil/search/display.asp?story_id=36049

Imagine going into a situation like this. You HAVE to believe the other guys would do this for you. In fact, you might even believe that they would try to do this in your place if they could. This kind of action is unbelievable. Even more so considering this young man was 25 years old.

I think of the kids at The Call School, I think of the Daniel Academy. I think "Am I ready, willing, and able to do this for someone, let alone someone I love?".

Cool Comment

2008-04-07T14:02:00.000-07:00

This was posted from an entry a while back, so I thought I would bring it forward. You can read her blog here

"As a child-centered ministry, Buckner’s goal is to serve pregnant women and their unborn children in such a way that the children’s lives are affirmed and that they are parented in the best way possible. Thus, we serve a large number of pregnant women who inquire about adoption but who, after counseling, decide to continue to seek a way to parent.

Only a small percentage of the clients we serve actually make adoption plans for their unborn babies – but almost all decide to give life. We provide these services at no cost. Therefore, the fees we charge adoptive parents must cover the services to all the pregnant women, not just the one whose baby they adopt.

Indeed, prospective adoptive parents who work with us become a part of Buckner’s ministry to pregnant women and their unborn babies."You are charged on a sliding scale based on your income ... if you have more to give, you are expected to do so ... equal sacrifice. You are not paying for an adoption - you are giving your part to the ministry, which encompasses much more than a child that may be entering your home. "

They make it very clear that every woman entering their doors is counseled first to parent. If every avenue has been exhausted, then and only then is adoption discussed.Your money may also go to help place a child with special needs or a waiting child into a home that may not have the funds to cover their full fee. They don't apologize for that. In fact, they take pride in it.

Find this adoption agaency and use it for your adoptions!!!!!!

More thoughts on adoption

2008-04-04T06:01:00.000-07:00

The more and more I think on this, and talk it out, the more and more galvanized I become. It isnt a judgment thing, it is more a conviction for me personally, and my take on the situation.

1. I believe it is better to birth a child than to kill it. For lots of reasons from the theological aspect, to the social. Take Planned Parenthood. It is clear their founder was a racist, and her intention was to slowly eliminate black people specifically, and others by implication. Planned Parenthood has more locations in economically disadvantaged areas, primarily black, than anywhere else. The most dangerous place for a child for "african-american" ethinicity is a mothers womb, where 2 out of 3 children are murdered. The social implications of an ethinic minority killing their own generations is reason enough to stop, even if you dont have a theological ground for anti-abortion.

2. It is better for the natural mother to parent her baby if possible. This is MORE of an investment than adoption, and requires even MORE effort in some cases. It is still better. Dont sugar coat the issue. As great as adoption is, as inherent as it is to the Gospel, to the message of love, to overall righteous behavior, any child wants their own natural mother first, and will hurt deeply if separated.

3. It is better to adopt than to leave children in compromised situations of abuse or neglect. No matter how redemptive, adoption should NEVER be the first choice offered, or the place where finances and social support are initiated. It should be offered far earlier than this.

4. We dont love people for a result. Our role model never "loved people into the Kingdom". He loved. period. We dont love children, mothers, others etc... so that something occurs. We must love them because we do, and we will not be restrained. Jesus is frankly crazy, and intimidating in this regard.

The work of the church should be involved far earlier than these above situations, and we should take the reality of widows, abandonded children and mothers, and orphans as a slap in the face, and a comment about our unfaithfulness and lack of understanding of how we are loved, and how God is earnestly desiring to give us everything we need to love them.
If we do not see this, we have fundemental flaws not only in "theology" but in actual practical relationship.

Awesome feedback,....

2008-04-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

"While I have been praying over adoption and thinking it a God thing, my heart breaks. I remember what I felt after birthing my child and I can't imagine giving him up. But I was in a situation where I was loved and cared for and safe. It is not like that for all women. Fear can be such a vehicle for human decisions. But if we (the BRIDE) could love more, I have to hope that it would be all the difference to a women facing these decisions. 1 John 4:18"

Absolutely!!! If indeed God knows how to lead those with young gently, we had better as well.

"It is true that some women are forced into giving up their children for adoption, but it isn't always at the hand of the "business" side of things. Often, it is by the natural mother's family. "

That is a great point. We need to make sure we dont take for granted the type of adoption. I know people with open adoptions, closed, and REALLY open (like regular dialog and visits with the natural mother). These are critical. In our haste to adopt and such, we cannot forget the reality that to be a woman in this istuation is unlike any other situation.

I have a belief that goes even further. I believe that most of the "theology" perpetuated by institutional churches is largely misogynistic. I love my spiritual family, but I disagree on a lot. When we take things like women, and we treat them as any different status wise (and try to explain it off as "God") we end up perpetuating an atmosphere that devalues women, and puts them in modes where decisions that are difficult normally, are downright impossible.

I actually know a woman who was pregnant, went to Georgia to have the baby and pick out the perfect adoptive parents. She found the ultimate couple (who were bi-racial in the same exact way as the baby (south american btw...)), and made a quality decision to care for this baby, and make as healthy an environment as possible. She actually was accosted IN A CHURCH by an older woman yelling at her that she might as well KILL THE BABY as adopt it out. What a wounded, broken lady to say this.

Now this is radical, and over the top, and I realize it. However, I only know a a very small amount of women who ever adopted out a baby, so this is a high percentage for me. I also know a woman who lived with a family for 9 months, at at the end decided to keep her child. He is now 15-16 years old, and she struggle through this with her own issues etc... and it is a testament to how a simple sacrifice for a few months could be more powerful than adoption.

The issue really is this... honoring women. If they are pregnant, or not. Honoring them and providing all the support they need, and helping them through these decisions only they can make. And adoption should be the last result, not the first pitch made to her.

Why I beleive the Adoption Industry is Human Trafficking Part 3

2008-04-01T04:37:00.001-07:00

I did some investigating and found loads of websites of adults against adoption! Wow. Most of these were natural mothers (they prefer to use that term rather than "birth mothers" and I understand why after reading their thoughts), and they honestly feel manipulated into giving up their children by the adoption industry. They actually feel like they were the victims of predatory practices by individuals involved in the business of poaching babies from women for couples who were infertile.

Just the thought of it makes me feel sick. I do NOT believe that is the majority, nor do I believe people I know that have adopted have ever willingly participated in this practice. To be honest, I dont personally know anyone with adopted kids that dont have "natural" children. Im sure there are some, I just havent met them yet.

But there was some interesting points in this. As a person interested in adoption because of a command to work with widows and orphans, when is a child truly an orphan? That was the main crux of the problem as I read it.

Adoption itself is focused on the reality of a child without any parents or "natural" family. The point of it is to walk in Gods heart for people, and people without family are something He doesnt leave alone.

So the real underlying issue is... We should be encouraging women to birth and raise their own babies. We should be facilitating that at every opportunity. I know this already, but reading these articles brought it back in focus. The reality is, helping a single mother raise her own child is the single best thing to do about the issue of Life.

We shouldnt try to sugar coat adoption. Adoption is the last resort. IT is a beautiful thing, however it is a grevious thing. The fact it exists at all is hurtful. We cannot just focus on the reality of wonderful, loving families as if that is the only aspect. There was great injury in the whole process. And God forbid we did "business" with anyone who influences a woman to give up her child for their commission.

This is where I think my heart has gotten to after thinking and feeling my way about this for a long time. Im not for adoption of newborns in most cases:

1. For one, the potential for manipulation of a woman in crisis is high. I think every attempt should be made to help that woman to parent her child, and all efforts should be put there first.

2. As I understand it,we are so desperate for someone not to have an abortion that we push adoption as the alternative. However, we need to understand that the best thing (and the most expensive, difficult, and personally costly thing) we could do is actually help a single mother (think widow here) grow into motherhood fully respected and empowered to live herself,a nd with her child, regardless of any personal faith decisions or values she would embrace past things that endanger the child.

3. Newborns are easier to adopt out than any other child. Almost everyone I know goes after newborns. While some dont get adopted Im sure, the point is that is where the market is.

4. Children a few years old and more are clearly orphans. They have been abandoned. They were the newborns that either didnt get selected, or they were put in situations that didnt work.
I think this is more towards the bottom of the issue for me. The fact that mothers feel manipulated doesnt mean they were. Hard to say, but true. Im sure some WERE. That is sick, and to stand before God with that makes me shudder. But painting the whole industry with a broad brush and claiming all of it is wrong based on the pain and true anguish of a group isnt correct.

However, take their cries, and listen. Listen to the reality that there is a deeper issue even underneath adoption. It is the cry of a (mostly young) woman, caught in a snare. That is the first problem. The baby isnt the problem, the situation of the woman is. If we are to be wild lovers of people, we cannot bypass this part and say that is for someone elses "calling". It is our first one. Then adoption.

Before I go any further....

2008-03-27T08:33:00.000-07:00

Im ranting and raging about adoption costs etc... however I want to reiterate. I know people (Tracie Loux being the #1) who are so earnest about helping, and have such a heart for helping babies get adopted that it is important to separate the people who are earnest, from the industry itself.

These faithful people are enduring this "industry" and working with a failing system to persevere in the work of placing children. Im sure there are people to criticize and critique, but the faithful ones are not the issue.

Lets make sure we keep this in perspective.

Why I believe the "Adption Industry" is the Human Trafficking Part 2

2008-03-27T07:01:00.001-07:00

Lets critique some of the ideas communicarted about adoption....

1. Agencies "discount" their fees for adoptions based on ethnic backgrounds, or other issue affecting adoptibility.

Im going to be blunt here. As a small business consultant, I regularly deal with the issues of operating overhead costs, profit margins, sales pricing, market demand etc... and I dont buy this explanation.

It is fundementally impossible to do business at a rate that does not cover overhead.

Scenario A
If you sell widget A at $15,000 and widget B at $39000 and the costs are THE SAME for your overhead (lets say $13000), the your profit on widget A = $2000, and your profit on widget B is $26000, or a combined total of $28000.

If all you have is demand for widget A, you still make a profit, just not as much.

Scenario B
If you sell widget A at $15,000 and widget B at $39000 and the costs are THE SAME for your overhead (lets say $30000), the your profit on widget A = -$15000, and your profit on widget B is $9000, or a combined total of -$6000 and you are out of business.

If all you have is demand for widget A, you have no business to worry about.

It is simply fallacious to say that anyone "discounts" their fees. Lets say it like it is... they "discount" their SALE PRICE. And the average of their PROFIT MARGIN simply needs to be in the positive. Essentially there is a "tax" on buyers of widget B, or a "premium", or an "upcharge". The costs are the same, but they choose to discount their price on certain products because it is offset by the profit on other products.

That is called a LOSS LEADER. It is the 2 bags of tortilla strips for $5 around Cinco De Mayo so you buy 3 jars of salsa that have a high profit margin, and 2 12 packs of beer.

Lets reword this. Lets say Im a pimp. I have 3 prostitues, 1 gorgeous ex model, 1 average looking, and 1 disabled woman. The price is so high for the ex model, but the demand is still there. Good marketing and price setting on my part. The average looking woman doesnt have the same demand until the price comes down. I set the price to keep the demand as high as possible without losing money. My disabled hooker is so undesirable, that I have to "discount my fees" to make sure she gets a fair shot at income.

That sound like B.S. doesnt it? If I didnt make enough on any one of them, I would get rid of them.... Crass and crude, but in my mind pretty close to it.

If the process is the same for a caucasian as another race, but the "fee" is different, we should just simply say outright "The fee structure varies because of demand, and we discount our service prices and make it up on other adoptions to cover the costs".

Im not accusing anyone of lying. Im simply stating that this adotpion industry is a flat out market, and a pretty efficient one at that. And lets not say "we discount our fees", lets say it for what it is "We cannot get the price we want, so we charge differently based on our assesment of what the market will bear".

I do this ALL THE TIME with companies.

Why I believe the "Adption Industry" is the Human Trafficking Part 1

2008-03-27T05:58:00.000-07:00

Tracie Loux, whom I love dearly, has written a great post on costs of adoption here. Tracie is an absolutely legitimate, caring person whom I heartily endorse to help with Adoptions. What I am about to say should not be taken as an attack against her, or the agency she works for etc... Read her blog post, and then follow my thoughts here.

Human Trafficking is the exploitation of humans for gain, typically financial. Most often, it is the use of weaker individuals, especially helpless, constrained, or disadvantaged.

Therefore, I believe that if I make a personal profit from the use of any human outside of their will and involvement, I am at least running the risk of participation in this, if not outright doing it.

It isnt enough to list the costs. The issue is WHY the costs exist, and what the profit is. I assume that most people involved in adoption do so because they care about it. But Im not convinced 100% of them are motivated by concern. Not only that, the burden of proof is on the agency to demonstrate they do not profit from this. "A workman is worth of his wages", this is true. However, there is a realistic limit on how much wages is righteous.

I am coming to the conviction that any adoption agency should make public their accounting, including specifically salary related to directors and executives. Any adoption agency that is not a non-profit corporation, business, should demonstrate they are effectively a "not for profit" business and expose any salary related disbursements. All Adoption agencies should be 3rd party audited if they make any claim to be non-profit, or not for profit.

How many agencies are willing to take this challenge. I bet next to none.....

Its time to give....

2008-03-26T17:06:00.000-07:00

http://storinguptreasuresinheaven.blogspot.com/

Read this blog for the last few weeks. Then give me money. Seriously. OR send to to them directly via paypal. If you need a tax deduction (And I reccommend it) contact me.

If you are adopting, sow into someone elses adoption. If you plan on adopting, sow into this so you have a harvest. If you arent going to adopt, give into this because it is right to support neglected and abused children finding homes in loving families. If you dont believe in GOd, or beleive there is one, do this because the universe recognizes what you are doing. If you claim to be a follower of Christ give with joy because you are required to.... Tell your friends and your communities about this one. $5 helps. $50 helps.

Im not ashamed to ask for money for orphans.... ever. And I dont ask you to give into something I havent. They need $5000+ dollars because the human trafficking of children requires their own pimp fee. I will post later on that, but trust me, this is a racket that is totally out of line.

The real deal

2008-03-18T17:25:00.000-07:00

Finally, real BBQ. Thanks to Nick, we went to L C's BBQ. It was by FAR the best BBQ I have had so far. Jacks Stack is good, theur Baby Backs are hard to beat. This place was sooo good it put it overthe top. Awesome Onion Rings, good fries, excellent Burnt ends, Excellent Ribs cooked all the way, Smoked Beef.

This is the place.

Our trip to Chicago was fun. Longer drive than anticipated, we ended up going right to the resturant. Tompolobampo was the best mexican food I have ever had. In reality, it is so far beyond normal mexican that it is like comparing 2 totally different concepts. Kind of like a nylon string guitar vs. an electric guitar.

We had a 5 course tasting menu. Danie got a different on than me, and I got the wine paring. The wine paring was so well done I was beyond surprised. Things were matched so well you could really experience the difference with and without the wine.

Danielle and I stumbled out of there and went to our hotel. Our hotel was a little odd. Chicago is quite a neat place, especially downtown. Our hotel was trying hard to be hip, and yet they played 80's music in the hallways, which was weird. I was up a good part of the evening. That much food, with that much com[plexity is more than I can handle. We plan to never go out liek that without digestive enzymes!

I hung with my beautiful wife. We went to the Field Museum of natural history, and saw a cool exhibit of native americas people. We wore out, went to get Deep Dish pizza, and ended up finding a Trader Joes downtown! The only TJ's with an elevator I have ever seen.

We picked up some gorceries, and drove around Lake Michigan, and downtown. Then we went back to the hotel and got hooked on "In Treatment" which is a TV show about therapy sessions. Wow.

We got up the next day, and had a mishap with our front desk. After a while things got worked out. However I missed an exchange where the valet man spouted off a smart ass remark to my wife. I found out as we were leaving, and Im glad I wasnt there. I would have been even more of a jerk, and we would have ahd a jerk contest.

We made it back int he rain, and are settling in.

Off to the WIndy City

2008-03-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

Takin my babe to Chicago. Eating here and wandering around for a "babymoon" before Huckleberry pops out and changes our lives.

I already miss my girls!! LOL. But we need to get away.

Wow

2008-03-14T07:57:00.001-07:00

Todd emailed me about this book he heard about. Someone we had both met, (a simple man who lives a simple message came to our area long ago when I contacted him, and he really affected my heart and life in a good way, during a dark time. He came, stayed over at Todd and Kims, and then went on his way) had another friends who wrote a book he highly recommends.

I thought I had ordered it months ago, but something got mixed up. I went to order some other books at amazon, and it remembered my previous attempt (I guess a good case for cookies?). I ordered it.

I finished it last night crying, almost weeping. Im glad I bought 3 copies, and they are all committed in my heart to specific people that are on my heart.

As I read this book, I didnt learn a whole lot of new stuff. I more had a remembering. As I read these words, I realized how much God has done in and for my life. So much more than is evident ont he outside yet. And how many things had gotten revealed, and then essentially shut up in me.

So much creativity. Holy spirit is so wild, and I forget it. How compassionate and gentle and self sacrificing Yeshua is. How totally trustworthy and stable and consistent and giving Abba is. How determined to heal, at any cost to themselves. No cost is outside of the discussion. No time restraints, no resistance too big. Pain is simply a stepping stone into deeper dialog, just as great joy. They are both share the same intended endpoint when life is surrendered to them.

And then as I went to bed, I asked God simply "Why did I forget all this? Why dont I live hardly any of this consciously?" It seems to wasteful for God to do the things done in my life, and for me to sit in object difference.

"Vanity"

Yep. I dont have any reason to brag. I have had tremendous encounters with God. All the big ones I have heard about. And I am finding that I am still in the immaturity part. I took the truth, and turned it as power and position and applied it to others instead of allowing it to empower me to love MORE and more DEEPLY.

My humanity saw something, and hijacked it. I have seen everyone I know personally do this. It is the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Truth is good, and when we coem to know more of it, we know what ISNT. And we get distracted and turn against Evil, rather than rejoicing in the Truth (a characteristic of Love). And some of us catch it quicker than others.

I have all too easily allowed myself to be defined by what I am NOT ABOUT! And I catch it. Holy Spirit helps me. And I surrender. I dont know how God does it.

One of the main reasons Im not living in a steady stream of this, is because it would cause me to stumble. Knowledge without intimacy and self control/focus on the real only causes me to descend into the non-real. God doesnt want me to do that. God doesnt cause people to unlove someone.

I desire to turn. I desire to re-turn. I want a life flooded with revelation. I want it to course through me and out of me into a violent force. I want people around me to be shook up by the wildness I have seen in the eyes of a man stretched out on my behalf, becoming my curse, and screaming out for me. I want the colors again. I want the smells and the creativity. I want the smallness (and even distortion of space and time) that comes when YHWH is locating around me. I want my kids to see past this thin veneer of self indulgent life. I want them to shake false convictions and make evil unstable and obvious. I want power to Love, especially down tot he practical.

So I recommend the book as a good catalyst. It has its weak points. It is human. But it is divine in origin, that much is clear. God is speaking here. Some people are positioned to hear it right now. If not this book, then do whatever edifies you enough to get real today.

http://www.theshackbook.com/

We Adopted too!!!

2008-03-13T04:58:00.000-07:00

Randy Told me we could adopt right now. It is cheaper, faster, and we could pick anyone we wanted. :

stuff i think: Who Knew?

So I adopted Tracie Loux. She is our favorite early adopter, and she is helping so many other people adopt I figured she might need a little adoption of her own.

Here she is (or I guess Here Who Is).... our darling, creative, special new member of the Henry Family...

A weird Industry (Adoption Relief Part 2)

2008-02-26T03:16:00.000-08:00

1. I stumbled upon a niche industry. Lets be clear, it is an industry. There is a LOT of money exchanging hands for a product AND a service.

2. It is slightly untypical because in the industry, the "manufacturers" are typically inconsistent (they dont start producing and continue) in production capacity, vary dramatically in product configuration, and have hyper-dynamic and hyper-critical cycles of production (they will deliver product within x amount of time, and all have different specific needs within a greater set of typical requirements).

3. It is complicated, because the legal issues involved dont permit direct connection between the "buyer" (or "end user") and the mfg. In fact, there is a set of "distributors" and/or "dealers" that represent the mfg, and you can only truly accomplish what you want by using them.

4. These "dealers" have a vested interest in you not understanding or knowing how to navigate the process. They are in fact "agencies", and in almost all cases are the holders of the keys. It is possible to go outside the agencies, but the agencies will share with you horror stories of what can happen to you if you dont use them.

5. The nature of the "transaction" has an inherent emotional context that renders both sides of the transaction extremely vulnerable.

6. The reality of product preference is very strong. The demand side wants a typical profile of product, and yet the mfg have basically no ability to influence the product.

7. Therefore, the market itself creates a dramatic price premium on certain product. It is so similar to a futures market it is surprising. It is very unregulated except for the distributors. I even heard a "dealer" claim they "discount" specific product, however I dont believe it. If they can do business for a discounted rate, and still stay in business, then by definition, it is still profitable. Therefore, they are actually either ABLE to charge more for one product than another, or at best use the discounted product as a "loss leader".

8. The main issue the dealers have is they understand all the processes, represent the mfg by having what seems to be an "exclusive contract" on the product, and have the unique right to administer the exchange process.

9. To my understanding, this makes the whole market a dealer (3rd party) managed, supply side driven market. The "consumer" has very little ability to influence the market, and very little ability to direct the transaction except for to set a price/budget, and follow directions.

The fact this industry is dealing with a moral issue is what brings this whole thing into perspective. It is not right to claim that the people involved are evil, or morally off. In fact, most people probably get involved for many good reasons. But the reality is, this industry seems to be very flawed, very complex, and very "proprietary"for the most part. In fact, at its best, it is a really messed up, labor intensive, cost intensive thing that brings great joy to people, and at worst, seems to emulate the very industry it stand in direct opposition to.

I have come to the conclusion that the infrastructure is overly bloated, complex, and totally incapable of handling the current load of product, the supply chain is grossly mismanaged, the delivery mechanisms are inefficient, and the ability of the sales channel to effectively serve the market is to convoluted to work well long term.

There has to be a market revolution.

It has to change from a supply side, dealer managed process to an efficient, demand driven, demand managed, dealer transparent model where the marketplace can initiate the process, self educate, automate all data processing, and eliminate as much of the overhead as possible. This will allow the demand to outstrip the supply.

The "dealers" in the marketplace will simply become mechanical agents able to process hundreds (if not thousands) or transactions a month. The margins will be razor thin, and highly competitive, because the "tribal knowledge" aspect will be eliminated. The process will become self evident, and normal. I picture it as very similar to the real estate market. The transaction itself is fairly common, the choice of the agent in more of convenience and service than actual difference in transaction control. Or similar to the many online brokerages that allow you to trade yourself, supervised by rules and regulations that are automated.

The "mfg" will find themselves in a situation where it is so easy to find a qualified buyers en masse (in fact, they find a huge void of product, and overwhelming demand), that they can easily solve their production problem within hours or days and have the same confidence level that many other high intensity, high emotion transactions currently do (i.e. selling a house, selling a car etc...).

The "buyers" will find themselves able to conduct the transactions far more easily than ever before. Technology is a huge part of this, as well as a "Wal Mart" approach to the process. Large scale, high volume transaction is only possible with solid technology on both sides,a nd agressive management and attention to demand. Just as Wal-Mart is able to know constantly the state of affairs in any store, on any product, and feed that data back to its supply chain, this industry has to automate most of the data transactions to the point of ubiquity, and invisibility. The buyer will be aware of very little, and yet confident in the consistency and integrity of the transaction.

As well, the ability for a buyer to go find this transaction should be as easy and close and typical as a local store. It shouldnt be arduous or require special effort to accomplish.

this is all still very rough in my mind, but I will tell you this, Im ready to do something about it. Even in a little way. I might be grandiose in my concepts, but this will get very practical, very soon. If the profit motive can be removed in this, to the point where this "industry" crumbles, and the ability for more and more people to commit themselves to this process faster, easier, cheaper, while improving the integrity and respect the mfg deserves, Im happy.

I would burn this mother down if I could.

Until then, I will make an attempt to invade it, change it, rail against it, and rally for it all at the same confusing time. It is time to take practical, pragmatic steps to help people adopt children. To level the playing field, and bring babies into their destiny. Its time for Adoption Relief.

AdoptionRelief

2008-02-26T02:54:00.001-08:00

I attended an adoption seminar put on by by an adoption consultant team from Georgia. They have established an adoption consultant out here in KC that we think is wonderful. I sat and watched my friends speak, and saw a room filled with people who are about ready to put themselves in front of a tsunami of sorts, and I was thrilled.

Danielle and I fully intend on adopting, and the debate was whether we adopt before we have biological children, or after, or intermixed. Due to our own biology, it is decided at least that we will have biological children first, and possibly interweave our children as time goes forth.

Many of my close friends know and have supported my interest in this for years. I tried to figure out how I could ever adopt myself, but had to settle for simply anonymously contributing to adoption, and now the possibility and reality of adopting myself is so exciting.

I am excited that Danie is pregnant, and the challenges of a new baby are sometimes daunting. You would think I would be confident, and in some ways I am. In others, I simply think "Having babies is for young people"!!! LOL. Turning 38 in a few weeks I realize Im just not the same as I was 13+ years ago!

But a part of me is just as excited in adopting. The experience, and the challenge. The reality that there is someone out there God is keeping ready for me to have in spite of the nature of unplanned or unwanted pregnancy is fascinating.

However the one thing that keeps coming up is the inevitable difficulty of adoption itself. Honestly, I dont know that it should ever be easy enough to be undertaken lightly. It is as much a sacrament to me as any other example because the power of desiring a child that you did not conceive is an eternal testimony to the transcendent message of Gods love. In fact, Im paying out of pocket for our bio-child, and an adopted child will probably be much more expensive. The cost, the investment, the labor will in some ways be greater to go get this baby than having one naturally.

But once the commitment is made, the process is much, much too difficult. Especially in light of what I believe is a coming wave of obedience and repentance about this issue by the body of Christ. The simple reality of the current status of adoptions necessitates a different model, let alone the reality of a much hoped for change in the ability of women to abort children and add an overwhelming amount of orphans into a broken system.

In attending this seminar, I realized that while I could continue to pour my efforts into generating revenue to donate, I have other skills and abilities that bring help. By nature, Im a crazy odd combination of skill sets that allow me to be creative, and analytical at the same time. I dont know how or why. Data structures and process make sense to me. And in listening to the presentation, I realized a few things, and they connected. Some are obvious, and some are silly, and some are my personal convictions. And I hope to provide some "Adoption Relief" coming soon.

This might have clinched it for me...

2008-02-24T04:15:00.000-08:00

This guy might have my vote. Forget about the conservative stance on almost every issue that is consistent with mine, I dont recall an actual candidate on SNL.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hac-UHi56Xc

Home Alone 27

2008-02-22T07:47:00.000-08:00

Im home alone again...

This time, my wife AND my oldest took off to Ohio. They are going to a baby shower for Danielle. I sent them off with a rental car, and a chocolate nirvana from Dunn Brothers.

I can only imagine the quantity and the quality of the words being spoken during a 10 hour road trip.... Me and Zeb are happy to be here by ourselves.

Judah is supposed to come over Saturday, and me and her are going to see a movie. And eat junk food.

I think this is the 4th trip to Ohio since we have been here. It can wear on a guy. I think I am taking up the cause of my late and great father in law. When Kathy came ot help us move, the poor guy was at home, and couldnt find his glasses and it was a running joke. He kept calling,a nd we could hear Kathy try to help him look for them. I get kind of lost now without Danielle. I dont know how I ever made it through 8 years of living alone.

Im glad about my whole life, and her and Bebas absence truly makes my heart grow fonder for them.